Lately I’ve been surrounded by friends and family a lot. They keep telling me to get back on my feet. But I’m very scared.
I can’t tell if its me or my illness, but it makes me scared to think that everyone cares so much about me. I have intrusive thoughts that tell me to isolate myself. To get away. I’m not really the same as I was before I got ill. I feel as though they waste their time on me.
Does it bother you when the people show concern about you? I must sound silly asking that question. I just don’t feel that I can be like I was before. And I can’t get it out of my head that I need to be alone.
Give yourself a break. I can see you really feel scared. In my own case I feel plain lucky that my family supports me. Isn’t it a good feeling to talk to people you can trust? I go to work all day and put up with everybody’s crap. Everybody there has an angle.They all force their “trips” on me. I just LOVE picking up the phone and talking to people I know who have no ulterior motives towards me. They don’t want power over me. They’re not trying to scare me or make me look bad. They just want the best for me. You don’t realize I guess that you have it made.
Yeah, me either.
But I’m 53 years old. Right now my older sister is on vacation in Mexico and I’m taking care of her dog in my own place for two weeks and tomorrow I will drive over to her apartment and water her plants. Things have a way of evening out sometimes.
As a mother… If your family is showing concern for you it is because they care and therefor think that you are worth caring for. They don’t feel like they are wasting their time or they probably wouldn’t do it.
No one is who they were yesterday or last year. You don’t need to be who you used to be.
There was a time when I was bothered and would hate the fact that my family was showing concern. It sort of highlighted the feeling that they thought something was wrong with me.
I was going through some very dark thinking then and it just felt like the concern was just more focus on my illness and not me. If that makes any sense.
They would try to accommodate me and do stuff that the docs said and it just didn’t feel like my family any more. Or rather, I didn’t feel like family anymore. It felt like they were dealing with this mask that had been put on me and couldn’t see the old me under that mask.
I know it has to happen, and many helpful things have come out of my preservation team meeting… but I still don’t really like them. None of my siblings have to have a preservation team meeting and talk meds and check in on an illness. It’s a huge cold thorn of a reminder that I’m not perfectly healthy.
But these days… I cringe a bit when the family concern amps up… I’m still very grateful I have them on my side. It gives me confidence. If I crumble and relapse… I won’t be unsupported.
Yes, it totally bothers me. I feel like it’s a weight on me. The more invested they are the worse it’ll be if it doesn’t work out well and I withdraw further from people to avoid that burden of their emotions at me.
I know that’s unhealthy thinking, but it’s definitely my default. I’m trying to work on it. Keep in mind that they’re making choices, too. The choice to be around.
It is difficult to coop with supportive people who wants you back on feet when all you want to do and certain can only do is isolate yourself, how to become something very different than what you are now. Imagine your life without them! it is dull.
Move out go to gym and workout read more about your illness and try to accept the fact that this is your life now so you have to coop. Best wishes. I was there one day stay strong. Take care
I understand that feeling. I have always wished that my son had more people around him. Really, sometimes I think he wants to be left alone.
When you have isolated yourself for a long period, it takes a while to get used to having people around. You can still take a break when ever you want to.
I have lived alone for a long time–I can`t imagine having someone around all the time. As long as you can get some downtime by yourself-you will be great.