i’ve noticed some posters have big expectations - of themselves and of life. mentioning no names.
i think when you have a severe mental illness you have to reduce your expectations - if for no other reason than to be kind to yourself.
if you are physically paralysed from the waist down, it’s unrealistic to expect to win the olympic marathon race or to climb mount everest.
we are programmed by society to have expectation of ourselves - but it’s important to realise these are ‘normie’ expectations. normies don’t have a severe mental illness, and it’s very unlikely we can achieve the same as them.
i’ve had the same problem in the past - expecting too much of myself, but now i’m an old fart i’ve become more realistic.
do you have high expectations of yourself and life, perhaps the same as a normie would?
yeah, guilty here too. The thing is, not all of us can accomplish great things.
We’re probably not built for high stress CEO jobs, but we can accomplish a lot.
I think you have to change your expectations or it leads to a deep unhappiness. We do not all live like Hollywood movie stars. There is a certainty that we will fall ill at some time from something. For a lot of us that just happens to be with mental illness. That is tough, especially when you’re a young man or woman just coming up brimming with expectations of how you want your life to go. Then reality sets in and you have to adapt to new circumstances which an mean end to flights of fancy of how you wanted to reach for the moon and such. It takes time and a lot of humility to admit to yourself.
I might be ill but I’m not going to give up on my dreams and no one else should ether! Just cause you’ve given up don’t mean we all should! @Minnii@flybottle
I’m off to visit wife’s relatives and go back-to-school shopping for my daughter who is going into grade ten. Neither the wife or daughter were supposed to be attainable to me. Good thing my expectations for myself were higher than what my original psychiatrists had for me.
You can stay realistic and still have dreams. Not all dreams are healthy to pursue though, and you’ll be better off if you choose your dreams carefully. Don’t strive for unrealistically distant goals. It will not make you happy.
Too bad that I did not have any children in America when I was there, I am sure she or he would have become the President of the USA, … just kidding well, I suppose that when one is young there are greater expectations, but when you become older priorities change.
‘What do you want to become when you grow up?’ is the question I have been asked twice, once by one plant manager of one international corporation and once by my Soviet Russian language teachers. Well, I did not become that what I responded. Any way I did travel the world. Should have joined British Airway’s World Traveler club.
I really think i am realistic with my expectations.
Not sure i have expectations. as such. do but dont.
I am disabled and i have limitations as to what i can and cant do.
I suck at social settings and i cant work full time in person and i cant do most work tasks in person.
I can not in person hold conversations and debates and fancy talk over dinners.
I can talk basic and simple talk.
Thats just realistic. Thats how it is.
That does not mean i have low self confidence which some one thought.
It means i understand i have limitations in my person and i want to be humble and understanding to that yet appreciate what i can do and i am grateful for who n all i am and what i can do.
I mean i can speak.
It may not be fancy or so but i get by such as i can talk of activity being performed and i can write here on this site.
Some things i would like to do but do not expect may be work enough hours in person to get of cl or if not up to that then apply for pension again and keep doing work i currently have, meet some one compatible for longterm relationship n maybe marry, get healthier and lose few kg, keep active/exercise, start going to beach etc again., move in with future partner or get own place, break bad relationships, start positive good relationships, laugh more, relax more, mark myself so i stop feeling im under attack and people stealing from me etc, be able to enjoy my activities without feeling attacked aloner etc or defend what is mine from being stolen such as my irl money etc
I do expect my future partner/bf/husband to be generous to me but i expect this because i am a generous person myself and ive had cheap men and never want that again and how bad they treat you despite having.I never used to have expectations on such but i did not have compatible men either and it was bad.
aaaa and more but will leave it there for now.
I’m not sure where I land on the scale of great expectations and reality. I expect a great deal out of myself and often get let down. I hope to return to my prior functioning from before the illness, I’m getting closer everyday.
I did not say I expect him to be rich but that I expect him to be generous to me because I am a generous person I want to be treated well in return.
As mentioned the most generous man bf I was with was a doll bludger .
The cheapest bf I was with was millionaire.
there’s many ways one can be generous with who one is, ones time, ones money or with what ones got etc.
I’m not after a man for his money.
But if I’m buying food n cooking for hours n hours week after week n the guy won’t even buy me dinner in return then that’s not ok and then on top of that treats you badly.
I think the right guy would understand this somehow.
I hope I have expectations on myself to not allow that to happen ever again. Nor similar things but to be with someone treats ya well .
If you believe it you can achieve it! I have high expectations and a great support network/services to go with it. I think I’m being realistic. Plus I’m asymptomatic now.
There are more exceptions than there are examples of it being correct. It’s a completely silly thing to say. We can not achieve anything we want, and believing that we can will only hinder us from achieving the things that are actually possible. Dream big but don’t cling to delusions.
They do not know, nor dream of, that dreaming commands life. That whenever a man dreams the world leaps forth like a colourful ball into a child’s little hands.
That said, I have “normie” expectations I guess, my symptoms are a part of the insecurities that surround achieving what I want, but I don’t let this fear stop me from moving forth. When, and if, I get there, I’ll see. Better go soft on the self-imposed shackles, at the start, and try than just assume you know how the credits will roll on this matter I’d say.
just kidding 