Does anyone know how I can change my anger and stop being a prick to be around?

I have this underlying anger and need to change but I don’t know how. I feel sorry for my parents for putting up with me. I apologise to them but its basically becoming a bit of a BIG problem. My anger can manifest itself in anti social ways, basically ranging from being rude to blowing up like a volcano. I need to change and am willing to try anything. Do you know of groups or methods??

1 Like

I think there are anger management groups, kind of like AA. I havent been to one, but I remember hearing about them. Could just have been my imagination though.

But meds are often prescribed for chronic irritability. Benzos (xanax, klonopin) are usually effective at treating people with persistent anger.

I was kind of angry at life before I got on meds and quit having symptoms. I would exercise just to exhaust myself, not really to get stronger or healthier. That ended with a pulled abductor and a torn lower abdomen in my groin. Now I am into powerlifting and know my limits and train to get stronger, I dont run for an hour in the summer heat or hit my punching bag until my knuckles are raw, which I used to do a few times a week.

Anger managements groups are a good idea. I have thought about joining me, my son and my husband up for one as for awhile things were pretty bad. My husband is now on something for Generalized Anxiety Disorder which helps him a lot as he would just get angry out of nowhere over little things and he couldn’t let go of that anger for long periods. Now he is not so anxious so not easily angered. Currently I am trying to teach him to stop and count to 10 and breath when something upsets him. With my son when I see negativity or anger coming through then I know he is slipping a little bit. He is prescribed Gabapentin which helps him a lot with controlling his anxiety. Do you know what sparks your anger? From my point of view I consider anger to be a safe emotion. So if we are hurt, anxious, insecure or any other number of emotions then it is safe to release it as anger. If you can identify what is sparking the anger then that may help. So when a situation arises try asking yourself what it is that you are angry about. Or underneath that what you are anxious, insecure or hurt about. My husband is slowly realizing that a lot of his anger is actually self directed. Angry that he can’t make himself understood. Angry that his words just don’t come out right. Angry at me for not understanding what he was trying to say or do. A build up of years of anger or self doubt. Good luck.

2 Likes

remove your self from the stressfull situation , hyponotherapy helped me , not having food high in sugar might keep your mind more level ( no highs and lows ).
find the source of your anger like BarbieBF said .
i generally had a lot of anger in the morning senarios would happen in my head but i have worked on that and it is lessening, thankfully.
having the maturity to apologize shows you recognise you have a problem, that is the first step to a better you .
take care

2 Likes

In an episode of Seinfeld, George attends a 12-step program for rageaholics. I don’t know if that’s a real thing. I’m no expert but you need a healthy way to vent your anger. A way to let it out in increments instead of bottling it in and then exploding in one huge explosion. I think if you are isolated and have a lot of anger it will not be good for you as being in some group who teaches you how to manage it so you aren’t hurting yourself or anyone else.The goal is not to exterminate ALL anger. Getting angry occasionally is normal and healthy. You’re lucky in a way. I couldn’t work up a good anger to save my life.

2 Likes

You need to find the source of your anger.

I had that problem, In my case, I simply removed revenge from my values.

I get angry too and lately I learned that when guys get depressed they get angry instead of sad… so I am pretty sure I am depressed and I am going to tell my psychologist about that again… if she refuses to re diagnose me this time I am going to ask for another psychologist (a male one)

1 Like

For there to be no anger things must become well enough for that to happen.

And things are not well enough.

I went through a huge anger phase and got help.

I had anger management classes in my life. It helped me identify the taste of anger, and when it’s coming up and why. How to redirect what’s coming into something more positive. How to have the courage to walk away and not explode and upset people…

On the flip side… how to apologize if you do slip and really lose it on someone and how to approach them so you can work through it.

through medications - SSRI’s - benzos - AP’s or something else

A therapist often works. At least you may just need to get a lot of past issues off your chest to a supportive person. If you get a good therapist that understands Family Centered Dynamics. Where your family without knowing it treat you as the scape goat. And so you learn how to act and react to your family that has No Idea they are constantly talking down to you. And they well honestly swear that they don’t talk down to you. But you will notice it even though they don’t notice it.