Been having a bad time lately because of family drama. I have been trying not to talk about it, because I am pretty sure some of them know my screen name here, but I need more support than my therapist can provide, and I think I am starting to exhaust my IRL friends’ patience. so here is the story.
A few weeks before Christmas, my sister got into some trouble and I went out to help her. I was alarmed by what I saw. Her behavior was growing more and more erratic. She was smoking way too much pot, to the point she was barely conscious, and when she was conscious she had extreme mood swings.
To make a long story short, she asked me to pay her rent. I said no, and offered to help her apply for financial assistance instead. She grew angry, and ended up physically assaulting me. Threw my protective helmet and all my other stuff out the door, then grabbed me, smashed my head on the bunk bed, dragged me through the house, tried to throw me out the door, missed, I bounced off the door and hit the bench nearby. Then she grabbed me again and successfully threw me out the door.
I got a concussion, and lost a lot of vision. My mom told me not to go to the hospital. My stepdad scolded me for making my sister angry because “you know how she gets.” He told me if I needed to go, I shouldn’t tell the ER staff how I was injured. I went anyways cuz I am not dumb. And I told them how I was injured because if I didn’t, they would assume Mr. Star was the one who hurt me.
Well, it has been months. I was only just cleared to drive again. My mom is mad at me because I won’t apologize to my sister for offending her. She believes my sister’s version of events, which is that she patiently guided me to the door and then for no apparent reason I leaped onto the bench and hit my head, and then she guided me back to the door and I walked out. She thinks my vision loss is unrelated and I am being melodramatic.
My family sucks. But I am a part of it. So I probably suck too.
That is horrible. I know it’s family but you don’t let anyone treat you like that as you deserve way better. I’m sorry you had to go through all that but your sister sounds like they are heading downhill whether you help them or not. You did the right thing so don’t be down on yourself and better to stay away for a while.
You have to prioritize you and your life over that of your family in this situation. You’ve been a good sibling so don’t feel guilty about it and look after yourself! I’m sorry this all happened to you.
The main priority in my family has always been preserving the appearance of peace and not calling attention to issues. Which is how my sister has gotten so in over her head in the first place. I have that same tendency in me. I see it sometimes. But when I see it I actively do the opposite.
Yeah I dig that totally. Still. Sweeping it under the rug and acting as if nothing happened isn’t good in the long run either. It’s tough. Family is family in my world. Yeah I’m lucky and don’t have any problems touch wood but abuse is still that and it’s not a good thing if your on the outer and the family is supporting your sister after that. I know it does get complicated and it’s never easy.
Although, in my situation I hate to hear that because I don’t have the money… Storming out on family when things escalated felt like such a relief for me physically that my jaw felt so light. (Holding in so much resentment)
In my situation I’ve just remained quiet because bringing issues up never changes them. Also, my opinions on solutions get ignored and I end up getting talked about behind my back for not wanting to follow their bs.
But your situation sounds like it’s escalated to the point that it’s going to be best to just let them know you won’t have anything to do with them.
Even as I say that I feel like… yeah I can’t even really feel like doing that myself if I could. So much feeling of becoming targeted or something later.
There are some people we are living with now that also feel a bit dangerous to me… It’s bringing me soo much tension and fear and pain.
I think the cause of her erratic behavior is her substance abuse problem. I think she needs to hit rock bottom for seeing that she needs professional help to get sober.
And by the way you describe her she will hit rock bottom soon.
In the mean time I would avoid her as well and tell to your family ‘she needs the help she deserves’.
Wow. Similar situation here. Brother tried to throw things at me because I said he needs to quit drinking. My mum also took his side. Said I provoked him and I should know how he gets when he’s angry. It’s like walking on eggshells. I’ve decided I’d distance myself from him and keep contact minimal. I have not spoken to him in days even though we live in the same house. I feel it’s best for my mental peace. I guess what I’m trying to say is you probably need to start detaching yourself. Talk to them by all means but I mean detach yourself on an emotional level.
The only reason I am as well as I am is that I live in a home where I know I will be fed. Growing up, the basis of my insecurity and anxiety was never knowing I deserved food. I am thriving on the opposite of my family. So, I would cut ties with your family and continue the good life you are living. And don’t be afraid to come to us. We can understand in many ways.
I fought physically with my brother until I was 14. It was not often though. I told him to stop coming after me and he did.
The physical fighting with my brother shouldn’t have happened. That’s something I see clearly as an adult. I was to blame for the fighting too, by the way. I was fighting with him equally in grade school.
However, this really should not be happening to you, especially as an adult. I’m shocked this happened to you.
I think I’d stay away from my sister if this happened to me.
