Feeling like crap!

Now that I am back on the higher dose of meds I feel absolutely crap about the things I’ve said at work. Today I asked for my manager to see if I can go part-time. Okay, she seemed okay with it but she needs to discuss it with her manager… I feel like I am a burden on these people and I am asking for too much. They despise me. If they are having a very bad day maybe nothing to do with me I will take it personally. And I am assuming this is parania but the nurse did not think so.

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one of the reason i gave up working was because of arseholes, trying undermind me, bullying, so i said to myself fook it and gave up working

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There is an extra amount of workload to be delegated if they OK your request for part-time. This is a typical work place issue: numerous individuals ask for different arrangements once employed. This is where you have to be firm and focus on your leveraging abilities.

I am confused about the last statement in your post. You assume a case of paranoia needs to be dealt with regarding this matter but your nurse does not. Did you explain to your nurse that you take it personally if they are having a bad day even though their problems have nothing to do with you?

You said they acted normal the other day.

When you discuss work place issues, how is the feedback between you and them?

The final product of your work or phases of work, are you getting credit for your work?

You’re feeling like crap and probably don’t want to think about it. I always ask a lot of questions.

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@anon80629714 Try not to be so hard on yourself - I am sure that things will get straightened out at work soon, if they are not already.
When I lowered my meds - my moods were everywhere, we live and learn.
It will take a couple more weeks before the higher dose starts to really kick in - in the meantime I am sure that you will start to feel better.
Work can become a very stressful, toxic environment for those of us suffering from a severe mental illness - the trick is to let things go more, and you will once you are more stable on your higher dose.
Best of luck to you!

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For instance, if their tone of voice is low or they don’t seem to smile I take it personally when it maybe that they are having a bad day and its nothing to do with me. I feel it maybe something I did wrong because I never get anything right anyway and I feel bad.

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I have worked around so many lazy folks that I do not focus on their moods. I go to work, I do my job. Some nurses have discussed personal problems on their cell phones while working directly with elderly folks. Some co-workers attempt to pass their workloads onto others. I like who I serve, so I respect them. (Now though I work directly with folks who have autism.) Many of the people I have worked around do not smile. Those of us who do count on one another.

One self confident look given time and time again, will send a message that you are confident with your own workmanship if indeed you are.

These individuals you work with, do they meet the mark all of the time?

If you were getting everything wrong all of the time, whether in an office or in the field, your manager would either write you up or recommend you seek another position. If you have not been told this, then your work performance meets the criteria of your job description.

Some of the things I’ve said and done when I was off my med’s make me cringe. I know it can be hard when your co-workers turn against you. Only you know how much you can stand.

http://visualhints.com/galleries/the-power-of-nature/

I found something that is rare and eye catching that just might lift you up.

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bug :bug: hug.
take care :alien:
p.s you are brilliant like a shooting star :stars:

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Accomonidations are a right. If you need to go part time, I don’t think they can refuse you.

I often read too much into what people say it how they say it. Try not to take it personally.

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workplace bullying is so wrong sadly it does happen report it.

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Ish, I feel that I put up with other peoples crap all day at work. I’m probably reading all the situations wrong. Maybe so are you. If you think people are thinking bad things about you or gossiping but then later they give you a big sincere smile, chances are that they are NOT bugging you and they don’t hate you. I know how it goes. I realize at work that everybody is in their own world and they look at things their way. If I’m paranoid and unhappy and feel like crap all day and I think every-bodies putting me down, sometimes I see that it isn’t THEIR crap that’s making me feel bad. It’s my own crap and I’m just projecting my own problems with myself and my state of mind on others and I assume that everybody is against me. There’s one guy I work with who has a bad temper. I also always suspect that he is laughing at me or putting me down. But after work on Friday we were walking to our respective cars talking and he invited me to do something this weekend! You could have knocked me over with a feather. He didn’t sound like someone who is against me. I’m not saying your co-workers are perfect or that we are perfect but putting up with SOME crap is part of work and it is normal. Like you said on a previous post, You are your own worst enemy and your own greatest critic. If you’re lucky, you can change that. Maybe part-time work is the way to go for you. I only work part-time, I have been for years.

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Good luck on work,don’t think too much and continue your way of work unless it’s extremely unbearable…maybe you need someone to talk to when your feeling down,maybe go to a psychotherapy?

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I know it’s hard enough dealing with our personal issues while at work. . I don’t know how much your internalizing your problems, I found a lot of times people reacted to how you looked or acted around them. If I smiled, more people around me smiled…I wouldn’t let it get too to you too much I know that’s hard for you to do, but if you dwell on it too long it always turns out worse than it is in reality. Just take a step away and let the cards lie where they fall. There’s not much else you can do. Maybe your boss wasn’t aware of any external attitude she was giving off when she talked with you, or her boss was giving her a hard time so she switched it around to give you a hard time…that happens.

I don’t know if it’s appropriate to share my experience as to why I gave up working or not so I’m just including it at the bottom, you can read below the line if you want.
:sunrise_over_mountains::sunrise_over_mountains::sunrise_over_mountains::sunrise_over_mountains::sunrise_over_mountains::sunrise_over_mountains::sunrise_over_mountains::sunrise_over_mountains::sunrise_over_mountains::sunrise_over_mountains::sunrise_over_mountains::sunrise_over_mountains::sunrise_over_mountains::sunrise_over_mountains::sunrise_over_mountains:
I was battling hard every day to ignore my schizophrenia but near the end I couldn’t help myself from feeling targeted and I don’t know if bullied is the right word. I knew that place was bad with “cliques” it was like working in a high school lunch room. I used to never let it bother me.

Then they started to include me in their lunches and stuff and I felt like I was starting to fit in, though I really didn’t want to because these women were grumpy all the time, hated their job, and constantly talking about religion. Not that I have a problem with religion, I’m Catholic but to me I think it should be left out of the work place. But if I said anything I knew they would know it was me, because with them it was always “the new people”, and things would get worse.

So I kept my head down and bit my tongue but I was getting so over-stressed and really starting to lose my balance and I question if some of the things I’d think (like if the women were in a small group and whispering, in plain site of me but quiet enough so I couldn’t hear them if they were talking about me because they’d look up every now and again and look at me).Then they would set up pot-luck type lunches without talking to me and I’d be left out then they’d still ask if I wanted to sit with them while I had my PBJ sandwich and handful of chips while they were eating things like re-heated chili, spaghetti, pizza and whatnot. But then they’d talk so I know I could hear and say things like she thinks she’s too good to sit with us…

I kept my illness private, I didn’t want anyone knowing I was schizo, but I think near the end I wasn’t as strong as I thought I was. But some things I knew that was happening I know wasn’t just me because others were beginning to complain as well. Rather than have managers, we had team-leaders in charge of certain groups…and our team-leader would keep the easiest work to herself and her closest friends and give everything else to us. Then she was also giving us work we weren’t supposed to be doing, and if we screwed up we would still wind up getting yelled at. And she was the kind of woman, if she was in a bad mood she made sure everyone around her knew it, and in turn would make them feel the same way.

So if that wasn’t stressful enough I had some personal things outside of work affecting me at the time, and we were working crazy 7 days a week, full 8 hour shifts (opening tax mail for the IRS) during the third quarter (June). So naturally when there rumors about an outbreak of something in the building I freaked out and started having panic attacks every night keeping me awake…I had to eventually quit because I couldn’t manage the schedule and the panic attacks were so bad I was considering being checked into a hospital. I eventually got things calmed down, the panic attacks stopped and considered going back but figured that the work flow would be the same, and the people were still there and it wasn’t healthy for me.

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There is no bullying involved I know this is me. But I can’t help feeling the need to quit. This morning I swear I heard a voice my mum was with me and my she said she didn’t say anything.

When I strongly felt the need to quit a job, I did. Sometimes it felt a little shocking. A Great Relief was felt most of the time.

I used to feel that way when I was ill. I was on stelazine 5 mg and it didn’t do much. I had paranoia and depression
Seroxat helped things change I felt a lot better on it
Maybe it’s time to move on and get yourself feeling well before you embark on paid work. I don’t know your age but if you are young u have time on your side
See doc, get your meds right try therapy
Take some time out and then maybe go for part time work

I wish I could just quit however I have a share in a house to pay for and my parents won’t let me quit.

When I was feeling very down,I had huge urge to quit also but I just don’t know where to go and what to do…so I never quit,the quitting urge which always accompanied by depress mood/mania had happened 3 times since I was diagnosed…I hope it will never happen again,not because of the quitting urge but because of the mental torture

Have you tried any kind of governmental support? I collect SSI, and have medicare for health-care. I’m not sure where you live, and if you have access to that…my doctor was a big help in getting the support from me telling the people looking into my case that I couldn’t work under my conditions. If you think you really need to quit listen to your gut. I also started working once at a grocery store, but after a week I had to quit because I felt the same build up that I had at the other place and I could feel the panic attacks building inside of me.