Does it make you sad to think of all MI has cheated you out of?

DX'd - Other
1

I was just thinking back to when I went off to college, when I was 18.

Thinking about my undergrad years makes me sad sometimes, because I realize how much more fun I could’ve had, had I not been so mentally ill. Depression/SI (including suicide attempts), mania, psychotic symptoms, ugh.

I could say the same for my high school years, though, minus the suicide attempts, though I was strongly suicidal for most of high school.

I was horribly ill in med school, kind of embarrassing to think back on my manic behavior and psychotic behavior (first psychotic break). ■■■■ my med school classmates, though, most of them anyway.

That was all a long time ago, graduated high school 22 years ago, left med school 17 years ago, but sometimes I feel like MI has cheated me out of so damn much, and it makes me sad.

2

I understand completely. I was in school too and I had to leave bc of mental illness. Broke my heart.

1 Like
3

I understand.

I was capable of having a sort of okay study time…but i partly havent been able to raise my own kid, have a career, i have lost friends and some family, a partner and stepchild. Trust. It feels sad and unfair.

I think i have gained some things too. But still.

Sorry to hear about the things and time you lost.

1 Like
4

I was a U.S. Navy intelligence specialist from 1982 through 1985. I loved the job, but I became delusional (paranoia) and was discharged. I sometimes reflect on what could have been, but I also realize that it may have been a blessing in disguise. Either way, it’s history.

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” --Helen Keller

3 Likes
5

It makes me sad if I get cardiovascular disease. Prematurely. Since I know it would be due to the meds.

Apart from that I don’t get too sad

Except the years that have gone by since 2016.

But I try to say its for a good reason. A bit of loneliness and nothingness will be needed to appreciate the somethings Ness of my future. If it is a good future

1 Like
6

Thanks for the nice quote. I think i have also gained things. F.e. I know much better whom and what i find important now. Cant always live by it. But i know. I also have much deeper conversations with people now. Got some beautiful people into my life.

2 Likes
7

I’m less sad about the M.I cheating me out of anything , than the poor treatment of the M.I.

1 Like
8

@anon49901817

That’s a good way to look at it.

I sometimes feel that hard times are necessary for growth.

3 Likes
9

I was suicidal for most of my high school years too. I missed a lot of days at school due to my MI. I’m surprised they even gave me my diploma.

After I graduated I had a short period of time to enjoy being 18 during the summer before I was diagnosed in the late fall.

I have mostly traumatic experiences that I have to remember from how I was treated in high school. I was also hospitalized twice when I was a teen.

I miss having the confidence to go out driving on my own and go places on my own.

1 Like
10

My motto was “I’m not important.” Because I really couldn’t trust myself. Self trust is needed.

11

I feel cheated. Worst thing is you cannot really talk to people about it, as we’re forced to suffer in silence as in any social setting, telling anyone the reason you’re suffering - Schizophrenia - will only make things worse than they already are

12

Yes. It actually hit me earlier today. A coworker was talking about how she has 3 jobs, and oddly enough i envy her ability to do that. I used to be able to. But now no way i can barely do my part time hours and even then i really shouldnt but i dont have a choice.

13

This topic was automatically closed 90 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.