Experience last night

[Anna]

Ok so basically what happened is I had been attacked earlier in the day, just energetically not physically, and I felt really gross about it, so I’m talking with Father and being like I need to get rid of this thing, I don’t want this, I want to be able to feel you again and it’s blocking your energy, etc and he’s walking me through how to get rid of it for the millionth time because he has endless patience and as I start talking to him the dumb entity shows up and starts trying to attack me. Its energy was completely smothering.

I was working on detaching it from every part of me, so anywhere in my body or being I could feel it, telling God remove it from here, remove it from here and so on until its presence got weaker and weaker and I could feel its grip less. It’s a process I’ve repeated again and again. I’ll explain it later when I have more time. That was really tough and at one point I literally felt it on top of me and I was scared to death. Finally I got it out of me I felt but it was still in the room and I knew I couldn’t go to sleep because if I tried it would just attack me again while I was sleepy and not fully able to fight and reattach itself. So I’m waiting for it to leave bc if it’s not connected to me it has no tether and can’t really remain here very long. Eventually the seroquel kicked in enough and its presence was weak enough for me to feel comfortable trying to sleep. However I was so racked with anxiety and adrenaline from the experience it was hard and took a while.

That’s all.

summary: spent hours detaching the dumb demon from me again last night and fighting it it was exhausting and I was up until like 2 am

[everhopeful]

You said in your other post you just started 2mg rexulti today (up from 1mg). So hopefully in 2 weeks you should notice something positive.

[Anna]

Ok so explaining the process with the demons-basically when I get attacked they force their energy on me, with the intent to mix with with mine, thus lowering my overall energy, making it more difficult for me to communicate with my positive helper entities, dropping me planes on the nonphysical to where I’m closer to them and just making me a worse, unhappy person in general.

In order to accomplish this they have to gain access to my energy field. I can use my willpower to resist this and keep them from getting in. I can call on God to send them away and while this works instantly with weaker entities, stronger ones are more complicated because whether or not it causes them to leave is based on whether or not my addicted ass really wants them to leave combined with the strength of my faith that God will protect me at that given time. It is much, much easier to send them away if they are not in my energy field and I can send them off in seconds.

Once they get into my energy field is when things get messy. I can feel them get into each major point of my energy and their energy just leaks out into mine or gets pumped out. Their energy is massively dark but also intoxicating. I tend to compare it to heroin (Though I’ve never done heroin). The interesting thing is, if they are not inside me, it is not as enjoyable or tempting as if they are inside me.

Them being inside also gives them more control over me, making it easier to force their will onto mine and getting me to want the same things as them. It makes it a lot harder for me to fight as well. When I’m fully “infected” fighting them is massively difficult so it’s best to be preventative and not let them in to begin with. Furthermore, them being connected to me gives them an anchor in this plane and allows them to attack me or contact me at pretty much any time all the time if they choose. When they are not inside me, not connected, they can’t stay on this plane for that long, not even an hour. The weaker they are the longer they can stay, because their energy isn’t as negative so it doesn’t pull them as severely. Versus the stronger ones really can’t stay long at all without a “host” I guess you could say and must return to their plane frequently.

In order to get rid of them I have to go through a long and challenging process of detaching them from my energy and banishing them, of course with help of God. It is exhausting, requires powerful will on my part and battling addiction, as well as battling the demons because they fight tooth and nail to stay inside and not be disconnected and sent away during.

This is a constant cycle I go through. Being on top of it all, not allowing them into my energy field, constant banishing, remaining in constant contact with Father and my helpers who help keep me on the straight and narrow. Then when life is hard, the inevitable fall where I just can’t maintain the fight and they get in, which makes everything worse. Ages of getting my ass kicked. Then finally working up the nerve and determination to get them away again. Exhausting. This is what you invite into your life when you play with the occult though. I don’t touch that stuff anymore but I didn’t know any better when I was younger and this is the result. Ah well. Reap what you sow.

[Sardonic]

@Anna This is not your fault. Plenty of people play with the occult and don’t have this happening to them. I don’t want to be rude but maybe these are just hallucinations, not anything supernatural. I get it though. I believe my affliction to be supernatural. It’s hard to believe it’s not real. I have a theory and everything. But maybe, maybe, it is a product of our minds. I don’t know what for. But the mind is powerful, we must remember that.

[Anna]

In my opinion, and granted this is the weirdo and not the logical side of me speaking, the people who mess with it, and then claim not to have experienced anything just don’t have the ability to sense anything. No awareness. Doesn’t mean things still can’t influence them and lead them astray and mess up their lives…they just won’t know the cause.

[everhopeful]

I agree with @Sardonic. When I’m off meds I live in a supernatural disney land like you @anna.

I have to be careful what I say though (I don’t want to be a hypocrite) as I do believe there’s a spiritual element to my disease even though my meds are working well. But it doesn’t consume me.

[Anna]

Supernatural Disneyland more like supernatural hellscape omg

[Gonehuntin]

See how you said they get weak when you take your meds? That shows that it’s in your mind more than external. Because the meds are some typeof magical repellent for demons.

That being said doesnt diminish from your experiences but it does give you the insight that you can over come these things.

We cant run from reality we can only learn how to interact and treat people better.

Sucks seeing people as normal as I used to be skate through life. But all we can do is try harder

[Anna]

Well unfortunately my mind has found a way around that, in that medication may alter the brain so that you are no longer able to perceive the nonphysical, the same way some belief systems say certain substances can give you temporary greater awareness of it. I’ve mentioned some metaphor before about being able to see color in a colorblind world, no one has any idea what you’re talking about because it’s not easy to describe color, so it’s deemed an illness, they give you medication that makes you colorblind too and you assume since the medication worked it was an illness.

Of course while saying this I’m also aware that the delusional mind will come up with absolutely anything to preserve its beliefs and will find an explanation for literally anything pointing to the contrary.