"Everything he knows is wrong" - Bill Paxton; Titanic(1997) Quote

As The Onion put it once; it’s just the world’s greatest metaphor(Titanic). And if you detect grandeur here… I won’t deny the concept has shaped me.

To begin:

I once saw trivia on a Snapple Cap that said: “The human eye moves 200 times per second.” (@ninjastar please curate these thoughts if this is burdensome knowledge/triggering to some).

In college in Communication Studies 101; I learned that “One cannot; not communicate”.

5 years after college I mistakenly took Ritalin and managed to take in Crime and Punishment. Where a detective slowly closes in on and susses(sp) out the guilty party.

The things my mind chooses to remember; are my personality; they’re me. Heck, I even saw a flick called “Dark Night of the Scarecrow”(1981) and I relate to the guy who seemingly had M.R. (His mother tells him to play the “Hiding game”; and he sort of does this thing where he tries to hide in plain sight. I saw the movie too young, granted, but, you see I have trouble digesting that Marlon Brando’s older sister is in it. It’s coincidence that gets conflated as meaning.

None of this is provocative so far. But in Brando’s first work(Streetcar Named Desire) apparently there exists a rape off screen. You have to think hard though, and identify that acting is almost impossible to break into… and his first role was probably not something he should have ended up being so attached to? As in… like a scarlet letter?. I will bend on this line of thought. Especially if you ask questions; make comments.

But the deepest parallel and what gets me talking is that if you quote a movie in an organization; suddenly it can feel like your attached to the movie and have to get in front of it’s entire world.

I crossed paths with a true bad actor in business[I’m dead serious]; he was a boss of mine and asked me who my heroes were. I believe he was on to me and sussing me out. I was uncomfortable/verklempt and said Winston Churchill and/or I like his quotes anyway. He offered back his hero was Benjamin Franklin. And if you don’t see my plight in this anecdote; you simply never will.

My healthy role model these days is Grissom from CSI. He quotes books; perhaps deeper tracks on albums. It’s different; and my interest is totally piqued. People rewarded him. And this is all why there’s 10 new critically acclaimed movies that I didn’t bother to see. It’s a strategic nightmare for a guy like me.

And I am humiliated! So what if I appreciate Last Tango in Paris. On the poster it depicts a husband [perhaps on a Saturday] resting under a tree and looking pleased with himself. It’s not in the movie which is cool to me. But in that moment he has an upper hand in a conflict. That moment; that example; hits me between the eyes.

Maybe it’s simply a lack of Serenity as in the famous prayer that’s said in A.A. a lot. But feeling like you’re supposed to do something is a feeling that can occur. Still bringing this back to more universally comfortable levels; my delusion manifested as a cancer scare in my adolescence. And I don’t know why I didn’t get seek closure. I’m just telling you; I’m a sympathetic character and could be stuck in a looser form of 'Word Salad"… maybe… “metaphor salad”.

Thanks for reading until the end.

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I think it’s very interesting to say we are what we remember. I think that’s very true. I am a fundamentally different person than I was ten years ago, because of the experiences I had in that time.

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Titanic also makes me think about how they second guessed the captain for sealing off the water in the first few compartments.

It’s drama I know but sometimes it feels like whether I jettison info/secrets or hold onto them, I’m gonna go down.

But on a healthier side I want to grow a bit older and be like John Locke from LOST and be knowledgeable. A persons knowledge base is susceptible to grandeur so I’ll try to remember that as I go.

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