As of recently, more specifically since my diagnosis, I feel unwanted by almost everyone. The only people I feel actually care about me are my mom and an online friend I’ve know for 5 years. Seems like I’m just the unwanted family member that gets tolerated. I try to talk or express my thoughts/feelings about something, both positive and negative, and it never gets acknowledged. I get talked over. I just feel like no one except those two people care. I know I’ve put my family through some hard times with my illness, but I apologized every time. It hurts knowing my own sister doesn’t even want to take the time to just talk. It hurts feeling like my opinions don’t matter. I know I’ve let almost all of them down, and I hate myself for that.
TL;DR: I’m tired of feeling unwanted.
I apologized for things I’ve said while manic. Those things definitely deserved apologies.
Sorry to hear that @Dreamer.
Maybe your sister doesn’t even know you feel this way. Have you flat out told her that you don’t really feel listened to anymore??
I kinda went through this feeling alittle while after I got diagnosed. My mom has always been a strong support for me once I got diagnosed but the others in my life I have just completely lost contact with. I just feel like I don’t fit in with my friends anymore and I am frustrated because this illness has such negative stigma.
My saving grace has been my support groups. It is soo good to get bottled up feelings off my chest at these groups. I have joined multiple groups and have started a cooking class and a drop in(craft/project)class at a disability center. If you are frustrated enough, maybe you might try to look into a support group.
I haven’t told her directly, no. But when I try to talk to her she gets this annoyed look and tone of voice so I just cut what I have to say short. I’ve been diagnosed for 8 years and this is how I’ve felt ever since. I talk about it in therapy.
I’m actually looking at joining a NAMI group soon. Need to call them Monday.
That sucks but I can relate. I think people don’t want to engage with me because I’m difficult to understand (because of communication) and they feel uncomfortable. It’s not good and it does hurt a lot, especially when people try to reach out to me and I still can’t communicate well, but I try my best not to blame them and to work on getting better myself. That’s not to say that sometimes people aren’t just not interested for their own reasons. Try to communicate how you are feeling as clearly as possible and see if she takes the time to understand. If she doesn’t then there’s nothing you can do, which would hurt I’m sure especially coming from your sister, but at least you’ll know it’s not your fault and you can try and work past it. If she does understand then you can start to build your relationship with her again. Hope this helps.
I also think you should just talk to your sister about how you feel. It may be a difficult conversation but it’s probably one worth having. Maybe she’s not aware of how you feel. Maybe it’s something that you two can work through. I wish you the best in reaching out to her, if you choose to do that.
My brother in really sorry to hear youre going through a rough patch. Maybe its just a depressive phase? I dont know, but one thing i do know is that things will get better. Sunset, sunrise. It might rain for a week but the next the sun comes out. Stay persistant, no struggle is more than you can handle. Love you bro, youre gonna get thru this
I have a sister who has always mistreated me. At one point I tried to talk to her and even apologize for anything I may have done wrong, but she wasn’t receptive at all. At that point I decided to let her go from my life. I don’t call her, I don’t talk to her. I just avoid her. I treat her like a stranger. I’m cordial and never mean, but I’ve let the possibility of sisterhood or friendship go. I focus on other people in my life. She rejected me, but I decided to stop being angry or hurt. I just let it go. I feel much better now.
Thank you all for the support and helpful ideas. I’ll try talking with her and some other family members that make me feel this way. Hoping for a good conversation and some understanding between us.
You articulate your heartache so well. I often want to cry when I read your posts about your struggles. I can’t imagine the loneliness you feel. I’m sure it’s accompanied by longing, regret, and jealousy. I can echo what’s been said here. I’m sure you’ve tried your hardest. You would take it all away if you could. Speak with your family members if you can, and if you can’t, write them letters.
Explain to them
- The kind of relationship you want to have with them
- The impact your illness has on your relationships
- The impact any poor choices has on your relationships
- The impact their choices has on your relationships
- Any regrets, longings, and fears
- the steps you have taken and are willing to take to restore your relationships
Hoping the best for you!
Thank you Louise. I’m going to figure something out as far as what I want to say. Hopefully it goes well. Tired of feeling so lonely.
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