Today woke up feeling slightly refreshed then went to work. What a hectic day. Then someone told me that I might get shot the next morning when I’m on the street. I don’t know what to do! I don’t want to die and these people won’t leave me alone. Feel hopeless. I’m drowning in their negative comments. Feel like I’m a sitting target. Everyone who speaks to me treats me like the derogatory names they call me. Need to feel safe. Please help. I’m not a racist or a pervert.
Why would someone say that?
My hallucinations tell me that a whole lot of people are going to beat the S*** out of me on a regular basis. It’s always grandiose like " a whole lot of people " or " the whole world " or " the whole neighborhood "
I would think one good sized fellow in good health could do the job. I don’t take them seriously but since hallucinations don’t have minds they don’t understand the concept of a waste of time.
Once you start challenging the voices they start to lose the power they have over you. But it’s not always easy to know what’s real or not real.
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I don’t want to die full of rage. There are a few things I would like to do before I kick the bucket, but they might not come off. Everyone has to die. It’s just a question of when.
Are you sure PEOPLE actually say that? Or is it voices acting up? If people truly say that to you, you need to talk to your manager. If it is voices, you need to stress down, if that does not help, talk to your pdoc.
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I am sorry that you are afraid. I wish I could help. I was overwhelmed with paranoia that I was going to be killed today as well. I was terrified. All I can do is tell myself it is my unhealthy mind telling me untrue things. I know it is very hard to do when it seems so real. My thoughts are with you. Feel better soon.
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If your feeling like everyone is after you ,like it seems, there’s a good chance it’s just your perception .
Because people can hear my intrusive thoughts and have people yelling at me. Don’t feel like myself right now. Feel like someone made me brain dead. Wish I had my own mind.
Did they say that in your mind or with their mouths?
With their mouth but only a few feel so afraid of what I think. Feel so terrible. But my body and mind has taken its toll. Feel so brain dead right now. A girl keeps trying to hurt my body and mind. Don’t know how to stop her.
Maybe it’s my perception feel scared of going out sometimes think something might happen.
It’s not real. Don’t believe it.
I don’t blame you for not wanting to die @see121, that would just make a wee bit angry if someone was being that disrespectful to me.
Yes I know @IndustrialLad. I feel a good part of the world see me be sick and have mean and intrusive thoughts which today became worse. Today I thought I was saying all these mean things about people. I just wanted to die. I don’t understand my thoughts sometimes. Have some people inside and outside of my body. There is this cruel girl that tries to hurt my body and mind, sometimes it’s a real emergency. Today I think she made me brain dead, I’m like suffering in silence she did so much to me. And some people hate me and just make jokes about someone taking a hit against me. Don’t want to die this way.
Feel hopeless like it’s beyond my control. Wish I could get angry and be enraged I’ve been so abused, just really depressed.
That’s why we all come to this site our perception is a little different that normal and meds kinda help bring us to normal. If your seeing a pdoc and he’s got you on meds, that’s a good start. Sometimes you have to take some small steps to prove these lies wrong. I Know it’s hard to not believe your own thoughts. We’ve all had that problem at some point. We really feel for you and are wishing for some quick recovery.
I’m sorry you’re having to endure this. I hope you can make progress to the point you no longer fear the voices and intrusive thoughts.
What does not being a racist or a pervert have to do with anything. My advice arm yourself if you think it isn’t safe and if you find a religion you could lose that fear of dying. I remember when I was dying in the hospital I didn’t have a fear of death for some reason. Of course then it came back at choice times during psychosis but I overcame it.
I not sure exactly what was meant. But when I’m in phsycosis I always feel like people are trying to frame me legally or accuse me publicly of things to destroy me. And then I get defensive about it.