for those who doesn’t have paranoia they dont imagine what the hell it is… i still think that others will judge me as a monster… or i am just anxious. do you think that ill can find a relief one day? i am fed up to stay at home. i went out today on a coffee with my mom but it was tough. i was suffering even physically in my head, there is so much pressure in my stupid head… ive also learned with this illness that i should leave myself to show some bad charcter sometimes. my will of always be good is not healthy for me… but my brain is a mess now… come on, tell me that my meds need time. only 4 months on Zyprexa for me with my 20 th years of illness. i still hope in them cause i really dont feel a lot of positive effect from my ap…
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Try another ap I’ve had it a long time too a lot of meds don’t do crap…
ive tried almost every antipsychotic on the market, i assure you. for me, its not a solution anymore to change, i did it with my therapist. i only did this for 7 years… maybe i need time with the Zyprexa now? …
i edit cause i said something stupid… in fact, no need for a bad character, it could only be a psycho thing the bad character. i am already psycho, i need always to goal on good things. but otherwise, yes i feel like a bad person even though that i dont do anything bad…
i see some people here are paranoid to post pictures. maybe this is the real paranoia? cause my ex pdoc once said that my fears are not a ‘‘real’’ paranoia. maybe that’s the reason why my Zyprexa doesnt work? i just feel like a bad person a loot, i feel guilt and shame to show myself bad to others because my mood is always low… maybe this is more the thing that i got? i have fears to be judged which is a dumb thing, yes i confirm. its too dumb… but my brain is a mess now… otherwise, i cant even impose myself to someone, its to a point that i dont have a point of views in the life almost on anything… i am officially a dummie… the pdocs said all that i am relatively intelligent but i have this interrupted thinking, nothing constructive and all the time these thoughts of what is normal, how do the others function, how i will function one day etc etc… gosh, its ■■■■■■■ tiring…
I often take a day’s worth of Ativan (1mg) when I go out to eat with family or friends. It helps, I still get paranoid but it lessens the anxiety. Maybe something to discuss with your med doc.
Getting car worked on his hell here…Had 10 employees talking crazy to me last time and I’m an adult who CANNOT have anyone else take in this car. I was paying $55+ for synthetic oil change that probably won’t get car blown up. Lots of female friends have been screwed bad by local car repair situation including some who drive over an hour from city of 500k to get service done,…Speaks to sad state of discrimination.