Well spent a little time with my husband and it left me confused. I don’t know whether to run for the hills or stay. Like today it kinda felt like maybe he is trying to change. I kinda was able to see he gets hurt by me. This is scary kind of made me realize my delusions more. It’s weird scared kinda lost. Apart of me wants to run for the hills another part wants to be like he loves you he’s changed he sees how he has hurt you and now you can relax and have someone take care of you and be myself no worries etc. but another part is like nope it’s a trick he will go right back and things will be back unstable and scary and you don’t know when he will start flipping on you and being ugly again and say he wants someone normal like before. Then I will have to worry about being homeless on the street talking to my self and he living the life with another woman. As much as I see change it’s scary he might go back or just being nice right now. He might have alterior motives. because he don’t want to deal with illness and issues. But then maybe I’m wrong. It’s literally asking me a person that’s paranoid to put your life in someone else hands and truly trust they will actually do right by you and not hurt you seriously hurt you. I can’t get the thought out of my head of the lady pushing the buggies and screaming at people down the street and living out of a card board box.
Being homeless is one of my worse fears.
Sounds like you need to ask yourself what do you want, not how or plan but what do you want and then ask your spouse if he wants the same. I knew when I wanted a divorce and tried so hard to make it work, but it takes 2 to make a relationship and to be on the same page. What are your top standards in a relationship and are they met? Examples: trust communication and committed. When you know what you want and he knows then make plans as to where you will live. A bad relationship doesn’t have to own your future.
I just wanted respect and understanding. I don’t want anyone to disrespect me and my illness. I want to be loved and accepted my way of living and how I am a person that goes with the flow and is happy no screaming and arguing or putting me down for what I don’t know or catch on to or get mad at me voicing my delusions just accept chill and be happy with me not need other people living with us and not telling me I’m not enough to meet your need.
Today it was chill. I wish everyday was like today just chill just be happy accept life as be and be happy with us individually. I wish I can just be me and not have to worry about being hurt being me. Have someone take care of me and I take care of them.
Hope your marriage will feel happier and better for you .
Maybe you can do talk…I can not talk to my man cause he just says I am delusional and etc
It is awesome to take care of each other and be kind and thoughtful to each other.
You said you want respect…
Me too.
I want to marry my man and spend the rest of my life with him.
He is a great partner and I am happy with him and we are good to each other and for each other too I reckon.
Ever since I moved here I have felt bad energy from his friends and family .
I did not feel welcome despite I moved here by myself not knowing anyone but my boyfriend until my neigh came.
They saw I was vulnerable and they used it against me from the start.
I do not share their morals or beliefs.
They think they are all superior to me and try bossing me around but can seem insecure.
They do not treat me with respect but talk down at me and are threatening and hostile to me and incredibly rude.
Ever since I moved here I have felt that if we broke up it would probably be because of his family and friends and how badly they can behave and that he lets them disrespect me and tells ME to apologise to them for reasons not hat THEY should apologise to me.
To keep the peace I apologised for their wrong doings to me.
Still to be his day I worry his friends and family will break us up.
They should be ashamed of themselves for treating me badly.
I was always disrespected and bullied and as a 40 year old …
It’s tragic to me.
I want to be treated better.
I do not think I deserve it I KNOW I should be treated much better.
I adore my man.
His smell and taste is home for me and he is a great partner except for this…
He does not defend me or tell them to treat me better (he could of but not that I know if)
I can not stand dinners with them specially with people who attack me with nasty vibes and comments.
If I am going to spend the rest of my life with him something should change.
I rather be alone than with people who treat me badly …
My boyfriend treats me well and every day pretty much I pray saying thank you for him and my holy neigh etc
I do not belong to any religion though.
I am so thankful but is he thankful for me?
Now he is unwell and they might say it’s my fault for stressing him but having family have cancer can be stressful too specially if they are very close.
I have changed and am a better person now and more like my self.
No alcohol helped that a lot.
I pray for our relationship and that it can survive all these things.
Specially his friends and family which I have seen as the biggest threat …
I plan on improving myself inside and out for the better.
I want to be good to and for him .
I want to be in holy sacred union marriage to him.
He is not well and I do not know how to help him.
His x is educated homo/nature path and his friends like her …
I pray for him and that our relationship can get through this and that they will treat me better etc
Sorry
Lol I started blabbering about my relationship here…
I do wish you and your husband well and if doable overcome such difficulties…
Yea the same he hides mine so never had anything like that happen. Just when he’s upset he says he wants a normal women he can joke laugh etc with. That comment and many more is why I have hard time relaxing and trusting him. He don’t like me so why make myself vulnerable to someone That let’s you know they don’t like you and wish you was someone else. Why stay married what’s the reason is it just financial gain. Are you just going to use me and start another life.? If so just leave me now cut ties start another life with that girl you actually want don’t use me financially:
I know nil about relationships except I know that acceptance is a must. For me acceptance is a huge part of feeling loved. I really don’t know what to say though. I hope you can find meds that really help your delusions.
Yea all i ever wanted was acceptance and love and i didnt feel that in my marriage because of the things he would say which is very stressful so instead of feeling safe and happy and focusing on good now i have high anxiety i am stressed constantly worried about when he will leave and screw me over just because of money. I say this because i cant think of any other reason to why he would stay if he really truly meant all the things he said. Most pf pur arguments come from him not accepting me or my coondition.
I’m sorry you’re going through that. Never really been in a relationship but I’ve felt like people I know wouldn’t accept me if I told them about being Schizoaffective before and like people don’t understand some of my symptoms. I guess I feel being sick and the things that go with it are a big part of why I don’t pursue relationships right now and haven’t in years.
It feels bad to know that if someone did love me, I know I couldn’t be much of a provider for them. Even though with other people I don’t expect them to adhere to traditional gender roles.
Sometimes people say cruel things and that’s sad. Do you have any friends or family you could stay with if things do get bad? I’m not around you or your husband, to really understand the situation, but perhaps if you could prepare for if things did get as bad as you think they could, if nothing else, might make you feel more secure.
Yes i moved into my own place me and the kids just for this reason. Although he wants to work things out i dont want to go back to this situation not accepting me and loving me and then flipping out and saying hurtful and ugly things bickering and fighting mistrust and unhappiness. Plus rasing two small kids who are being affected by it. I think for having my diagnosis i have been coping and dealing with it well. Just fear if i did decide to thunk about working it out it will be worse and possibly end with me being homless and sick.
Yes, it sounds like you are doing good for yourself. It sounds like you’re a little conflicted. Like I said before I know nothing about relationships, but from what you’re saying it seems like perhaps it would be a bad idea to rush things I hope you are finding some support, anyway. Sometime it helps me feel a little better just to talk about things…
Yes i am conflicted on these issues. Especially with constant changing attitudes and behaviors.
How are you feeling about your sexuality? I thought you said you had realized you were a lesbian, no? Am I missing something?
Yes still like girls if I decide not to go forward because of everything that is my preference. Not interested in men. I just have a lot of history with him.
I think I made that clear in my post?
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