Just need to vent

I’ve really badly been trying to catch on my sleep. Last night I took 2 klonopin pills instead of one because one was not enough. (I’m on the very lowest dose so don’t worry, since I was on such a low dose doc gave me permission to double up if I ever needed) Anyways the upped dose seemed to help quite a bit and I got 10 hours of sleep.

possible triggers ahead Basically on my trip I was being harassed non stop by the demons, they were making me do horrible things and doing bad things to me which I already mentioned on here. It hasn’t been as severe now I’m back home but I still have them say things like how I need to accept the devil, that God doesn’t want me or that God has given me to the devil, wanting me to become a satanist basically and telling me to love and worship him instead. I even had a whole dream where a strange woman tried to convince me to become a Satanist which I frankly refused the entire time.

I hope that after enough nights in a row of taking klonopin to keep me calm so I can sleep, and once I get back into my normal work routine (I have one day of break left) things will go back to normal. It’s been hard. I was trying to get myself off earlier and a demon was talking to me the whole time trying to convince me it was possessing me and doing it, though I did my best to ignore it.

Psychosis is a f****ng nightmare.

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Even now I feel that tension and anxiety in my chest since it’s night and I’m alone. I am horribly horribly afraid of them. I’m really not afraid of many things but I am so terrified of them. I try my best to stand up to them and fight them anyways but they know they terrify me. It makes me feel guilty, like I am unfaithful because if I truly trusted God to protect me why would I be so scared of them…I do love God though, but it does make me concerned sometimes when he doesn’t seem to help me when I need him

The demons mock me for this that’s why they say he doesn’t care

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Hope you feel better!

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