Like another poster here posted , I also at times feel I faked the bipolar side of things. I firmly believe I had psychosis though. But sometimes I doubt the sz dx and sometimes I am adamant I have it.
I mean after my first psychosis I went 10 years before I had another episode. But that was because the pros took me off the antipsychotic and put me solely on an antidepressant which led to a second psychosis (I’m sure you’ve heard this before )…
I’m still fed up of not having answers because I struggle to hold down a job. I think if I knew what I was dealing with I’d be happier and learn ways to deal with it.
At the same time finding a name for it probably won’t solve things but make me worry more and not accept it even more … Such a dilemma.
Its common. Alot of people when they are feeling well, feel they “faked it all”, and stop taking the meds, only to relapse. People simply got to be med compliant - whether your feeling well or not.
I feel that way, too. I was thinking, earlier, that I must be very manipulative or maybe have something like Munchausen’s. The first time I saw a demon, the pdoc I was seeing asked me to bring my hubby into our session then told me that I needed to discuss how my behavior was affecting my family. Another pdoc told me I was lazy. The third I went to just kept trying to hospitalize me in the state facility he was associated at. Only my current pdoc ever listened. But how do I know I wasn’t making it up? I haven’t been seeing or hearing anything lately.
To be completely frank occasionally I wonder if my diagnosis of schizophrenia may be incorrect as well. Mostly because I appeared to have only delusions and no other positive symptoms. The dsm5 requires two positive symptoms for diagnosis. THe old diagnostic criteria used to be if delusions were “bizarre enough”, or something to that effect, but based on new diagnosing criteria, I’m not sure I would qualify. That and the fact that I do so well on low dose antipsychotics with no symptoms.
I definitely have some kind of psychotic disorder, though. I probably have schizophrenia.
Psychiatrists are sometimes wrong, but I believe that they are usually correct.
I usually have serious doubts about peoples beliefs when they say they wonder if they were “faking it” though. I would think you would know if you intentionally faked symptoms.
I know that I wasnt faking it, just sometimes wonder if I have been diagnosed with wrong psychotic disorder.
Actually, i think people think they were faking it - simply because they don’t want to come to terms with actually how bloody ill they were, i think its a defence mechanism.
I mean come on - your hardly gonna be able to con a consultant shrink are you
Yeah, I’m not saying that I don’t believe they THINK they were faking. I’m saying that I doubt that they WERE faking it if they arent sure that they were.
I doubt the opposite of you, @Naarai. I’ve seen bipolar symptoms since I was about 19. The schizophrenia portion is what I doubt. Am I sure I saw a demon there, or was it a trick my mind played after a scary commercial? Did I really hear men downstairs, or were men outside sometimes? I feel very strongly that I cannot trust myself.
Even though they changed the meds it’s probably more indicitive that you were psychotic again. If you weren’t on the spectrum as they say you probably wouldn’t have relapsed. Yeah labels help to define symptoms and treatments but multiple incidences of psychosis means you most likely have sz or similar.
Function is the key. I can’t work and it’s obvious with my symptoms I’ve sz.
I think I exaggerated my symptoms. I don’t think my pdoc saw me in a manic episode ever unless my time in the hospital revealed anything of the sort. My “symptoms” of spending a lot probably was me overthinking my symptoms. I mean people do spend on things every now and then ?
I can share some of my illness with you if your experience doesn’t feel authentic enough. I apologize in advance for any anal probes - the aliens have no sense of decency.
