Great expectations

Lounge
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I still think your discussion of how you set your goals is maybe the single most helpful and inspiring thing for me as I set and pursue my own. Reasonable, realistic goals within your reach, constantly adjusted and updated as you move forward and find more things within your grasp.

For myself and my studies (law), I have any number of stopping places that are short of my ultimate goal, and any one of those stopping places represents a great improvement over where I started from and what I thought possible for myself just a year ago. Iā€™ve already passed several of them.

Of course there is the ultimate goal, but thatā€™s more of a landmark that helps me determine which direction Iā€™m headed in, rather than just wandering aimlessly. What Iā€™m focused on is getting through the next semester. 16 weeks, 5 classes, each one meets 32 times. By next Friday, those numbers will be 15, 5 and 30. One step at a time.

I have to be honest here, I see a few things happening in this thread. One thing is a reminder to be gentle and kind with yourself and not judge yourself by unattainable standards. Thatā€™s great.

But I also see a bit of the crab phenomenon, where when one crab starts to climb out of the bucket, the others pull him back in.

We have members here who have accomplished quite a bit - advanced degrees, running their own businesses, successful marriages and families, challenging and rewarding careers. Iā€™m thinking of @flybottle, @anon31257746, @shutterbug and @patrick, @katwomansz. @Sharp just graduated 3rd in her class and is now starting a competitive degree program.

Thereā€™s no way to determine what someoneā€™s limits are simply because of their diagnosis. Saying that itā€™s impossible for anyone to reach a certain goal because of mental illness is just as incorrect as saying everyone can reach that goal in spite of it.

TLDR: donā€™t be afraid to push at the edges of your comfort zone. Donā€™t be ashamed to stop when you have to.

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22

I will never be an astronaut. Or an Olympian. My heart condition wonā€™t even let me go jogging. One cannot defy reality.

That being saidā€¦

Never EVER take someone elseā€™s word about what your limitations are - find out for yourself. You may have a few spectacular crashes along the way (I sure have), but youā€™ll land far enough from where you started to make it worthwhile.

Remember that your doctor will deal with you as if youā€™re the lowest common denominator. Youā€™re not. Everyone has a gift to share, but not everyone has opened theirs.

Be awesome.

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I agreeā€¦

I believe most everyone is born with a gift. Your responsibility is to work hard at perfecting and then sharing your talent with the rest of the worldā€¦on whatever scale that may be, large or small or somewhere in between.

Donā€™t die with your music left inside of you.

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Youā€™re taking great steps, finishing a very difficult degree, sobriety, batteling with yourself to accomplish more and better. In my book, youā€™re doing amazingly well.
Donā€™t sell yourself short.

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25

Well, I did laundry and dishes today. Sigh. Maybe I will have higher expectations of myself in a few months. I used to work so hard to solve problems and accomplish goals. Now I feel like I donā€™t have any answers and am just along for the ride. Iā€™ve only had sz a few months so Iā€™ll give it more time. Iā€™m still getting used to it.

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i was really asking about great expectations

becoming a millionaire, or a movie star, or just being happy

i was speaking generally, and of course there are always exceptions to the general rule, that goes without saying - it doesnā€™t mean the general rule is incorrect.

many normies dream big, and they usually donā€™t achieve their dreams. itā€™s so much harder when you have a severe mental illness

out of all the millions of people with sz in the last 50 years, how many are famous names? ok john nash (developed his game theory 10 years before sz set it) or maybe syd barrett (the pink floyd drummer.)

if you expect much, but havenā€™t achieved it, it makes you unhappy with yourself and with life.

thatā€™s not to say you shouldnā€™t try your best and do the best you can. but donā€™t be hard on yourself if you canā€™t achieve the same as a normie huh.

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In 28 days I will be an Olympian. Olympia, Washington Iā€™m moving toā€¦so I guess thatā€™s the less ambitious version. But Olympian nonetheless :wink:

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I eat normies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

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Are you saying that a person with a severe mental illness, such as schizophrenia, should be hard on themselves if they canā€™t achieve the same as a normie?

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Iā€™m saying that anyone who isnā€™t working towards achieving their full potential should be trying to find the motivation to do so.

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I said - thereā€™s nothing wrong with trying your best.

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All this caca they told me as a young man . . . ā€œA man can be anything he wants to be,ā€ and so forth. It led me to a lot of heart ache.

Jayster

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quote-everyone-said-to-vincent-van-gogh-you-can-t-be-a-great-painter-you-only-have-one-ear-steve-carell-81-18-99.jpg850Ɨ400 59.6 KB

Anyway, Iā€™m sort of in the middle about this. Definitely think you shouldnā€™t stress too hard about success. Just thought this was especially funny though.

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34

Once againā€¦

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35

I agree with everything you said. People can still have good fulfilling lives but yes, you have to accept certain limitations. You can still do better in your life than many ā€œnormiesā€ and you can still dream of realistic success but in some cases you are just setting yourself up for failure if you attempt too much.

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i could only watch the first 10 seconds ā€¦ it was obviously crud

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@Rhubot

PREACH!!!

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Polite disagreement.

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You are setting yourself up for a lifetime of failure and unhappiness if you try nothing.

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he didnā€™t say try nothing, he said ā€˜attempt too muchā€™ you quoted it yourself ffs

geez

this thread is getting silly