Dr appt today... scared, worried, fearful

I have my Dr appointment today at 3pm. I couldn’t sleep last night. My arms are all carved up, there is a detailed and researched suicide plan in my hands that I don’t remember making, I know I need help… but I really am terrified of that help coming in the form of an involuntarily committed hospital stay. I don’t know how I am going to make it through work today.

Today’s Drawing

Good luck, and I’m rooting for you. You are under a lot of stress right now. I hope you get to relax enough that you get to have a conversation with him and get a treatment plan in order that works for both of you.

*Her, and I hope so too.

Good luck Sasha, and hope you feel better soon!

1 Like

Good luck sasha. Just get through it one minute at a time. You can do this.

1 Like

I’m sorry sasha…if the hospital stay would help you, why don’t you do it? I know that’s easy for me to say I guess, but you seem so miserable?

Because it is expensive, and I have heard many bad stories. I don’t trust people easy and I don’t want to be forced to be around strangers, i don’t want to be touched and I don’t want meds forced on me. I am the … i have to work to pay the bills without me they don’t get paid … and i can’t make money locked up in there.

I will be honest, but i don’t know where to start I have been trying to think of what to tell her… i guess i could just roll up my sleeves and show her… then tell her about how they want to kill me lately… they wrote a suicide plan in my journal… i have every page numbered precisely and now it is all messed up… I DIDN"T WRITE IT… they don’t believe me, it is in my handwriting but I don’t have the knowledge of the anatomy and cardio system to even think of something like that… it wasn’t me. but if they can keep harming me i fear they will try to follow those plans too. and i don’t want to die. but i can’t be locked up i have to keep working or we will loose everything and K will be sleeping in a box under a bridge… a box… how horriable is that … no not for my love that is not ok i have to keep working… just need … i justy want them to let me… i don’t want to di.

You need to be honest 100%. It hurts to be vulnerable to people (for me it does, I’m messed up in other ways) but you need to be completely honest with the doctor. I am rooting for you! You have needed to see a doctor for a long time.


good luck sasha. tell her everything and u never know what a bright future u may have. if one med doesn’t work then try another and another and so on, until u find one that does. the right medication will stop all of these thoughts and voices and paranoia. i’m rooting for u xxx

1 Like

Maybe you should write down what you want to talk about and tell her you can’t afford to go into the hospital. I’m seeing my doctor today too. He’s been suggesting I increase my medication. I guess I’ll try it and see what happens when I see him today. We’ll see. I hope your doctor appointment works out okay and mine as well.

1 Like

@joanne I hope things go good for you. I really do.

Thanks Sasha!!!

1 Like

good luck, it will be fine.
take care

1 Like

So I saw my doctor today and he increased my meds to address my paranoid thoughts. I’ll try it. See how it works. He said I can always go back down if it’s too much for me.


@sasha How did your appt go?


You know I have told you this before. If you dont want to end up getting involuntarily hospitalized I strongly suggest you be open and honest with your psychiatrist so that he can give you the RIGHT meds. You may need to be on an antipsychotic, but it is better than cutting your arm up like a Thanksgiving turkey - I doubt he will commit you to a hospital, unless you are strongly suicidal or homicidal


@Wave @BarbieBF @joanne @jaynebeal @mortimermouse @Erratica @jukebox @Hadeda @SurprisedJ

The doc put me on Saphrin (I think that is how it is spelled) and Geodon and upped my Celexa to 80mg. She said if we get positive results and nothing gets worse then she won’t put me in the hospital. I see her again in a week. If I don’t pull things together though I will be committed.


I’m glad you avoided commitment. I really hope that the Saphris and Geodon give you some relief quickly. That’s a great combo, by the way.

Sending healing thoughts your way :slight_smile: