Schizophrenia.com

Experience with dating websites

tonight I got chatting to guys on dating sites. it went ok but I have been ill for 10 years with schiz issues so when they started asking questions about how long I’ve been single and whether I work etc I have to try and think up good lies all the time and I’ve been finding it a bit of a chore.

Oft times I go around the truth by being vague or answering a question with question or changing the subject or disguising the truth with facts.

For example: A lot of the people I know, I know from AA. When I’m out in the world with a friend, and we run into someone I know, afterwards the other person will often say, “Where do you know Bill from?” I usually answer this way, “I’m not exactly sure when I first met him,” which is quite true, although I do know exacty where I met him!

Jayster
Jayster

Nope no experience with dating websites here…

Okay that’s not entirely true but I’ve never met anyone IRL from a dating site. In my early 20’s I put up a profile on a site that will go unnamed and got chatted up by this one young woman who thought I sounded like a nice guy but I was so confused back then that I put her off in two conversations and that was that. I also put up a profile on a dating site for people with mental illness in my 20’s and chatted with a few people but was also so confused at the time that I couldn’t really engage with anybody and kept compulsively changing my profile information.

I don’t know, I’ve never really even been on a conventional date with anyone…I imagine it being really awkward. I’ve always just met the odd duck here and there IRL and started hanging out and things just went from there. But it’s been a lonely several years and that hasn’t seemed to happen. But yeah I wouldn’t personally necessarily lie about those things I would just put a spin on the truth. Therefor no one feels lied to or mislead if you happen to hit it off with them and have to eventually tell them the truth.

dating makes me nervous, i get nervous around people i don’t know, thats why i like to know women first but i have only been with one woman so i haven’t dated much, i hate online dating bc i tried it twice and i paid a lot of money but i got no dates bc i am not good at it. i need help i guess :frowning:

I’m on a dating site, but it is hard finding people who aren’t republicans. Most guys just say hi based on looks. They don’t pay attention to the ratings. My inbox has mostly incompatible people.

I have recently chatted with a guy who seemed interesting. I was honest about having school as my main focus. He said he understands, but his response didn’t further the conversation. I’ll have to ask him a question now.

When I was living in supportive housing one of the staff would always talk about his adventures on dating sites. A couple of the guys living there wanted to sign up but were not familiar with the process so they asked me for help.

The three of us signed up for one rather popular free site. They gave me their info and I wrote up their descriptions and such. I also took photos of them to add to their pages. We never really used the site but it was fun writing up the descriptions. I enjoy creative writing.

The one who got the most responses, by far, was the older man. He was in his 50’s, big and tall, with a large beard. The older ladies of the site really seemed interested in him.

Some time later, I got annoyed with the other guy. Since I was the one who worked on his page, I decided to play a little trick on him. I changed all the references for “woman” in his page to “man”. Then I re-categorized his listing into the men seeking men section. I don’t think he ever found out what I had done. The funny thing is that, though years have passed, his listing is still there. I’d take it down but I long ago forgot his password.

Sometimes I can be a real jerk.

I just put “through a series of events, I have not been interested in dating for the last few years. I’ve secluded myself to nothing but work, and am new to pretty much everything”. If chicks aren’t open to that amount of weirdness, the same wouldn’t be open to sz, even if I were treated.:stuck_out_tongue:

The thing with dating sites is you should really meet the person very early on. People are different went they are in person than when you talk to them online. Also I met some guys I thought were okay with my situation but later decided they were only okay with it because they just wanted a fling and didn’t plan on keeping me. Really liked this one guy, then he stopped talking to me. Two months later he said he went to visit his family and was back now. Didn’t tell me where he was going or what was going on before he went. I never sent him a message back. Obviously he doesn’t care about me enough.

Yeah I’ve known several guys who used dating sites just to get laid. They’d pretend to be all interested in a relationship and well meaning and all but from what I saw it was just their way of having a new girl every couple of weeks.

I agree that it’s very difficult to judge a person’s character over the internet. I myself am a very different creature IRL than I am online though I’m being honest and true in both cases…I guess it’s hard to explain.

I do dating sites. I’ve been talking to a guy who lives in another city in my state for a couple of weeks, I just skyped with him for 2 1/2 hours. Basically, there are lots of different types of people on them, and I have been on dates with people from them. Everything from people being annoying when I am not interested to people who have nice profile pictures but are nasty in real life to people who think they are too good for me. Some 18 year old girl threw herself at me after I said “Hey, how are you?” and I was like no, immature. Some people who live across the country have repeatedly messaged me saying Im hot and asking what I am doing. Some really decent people have ignored my messages.

Basically, you need to have mutual interest. I have my profiles filled out and it says I am a full time student. I attract unwanted attention most of the time from people who arent attractive or don’t have their ■■■■ together or both.

I used to be on a dating site. Trust me, its all lies. Everyone spoofs, tries to meke out theyre a catch, possibly catch of the year. I used to be on one site, and I SOLD MYSELF AS IF A GOD. It was all fabricated though. When I look back on it, I feel a bit of a fool as I imagine I became across as smug. But Im not smug at all in real life, its just Id be rather insecure on those sites.

I approached it differently. Didn’t give out too much personal information and didn’t crap on about my ‘hobbies’ and ‘favourite movies’. I kept things a bit more abstract - figured someone with a similar sense of humour/personality would ‘get it’ and that connection would be far more valuable than a connection over a mutual love of tennis, for example. To me, sharing the same hobby or taste in music doesn’t really mean anything…I need something a bit more cerebral.

I also posted natural photos; photos I already had. Not ones where I’m wearing 100 tons of make-up, taken from a weird angle. A lot of people look great in their profile pic and well below average in real life…so the person they meet it likely to be disappointed.

what dating sites do you use and do they cost a lot of money? i was thinking about joining one but its about 30 a month :frowning: and that puts me off like why should i pay for that when i might be able to meet someone outside

Every time I see this thread I think to myself “Why would anyone want to date a website?” Ha. Ha. Ha.

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I do not believe in relations any longer. One year ago I tried one dating site and they kicked me out. I suppose they did not like me. Maybe it is better in this way.

Never had any luck with dating sites. Never had any luck with women at all really. I desire women, but never seem to meet any. So I wonder if being single and not very sexually active affects me at all?
My psychologist says that meeting women is a desirable thing, but for the three years I’ve been getting therapy, I have had not one sexual encounter, or a date.

I am a big fan of dating web sites I met my fiancé on plentyoffish.com that is free and local I think its great because there are so many lonely people out there who can find each other.

I’m quite a handsome guy and have gotten one girlfriend/fuckbuddy off okcupid. I’ve messaged tons of women, most don’t message back at all. Some have told me “i should go find a girl in the real world” or “you’re too good looking to be on a dating website”.
My profile is all crap that deflects from me not having a job/school/purpose.
That’s probably why I’ll never have a girlfriend. Okcupid might work for women, but there’s tons of men out there who get nothing out of it. If you’re a mildly attractive woman, you’ll get tons of messages.

I’m with someone so I don’t do dating sites but even before that i had given them up long ago. Too many ‘regular’ people on them who do not seem interested in things I am interested in, or living a life as i do.
Has nothing to do with any past diagnoses…it has to do with the fact i get into some pretty deep stuff and most regular people think I am way way out there.
The girls I’ve met have been on the internet, but not dating sites…Alien abduction sites, Christian & spiritual sites, Lord of the Rings sites, even schizophrenia sites.
I corresponded with one seemingly cool person from a dating site in 2002, for about 3 months… but she was from another country and after awhile i could tell she was looking for money and to find someone willing to take her family along with her. $2,000 a month at the time income was not enough, she said…