Feel like I can never socialize

A lot of times I feel like I’m cosmically not supposed to have a decent social life and it feels pretty crappy. I’m shy and it’s hard to tell when someone is serious or playfully joking or actually screwing with me. I normally spend my time alone and I enjoy my solitude Im naturally an introvert but I’ve felt these past couple of years I’ve spent too much time alone. I see other college kids doing there thing and always in groups and I wish I had that again like I did in high school. It feels like I’ve lost a piece of myself over the past few years. Part of me wants to have the close group of friends and gf again but another part says i should just give up and learn to live in isolation. But we are social animals at our primal instinct or whatever so I sometimes feel terrible. One thing I notice is a lot of conversation between other people is gossip about someone else, like different judgements they have toward another person and what they are doing in a negative way. I don’t enjoy it really and it turns me off of a conversation, but why do so many people do it, its like I almost never hear lighthearted fun conversation that feels inclusive? Maybe I’m just soft is the problem.

I know how you feel. I have the same problem with some of the male clients at the activity centre I go to. I’m noticing it in other areas as well. It’s hard to talk to anyone about important issues in the world abroad. There’s just a lack of sufficient substance in the world, especially TV. I also think I’m rather soft, but we can’t shoulder the blame completely in a world that is becoming increasingly distressing and vapid.

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Whenever I use the word “never” with my therapist he tells me my depression is distorting my thought. We really cannot know what the future holds. You could get major inspiration tomorrow and go out and be a social butterfly. not likely but anything can happen.

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I have always struggled socially. It can be painful to watch other people who look like they’re having fun and know you’re alone. A lot of the time those people are not as happy as they look. They call that “judging your insides by other people’s outsides”. Maybe you can make a few social ventures. You can look for people who have things in common with you and hang around with them. I wouldn’t worry about it too much if you can’t find people to socialize with. There are always compensations for personal problems.

I just don’t get how people enjoy the gossiping/judgemental commenting on other people’s business like they know what that person is going through. How does someone enjoy that it always sounds so negative to me. Maybe its a way of releasing that negativity for people idk. I do a lot of creative stuff like writing and poetry and play video games to get the negative stuff out. Maybe its because people don’t have that outlet. I’m not blaming anyone for doing it cause it seems to be a social norm to do, but maybe I’m just not getting it cause I don’t enjoy it I go completely silent when a conversation goes that way and half the time I don’t even know the person the people I’m talking to are talking about. I’m rambling on this one subject but I wish people could be more inclusive and give different social conversations a try, cause normally I’m always happy when I include someone in on something I wouldn’t normally include them in on. It broadens my perception on whatever we are talking about. But whenever I hear the gossip channel turn on I always just listen to the second part of Pet Peeves by Del the Funky Homosapien lol.