For better or worse... pondering

I’ve been reading a lot a people on the forum who are determined to stick with their significant other through the bad as well as the good. I’m wondering if that is a sign of the times. As mental illness is better understood, our loved ones don’t bail as quickly.

There was a period there were divorce was at a drop of a hat. I was hearing of my parents friends getting divorced over things like “too much football watching” “snoring” “ugly socks” and “didn’t like her pet”

For a while, my parents were considered very weird because they are still together. There were some hard years during my worst and there were some tears, but they stuck it out and are still very much together today.

When I see people on the forum who are 18, 20, and so on, and they are determined to stick it out, I’m wondering what is this saying about the state of things. Are people more optimistic? Are they more giving? Am I just seeing a tiny section not representing the norm? Or is it a sign of healing?

I’d like to take it as a sign of healing. When I wasn’t doing well, I broke and threw away two relationships that could have been very good to me. I’ve been lucky and dodged a bullet of three bad ones. But there were two I regret messing up.

There are so many older articles that state that people with mental illness don’t often have any relationships much less marry. But on this forum, I see something vastly different. More and more people are popping up as having been married, or sticking through the hard times recently.

Maybe now that I’m doing better, I’m more of an optimist and it’s just the illusion of rose colored glasses.

What do others think? Are things getting better or worse?


I think maybe you are seeing things in a way that reflect your own optimism. :smile:


I think people get married too soon. My shrink says it takes 2 years for the brain to leave the infatuation stage and actually become a person to person (not peg in hole) relationship.


So you used to be a pessimist?great for the change and congratulation,I always thought it’s impossible to change from a pessimist to optimist

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There was a time I was a huge pessimist. I was angry and paranoid and confused and I felt horrid everyday. I wasn’t very stable and I didn’t think I had much to be happy about.

My kid sis was about 14 or 15 when she moved in with me to my apartment and she is the most optimistic person in the universe. Sometimes it was almost annoying how optimistic and good witch Glenda she was. But little by little I think her optimism sort of started to have an effect.

I also changed when I was out of negative symptoms and got out of my depression and as I’ve been getting healthier I’ve been feeling better and that has helped the optimism.

It might take a while, but I do believe it’s possible to change.


when I got married to my husband nearly two years ago, we were almost strangers. But as the time went by, I grew to love him more and more. Now I can’t live without him, I need him so much and love him to the end of time. As he grew to understand my mental illness, he became more tolerant and understanding, so we work as a team now and get along very well. We argue much less now than ever before.

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