I like my home creature comforts. I speak to family everyday on the phone then maybe see them once or twice a week.
I go out less and less and spend more time on my bed. Not the way I want it but that is how it goes atm.
I hate going out. I have to see my psychiatrist tomorrow and I’m stressed out about the fact I have to go out.
I get sick if i dont go out 
You sound better now.
Good to read.
I am a homebody .
I used to not be able to go out.
When I had voices they told me I am to ugly to be seen and I am not aloud to go out and when I went out I felt hysteria and awful and hated and blamed and attacked.
They went away many years ago now.
Then I just felt attacked.
I still feel attacked but not by most public people out n about anymore .
It’s changed and now it’s some of my boyfriends friends and family I feel attacked by.
I used to feel attacked by everyone at dance when I tried rock n roll dancing for beginners as exercise.
I could not keep going cause I felt attacked by them and I was all alone and all of them against me.
The thing is now I feel attacked in my own home.
It’s My boyfriends but I live here too and pay half the bills and food so it is actually my home.
And I have been attacked by his friends and family in my own home.
I decided to try and go out for a walk when some of them come over and I’m not feeling well n feel attacked by them etc.
I am disappointed that he does not tell them their behaviour is unacceptable and will not be tolerated.
Is he afraid of his friends …
Doesn’t he dare speak up to them…
Why if he has love and respect for me would he let them treat me that way and attack me with invisible weapons in my own home…
It is not my place to tell them.
I came here by myself.
I felt unwelcome by most of them not that they said it out loud though.
Disgusting behaviour.
Specially for adults.
I am so disappointed in my boyfriend for allowing it to go on.
Instead he says I’m delusional.
A man who truly loves and respects me would stand for me and tell them to stop attacking me with invisible weapons and to stop behaving so badly.
I think they are jealous of me.
They want power over me and they do not feel that in reality they have that which makes them throw even more tantrums and gadd up against me.
In my imagination my man would have the strong stand to tell his friends and family to back off and stop attacking me and being abusive etc.
He would tell them their behaviour to me will not be tolerated and is not acceptable.
I feel so alone.
Alone against all of them.
I like at least one of his friends that I did not feel attacked by.
I used to think they were all nazis.
The good news is I can go grocery shopping and go for walks and go to post office even all by myself .
I avoid social gatherings but have managed to attend some but was not talking as such but said hello.
It’s great to be able to get out and do grocery shopping etc and by myself too but I’m still a home body and still have symptoms etc
Glad you seem to feel better now and have support of family.
Im sure your boyfriend loves you and is doing his best as a normie to support you emotionally. From what youve posted before it seems you have a great relationship.
I hardly ever go out too. For about the last ten weekends I have stayed in my room the whole time. My brother in law took me out to eat last weekend, but other than that I haven’t been out at all. I walk about a hundred yards to go to day treatment during the week, and that is as close as I get to going out, other than going grocery shopping once a week with our group. Sometimes my legs get restless and I walk back and forth in my room for exercise. When we had stores that sold beer in town I’d be out with my friends drinking under the trees. It’s been five months since I’ve drank anything. That’s good.