Feeling Shaken Up

This isn’t related to my diagnosis. I can’t say much about it, but yesterday my friend and his family convinced me to drive him two hours away for an interview with a homicide investigator about what happened to his cousin. I’m very shaken up about it, because I didn’t know the cop was going to try and have me testify for being with my friend one night almost three days before she died. I’ve decided to stop talking to my friend for awhile until things are resolved, as it is overwhelming me a lot. I blocked him on my phone because I am avoiding him after that. The thing that bothered me was the cop called him out on distorting information, he said one thing and I said another, and I think my friend is lying about stuff. That scares me because I don’t know what really happened. I don’t know what all his witness statements or testimonies said, and I only wrote one witness statement. Then the cop recorded me on his phone talking about the last night I saw her before she died, and the rest I won’t divulge.

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Sorry StarryNight, I am afraid of policeman and courts.

I once got a jury summons and its very hard to get out of around here. But my pdoc said you don’t have to do that and wrote a note that got me off. Can you talk to your pdoc about all this?
Hoping you find peace on this matter…

I had an appointment today but my psychiatrist canceled, probably because it’s a holiday.

Yes MLK, there was no one on the road made for a great commute.
Hope you get another soon.

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Thanks, yeah I’m not that upset. I think the doctors should be fined just the same as us though when they cancel. He probably forgot it was a holiday. This has happened about six times with various doctors though, getting a cancellation an hour before the appointment when I have to give 48 hours notice.

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**That sounds a little scary having to deal with the cops.
Hope you can stay out of it.
You`re right about the doctors being charged! :smile: **

I know. It’s difficult to deal with. I’m getting very confused. My mind is racing. I’ve never been more upset. The worst part is how my father reacted to me trying to be a supportive friend and win the case against the murderer by telling the truth and interviewing for the murder case. I was interrogated by a homicide detective, who was grilling us both and grilling my friend over it. So I decided to just block him so that I wouldn’t say anything to upset him. We both didn’t talk to eachother the next day, but we are with each other almost every day. He doesn’t do drugs anymore. He had a problem but he quit. Another issue is I have high anxiety and I think I have a nerve disorder, but my psychiatrist won’t give me xanax but I need something to numb the pain. I don’t abuse drugs and never actually had a problem. My only real issue was being drawn into it, letting people walk all over me, and not standing my ground. When I fought with my friend, I realized we were both angry at eachother about similar but different things. We were just angry about what happened.

The cop made us feel horrible!! When he snapped at me and said, “I know you must’ve known what that pill was” then he said that I was a drug user. I’ve never been told I was a drug user. I am so angry, they are supposed to be defending us against a murderer who killed someone by overdosing her with drugs against her will. But he didn’t even bring up the entire subject. My friend was so upset that he couldn’t even talk about it. The cop wanted us to both take lie detector tests. So we are with the state, they are on our side. We are trying to prosecute a sick evil twisted ■■■■. I was with my friend every day after we left the situation, and he never went back and he never broke into the safe because he’s not stupid. But the cop was accusing him of what the defense would accuse him of, so I guess it could be necessary? but it upset me. I know that my friend Jorey had nothing to do with what happened to her and did not break into the man’s safe, because her killer was up to something and I left because I thought we were all going to die on one hand, and on another I was also just as concerned that I shouldn’t leave, but a part of me just thought it would be ok. I know drugs are not ok. But her cousin is my best friend now, and the reason I feel guilty is because he wanted to stay and make sure she was ok, but I persisted on saying we should leave now, even when a part of me was thinking I was being irrational. My dad is trying to make me feel like a victim and so overprotective he yelled at me and terrorized me for going there to interview with the homicide detective. LIKE WHAT THE ■■■■ DO YOU KNOW HOW TRAUMATIZING THAT IS? I LOST A FRIEND! He acted like my friends are just selfish junkies to please his delusional reality. Sure we fight, because we’re human. We don’t hide our ■■■■■■■ emotions. So maybe I’m a bit upset because my dad doesn’t accept one of my best friends, basically shuns all my friends and never lets them over. I WANT TO ■■■■■■■ MOVE NOW.

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StarryNight you are stronger than me. I would have snapped. Maybe you should tell them about your illness.? I usually never tell anyone in real life ever. But maybe if they knew they wouldn’t be hard on you and treat you a little different? And does your pdoc know what you are dealing with before she/he denies Xanax?

Years ago Police were your friends. But now there is so much bad ■■■■ in the world that the cops have to be tough because they deal with criminals that want to kill them all the time. That would warp my personality for sure.

Take care, Huggggggggs

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Yeah it’s intense. I just need to step back, breathe, and not think or dwell.

Wow, that’s a lot to deal with @starrynight, hope you can take that deap breath an relax some…wish I could make you a nice hot cup of tea, or cocoa with those little marshmellows in it.

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