My mom screams on me, me I scream to her and then I am afraid that my neighbours will judge me as completely crazy… Its some kind of feeling that I want to hide even physically from everybody in those moments. I dont understand why I continue to suffer even on Zyprexa. Do I need time?
why this paranoia doesn’t disappear in your opinion? Or maybe its just a social anxiety? But I want to hide in the wardrobe even sometimes… sorry for the insane thing that I say but its like this… a friend of my mom came to see us today and I talked a little bit to her but I had all the time the impression that I say crazy things… what is this for god sake?
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Time will heal u up…with ur unpleasent thought and paranoia…i am not paranoid but i suffer a lot…cuz sz is really tuff…i am going for a walk.
Catch u latet…
I’m sorry you are going through this. I’m also on zyprexa and also find it doesn’t help that much with my paranoia, only my delusions. The two can sometimes go hand in hand. Like before I would have a paranoid thought and my delusions would feed it into this massive, intricate conspiracy. On the zyprexa, I can sort of go ‘slow down partner’ to my delusions.
But the actual paranoia, like noticing that a car is for some reason driving really slowly by my house and finding it suspicious, doesn’t actually go away. For instance, I spent a good deal of last night lying in bed listening for people trying to break into the house because I heard a noise.
If you are stable enough, you might want to consider trying another med. I tried several but had to go back to Zyprexa because nothing that I’ve tried so far really worked. I’m going to eventually try and change psychiatrists and find one who actually gives a crap lol.
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sorry to hear that you struggle too… But I spent so much time alone and afraid from everything that now my thoughts are confused. I am afraid to even think sometimes… Are you like this @Futomimi? Dont you think that meds can help us if we stay on them long enough? My illness is from more than 2 decades. its been an year that I am on Zyprexa so maybe its not enough for it to help… No other ap got me out from the bed so I need my Zyprexa though… Sometimes it just feels like I am afraid that other are afraid from me so I became quite social avoidant type… And I am not ‘‘free’’ when I socialize. like I said, at my worst, I say things but I always think that I say some crazy or inappropriate stuff 
. Its like I am walking on egg shells and its a hellish damn thing .
@Anna1 I can totally relate to what your saying. I have the same issues that want to make me sink into the floor forever. I have to put it out of my mind or it will be emotionally distressing for me. I also worry i may scare people or they may attack me so i avoid people also. It gets me down. I have hope it will improve but not much. A year on a med is enough, maybe book to get a review. Peace
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Why are you and your mom screaning at each other? That’s not good, that’s a high stress environment.
Ill try to be nicer to her in the future. But when I am at my worse, I say to her that she doesn’t care about my health… It looks to me that she gave up in a way. She often says that ill never have a family, or a job or friends cause ive been ill too long and I missed too much…
I feel u. The meds don’t do much for my paranoia either. I’m able to recognize it for what it is, but it’s still there.
I hate paranoia. That is something I struggle with everyday. I hope you find some relief soon. Take it easy. Rox
(sorry for the late reply)
No, I totally agree that it can be different for you. Zyprexa might help you in ways it doesn’t help me. That is part of the wonder and horror that is antipsychotics. Definitely do not give up on using it or upping the dose if you and your doctor think it will help.
I am a huge proponent of always taking meds. I’ve only been schizophrenic for ten years but Zyprexa has helped me immensely. It just, personally doesn’t help my paranoia. I’m very social phobic. I only have contact with one person, sometimes rarely a second person, and then my doctors. But that is because, for some reason, the one delusion it can’t help me with is that I feel my thoughts are leaking and people can read them. And I personally believe that is somehow deeply connected to my paranoia. But the 1.5 people I do socialize with, I’m pretty okay with. I think part of it is because I really trust them.
I hope that you find some people you can really trust so that way, even if you do sometimes say inappropriate stuff, they will understand and not care.
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I suffered from terrible paranoia for 33 years. I didn’t get better until my pdoc put me on three different anti psychotic medications, simultaneously. Maybe that is what it will take for you too.
Time doesn’t always heal severe paranoia. Sometimes it takes serious medication regimens.
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ok, i see, thanks gina… But i struggle a lot already to be on one ap… It puts me in bad states. after it take, it gives me a terrible depression. I cant imagine one more ap… Paranoia is awful to live with for me and everybody around me i find… My doc says that i cant think well because of the paranoid thoughts. Did your emotions got better after your paranoia decreased, gina?
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Yes, my depressed emotions got a lot better after my paranoia lifted. A lot of my depression was caused by the paranoia. So, when the paranoia disappeared, the depression went also.
That what iam trying to say gina…yes it needs proper medication. . U are cent percent right…thanks for heads up my woman ginalove…
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yeah, i think its my case a bit too. But after one year on Zyprexa i see a bit of improvement on my Zyprexa. Ill try to stay on it and not to have another ap… It will be tough to be on more than one med… I have Depakote as well too but this is another story… its for my rage i guess etc…
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I guess I’m quite blessed to have a high medication tolerance.
@Anna1, have you tried a depot injectable AP medication? A lot of times these work much better than the oral meds.
I am very med sensible gina. I am compliant to meds but the depot injections doesn’t work well on me… they just put me in bizarre states for one month which i cant handle. dont worry, i think i have a progress with the Zyprexa but idk. My doc says sometimes it takes years to recover…
Do you live alone Gina? Me, yes, its tough, this is the toughest part but i couldn’t have handled anybody for longtime cause i am socially anxious… i can get anxious even from my mom sometimes.
Meds don’t make paranoia dissapear for the same reason diet pills don’t make you thin.
Diet pills can decrease your appetite, but you still have to eat less and increase your activity to lose weight.
Meds can help change your feelings, which in return can help change your thinking.
What you think will show up on your face and in your body language, which others pick up on, even if they aren’t aware of doing it.
It’s the natural way humans interact with others.
Maybe you could learn some of the behaviors that project confidence(even if just for show) that can put others at ease when around you.
All those years of isolation kept you from picking up the natural behaviors necessary to interact with others in a healthy way.
You can learn this, it’s not like there is a cutoff age that prevents you from having a better life, but it’s not going to come from a “magic meds” pill. It requires effort on your part, and a willingness to not give up on yourself.