I have issues that are keeping me from being the man I could be proud of. Guilt over past suicides and shame over past events I can’t talk about. They keep me down and I can’t seem to get over it, is there hope? How do you guys cope with shame and guilt? I am constantly emotional and it keeps me from stopping smoking because I am always so upset. please help.
Due you gotta clear your mind and live anew separate yourself from your past. Try to establish a state of mind with no thoughts even if it’s just for 30 seconds. The past is the past it no longer exists. All there are is physical traces including memories.
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I hope your not smoking weed again. Last I remembered you were two weeks clean. I hope you’ve haven’t gone back. Also, I have no coping skills for shame or guilt. I just let nature takes it’s coarse until I get over it. Over time, you will get over it.
thanks guys. @Kella I am still clean and I think that’s why I’m so emotional and filled with these issues. My life is hitting me head on and what I’ve done in my past is looming in my head. Makes me want to use but I couldn’t even if I wanted to because I lost my connect. My girlfriend Angie is very comforting and loving towards me all the time and I owe her gratitude for being there for me. @BryanAshley thanks man, I know I should just let it go. It’s hard for me. I always have been really hard on myself more than I should. I just pray all the time trying to wrap my head around the things that make me feel bad.
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ACT therapy might help? its all about acceptance. you need to Accept yourself.
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Yeah, you could be going through some withdrawal. Since your not “numbing the pain away” with marijuana you’ve unmasked some issues. Well, time does heal most wound and I think you’ll let it go sooner or later. Just do yourself a favor and stay away from the weed. Congratulations on staying clean.
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I assure you this will pass in a couple months. Maybe you just need to process things. Dont take for granted the life youve found for yourself. Hold onto it and think about how you can make it better. Best wishes Juke. You’re deserving of the best life you can attain.
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that link helped immensely, thank you @levelJ1.
I will try not to accept my judgements I make of myself and try to see my mind as simply observations from now on. man, do I feel bad though. All I think about during the day is how to get one more hit. I am being forced to be clean which I also think is the way God planned it because I sure as hell can’t stay clean obviously by myself.
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your welcome,
its all about the journey man, quiting an addiction is like a marathon. there can be minor setbacks. just gotta pace yourself and youll be alright 
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I haven’t smoked anything for seven months. I’m happy about that! It really wasn’t the starting motivation, but I do have more money in pocket now. The money saved is very kewl!
Jayster
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It takes time to detox from weed especially if you smoked a lot your body can acclimated to it so without it you’ll be a totally different person.
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@jukebox, what you are going through is really hard right now, you gave up something that you really enjoyed, it is not going to be easy, but the fact that your connection is not availablre really helps. Plus now you have your girlfriend back, let her be there to support you, tell her what is going on with you, that is the core to any relationship is honesty.If you need to talk, you know where to find me, i am here for you.
Your friend,
Kitty
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I don’t agree with this statement. I still have survivor’s guilt about my kidney transplant. It might go away for a while but it can resurface when I least expect it and reopen the ‘wound’ all over again.
Best wishes,
Padster
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The past is the past. Think about the present and the future. BTW they played “Brandy” on the radio a few minutes ago and I thought of you, I remember when I asked you who sang that and you didn’t say “google it” thanks again. Hoping you feel better soon.
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A lot of my shame comes from how I treated my siblings and parents and what I put my kid sis through when I was heavily using and drinking.
I’ve been going through therapy and trying to make amends for what I did. I’ve been working hard to not be that person anymore.
There are some things that happen in the here and now that I know stem from the past and it hurts a lot. All I can do is… my best at making amends when it does come up.
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If you have previously forgiven yourself for things that may not have required self-forgiveness, are you using your past to prevent you from making a character change?
I say time heals, but I see where Padster is coming from. My suicidal past, the trauma I went through, the fact that I can make good ground then hit a wall, I am learning how to accept it. I am not giving up.
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That has to be agonizing. Folks with means have centers to go to to help with that or they can stay with someone who will try to prevent them from acting on their impulses.
What do you want to do, other than take a hit, to distract yourself?
thanks everyone. I am applying “self acceptance” to my daily thoughts of how bad I am and it is really helping. Mostly I’ve been making peace with God, and that is very healing for me. Here I sit smoking a cigarette and I hope soon I can give them up, but the emotions are still very much accelerated right now so I am going to wait until I feel comfortable again before trying to stop. There is so much love outpoured for me on this thread and I am very grateful I have this forum with the people here, makes me feel loved.
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When you stop self-medicating, things will come up. Everyone has past issues to deal with. A therapist can really help with this kind of stuff. Plus, you know you`re not alone.
Deal with the past without blame-and look forward to the future. Road trip!
Much love to you OO
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