They were horrible. I thought everyone was in on a conspiracy to kill or otherwise harm me. The people I had these thoughts about are dear friends and I’m sickened when I think back to how I thought about them during psychosis. I couldn’t help it but I still feel horribly guilty. Anyone else been through something similar? Thanks for reading.
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Do you view sz as something you choose to do or something that happened to you? Because if you understand that it is something happening to you, it helps. It doesn’t solve it but it helps.
I’ve been in waiting rooms, with my mind leaking. And the only thing that convinced me people couldn’t hear my thoughts was that if they actually could they would have already killed me because of the nasty things I’d thought about them. No one could hear some of the stuff that comes out of my head and not strike me down.
I know it doesn’t completely get rid of the guilt. There is a big difference between what we know and what we feel.
But maybe focusing on the empirical awareness that this is all something happening to you and not some weird choice you made might help. Like do you remember every going ‘Yes please sign me up for some of that sweet, sweet schizoprhenia.’ 
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Thank you. Lol, “sweet, sweet schizophrenia”. You’re right, this is just something that happened to me. And I know for a fact that my friends would never want to hurt me. They want(ed) to help me.
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