I want to die, I want to die,
I can’t live anymore, life is not for me, I want to die
I want to die I want to die
hang on there friend its gonna be okay
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What happened Erez, tell us. 
I’m sorry, Erez, that you are feeling that way. Hold on and you will come out of that thinking. Do you take any antidepressants?
You don’t want to die.
You don’t want to die.
You don’t want to die.
Take a deep breath and another one. And another one.
You don’t want to die.
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Can your try distracting yourself until you feel better?
Talk to us @Chess24. We care. 
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You’ve been robbed Erez, robbed of your cognition, robbed of what you thought was life!
I have seen you over the few months i have been here, the hope and the reslience you once exclaimed. You claimed you of all people would never commit sucide, and you should not.
You have been robbed, as we all have. This illness is the epitome of stolen. A stolen life of potential, of what you dreamed as a kid of being. What we all dreamed of as individuals.
Stop thinking. Stop ruminating on the life you lost. You have to build afresh the dreams of your adulthood. This can be awesome and fuliflling. The dreams of childhood are for children. There is hope and there is a future for adults. OK, it is not the same as a child’s wishes, but this world is for men (and women)!
Adulthood is filled with compromise and realising the world is not as it should be. It is about understanding and limitation. It is about responsibility.
Understandig the self and what you could do is the next step, as it is for all of us in our limitations. What makes you happy? What makes you sad? Work on the happiness and life goes on.
Fight, fight , fight the good fight. Never give up! You have much to offer and the pessimsism turned to dust.
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@Chess24…please don’t give up! Life isn’t easy for any of us but giving up means we’ve lost the battle. We are all here for you to talk to. I don’t know if its allowed, but I’d even give you my phone number if you needed someone to talk to? A life is soooo much more important than privacy!! I truly do care, as I’m sure everyone else does too! 
️
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It’s all right, the luck I have is that I have difficult moments, lots of them, but the suffering isn’t constant.
Life is often bearable for me and sometimes unberable, and I somehow have to make peace with
these difficult moments and learn to live with them.
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I just want to say that I saw a selfie of you some time ago and I thought to myself hey this guy seems sure of himself and perhaps he is someone people would like to know in real life. I don’t judge solely by looks but if I feel that way then it is a certainty others do as well. Don’t give up on yourself as we aren’t giving up on you. :)
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I peed my pants when I was in kindergarten and wanted to die. The truth of it was I didn’t know myself well enough to make sure I went to the bathroom before I got to school. Having moments of wanting to die, from embarrassment, pride or pain, it can all pass.
Hi @Chess24, good morning. How are you??
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Hi @zeno, I don’t able to find PM option in your profile page.
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THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME. To cheer me up, the teacher put me in the corner of the classroom on a chair and put a dunce cap on my head. This is something you just don’t forget !
Despite that, I am still alive.
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Is this intrusive thoughts maybe? Those can be a problem with olanzapine. Consider, am I better on or off, and make the decision whether to continue. You don’t have to feel like this.
Think about it this way, life is bad now, but if you attempt to commit suicide and fail life could be worse. You could have an intellectual disability to add onto your cognitive impairment as a result of brain damage. You might be disfigured or disabled physically, and that would add to your grief.
Consider the lives of other people, I have a friend who suffers with multiple sclerosis, he is only 23 yet he’s worse off than many of us. His immune system attacks his brain and spinal chord, there are still scars on his brain from his previous episode. So he suffers from both his brain and body rebelling against him. In a number of decades it is very possible, even likely that he could lose his mobility and be in a wheelchair, this happens gradually so people realize with great pain the difficulties which progressively arise.
I would take sz over his illness any day. At least with sz we can do some limited things. We can get in relationships and get married. We can think somewhat clearly. We can even go into remission at any time.
My friend has multiple sclerosis for life. And he deals with depression, he deals with suicidal thoughts more severe than what I deal with with sz.
So put your suffering in perspective. Yes you may feel like you don’t belong in this life, yes you may feel totally hopeless, but there are those out there who are worse, suffering with rare illnesses who continue living. Out of respect for them follow their example.
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Anything can happen to improve your situation. As was the case in Lorenzo’s Oil.
like, when i go to websites to learn about drug development i often see drugs in the pipeline which are being developed for other rare diseases.
yes we suffer with stigma, yes our symptoms can be unbearable, yes we lose our logical thinking…
but what if we had down syndrome? or als? or rett syndrome?
or this condition which is associated with schizophrenia:
read about some of these illnesses and compare them to schizophrenia. many of us have it easy, even though our lives are unbearable
i forgot to consider that this might just be an intrusive thought you’re having, if it is it will eventually pass, don’t worry and don’t harm yourself in the meantime
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Hello @Chess24. I’m not going to tell you about other diseases and how much better off you are, because if you are feeling suicidal, you aren’t feeling better off, and none of that matters. If you are feeling suicidal, it is the worst of the worst for you, or you wouldn’t be feeling that way. Besides, feelings are subjective. It doesn’t matter if someone else “has it worse”, what matters is how you have it. I have a semi-colon tattoo in the outline of a heart on my wrist to remind me that life goes on, that suicide isn’t the answer. I’ve been there, and so, I’m sure, have many others on this board. I hope that you are okay. I am very worried. Is there someone that you trust that you can contact? What about a crisis hotline for your area? Is there anything I can do to help you?
I saw this after my post. Glad to see that you are feeling better. If you are getting to the point where you are feeling that down, though, maybe you should talk to someone. Very concerned!!!