Everyone at the Resaturant was Talking About Me!

Unusual Beliefs
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I have been dealing with schizophrenia for 5 years now.

At first it was just hearing voices from within my head. It was stressful but I dealt with it and got a job working at a large call center. As time went on it seemed my coworkers could hear my thoughts and were talking about me. Honestly I often have negative thoughts about others. I’ve been working on it but it is still bad. I got too stressed at the job including having a breakdown one day. I ended up quitting.

About a year ago the voices were still talking to me a lot and one voice that seemed like my dead grandmother talked to me and introduced me to Jesus. Since then Jesus has been talking to me or at least I believed he was, as well as numerous other people, voices.

The past month or so, the Jesus voice has been telling me to clean at midnight or to not eat anything unless he says so and to only eat what he says, to not go to sleep some nights.

Needless to say I was pretty stressed out the past few weeks.

I’ve been getting to a place where I no longer believed that it was really Jesus and I believed it was just voices in my head that weren’t real, thanks to some paragraphs in schizophrenia articles like
this book…can’t post link cause I’m new. Book is called Psychosocial Treatment of Schizophrenia.

It discussed in one section the idea of not doing what the voices tell you to and seeing if there is any consequence for it including ignoring a voice calling himself God. The Jesus voice has been telling me “you’re dead” and “you’re going to hell”. So far I have not gone even though I have been largely ignoring this voice as well as other voices this last week or two.

This comment by maybetoopatient on a NYT blog described his wife and she seemed to be going through the same as me and because of her outcome I was beginning to believe the doctors that I am just schizophrenic.

But I was out tonight with my friends who I hadn’t seen in a while and the entire time I was there it felt like people were talking to me. I swear they were saying out loud “you’re dead”, “you’re going to hell” over and over.

I tried to tell myself they were not talking about me and that it was just external voices as opposed to the internal ones I often hear which were saying the same things.

I’ve tried not to completely trust external voices since I have been experiencing what seemed as if the people on TV were talking to me. When I am in the room with the TV sometimes it is as if they can hear my thoughts and I hear internal voices. When I am not in the same room, the room my Dad is in has a TV and I swear sometimes it seems like they are talking to me out loud. My doctor has told me that is a psychotic thought, the TV isn’t really talking to me…

But tonight man I was totally stressed and I swear it was as if the room could hear my thoughts and they kept telling me “you’re dead”, “you’re going to hell”.

I need help, what should I do? Should I try to reconnect with this Jesus voice? I’ve heard the joke, that people who hear Jesus are schizophrenic but really, I don’t want to go to hell. I don’t know what else to do.

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Well man if you are going to hell… So are a lot of people, even christians. I don’t believe in that stuff at all, but I did have those fears for a while.

That doesn’t sound like the kind of stuff people would ever say out loud to anyone. I get hallucinations like this as well and they can be very convincing.

Yesterday I had the mental tick of a girl chiming in and commenting on what I was doing. I got into the routine of mentally “looking” at her and got caught up in a cycle of trying to communicate with it.

Any ways man. Voices aren’t real. Entertaining that they are is only going to prolong their presence. Listening to them is only going to make you delusional.

You have to be ready for silence. It’s a lot less interesting than when even bad voices are acting up.

Relax man, no one wants you to die. You sound like an innocent person and if there is a God I don’t think he would send innocent people to hell regardless of their faith.

Try and relax ground yourself and focus on the physical world.

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I get this way too sometimes. It sounds like stuff on tv is commenting about me. Or the whole grocery store is talking about me. It’s just being delusional, I know it’s not real.

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Hello, try not to worry. You are not going to hell. These “voices” are hallucinations e.g… internal workings of your mind that nobody else hears. Jesus doesn’t tell people to go to hell… if you read the bible he is simply loving, healing and positive and would want to help you. If the tv could talk to people telepathically it would be a sensation worth billions. It doesn’t add up. Please stop listening, I have been there and it is self destructive. Kind wishes, mouse1977

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I appreciate the replies. I have been reading them and other similar posts to try and gain some kind of understanding on what I should do.

The voices just feel so real. I felt like I was making headway, getting better, and this one night out tore it all asunder. I am a ship tossing about on the ocean. I do not know what to do, what to believe.

I just hear so often “evil”, “stupid”, “a$$hole”, “■■■■ you”, “you’re dead”, “you’re going to hell”. When I try to dismiss it I hear “believe what you want” or when I think of eating something I get “do what you want”.

They seem to know just what to say…

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Your head is making it all up that is why it is so precise. The voices know exactly what to say to make you come uneasy or unbalanced.

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thought i would say hi.
you are not going to hell…you have an illness.
that is all.
know someone cares :heart:
take care :alien:

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