The FBI never replied to me 
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My psychosis felt so good but thats dangerous. I felt like God and extremely high probably from too much dopamine. I was too grandiose.
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I remember that I fb messaged someone confessing that he’s been on my mind a lot, I’ve been thinking about him a lot. And this is a guy who is happily married. With a baby.
Well, actually, the first message was ‘shall I bring the mangoes?’ because the voice told me that was the code message for him to know that I’ve been hearing him in my head.
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I messaged girls out of nowhere: Lets go eat breakfast together. I havent spoken to them for years. I also messaged the son of a priest and told him that I want to be the highest priest in the church and to tell that to his father.
His father came to our house and asked me if I wanted to be a priest. I was out of my mind. I also wanted to be president of Germany, finding cancer cure, cure all mental illnesses and all illnesses, making miracles, bringing heaven to earth etc
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Did you accept the priest offer?
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No I didnt as I had too many plans in my head and never knew what I want.
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I went to arab churches in Germany and told them that a priest in Syria sent me to become a priest. They gave me free food and offered me free housing but I refused the housing as I missed my parents. I cant live without my parents
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I was scared that they would bring me to mental hospital too.
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Oh right, so you had some insight, it just seems like you were completely out of it.
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Did he get injured? Like seriously?
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My voices have never told me to kill. I am quite proud of that.
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I am not violent on my current meds, 4mg Risperdal. My family says that now I am the best they have seen of me since my sz symptoms appeared which was a few years before my 1st psychosis at 20.
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I told the voice please take my mum to hell instead of me.
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I still have bad thoughts sometimes like blaming my parents for giving me sz genes.
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Does sz run in your family?
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No one has any mental illness or genetic disease in both families but they can be carriers of inactive sz genes. These genes got activated in me.
I hope one day we will all understand the true cause behind sz. No one really knows.
@anon80629714, I’m sorry for derailing your thread a little bit.
It is nice to see you back on here. 
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I know, i know exactly what causes mental illness, it seems so simple to me but i doubt i’d be able to talk about it here on this forum, they will say i am feeding my own delusions but its not a delusion to me it is a fact of life.
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I have memory loss and have schizophrenia, but I also think I was droned by aliens or vril lizards at college (sometimes at least most days) and possibly cloned. That’s why I got some like AI consciousness or lizard consciousness going on and I keep going back in time after they cloned and droned me. The old me is gone I guess and I cannot go back to my childhood or remeber it or anything. I feel like 2 different people. I was an Atheist at the time in college, ended up believing in God and simulation theory, and now I’m a Christian. Because of my 2-dimensional vision and sensory issues, I think I was in hell for years because of solipsism and DP/DR. I thought stuff like mk-ultra happened to me.
Maybe I was targeted by aliens or was targeted by Illuminati or something. I don’t know.
My biggest dream is to go back in time before all of this and re-experience life as a new born but the aliens uploaded my consciousness to a computer and keep taking it and sending it back through time. For the longest time (seems like eternity) it feels like trillions of loops backwards in time like time is being reset in the movie “Edge of Tomorrow” theme. I have delusions too and I think I experienced real trauma but there is no evidence or proof except what my delusions and “memories” tell me. I tried getting help for the past 9 years.
2015 was my second worst psychosis and I felt like I was trapped at the mental hospital with criminals there and they were going to hurt me. That’s about it.
2016 I saw a rectangular UFO that said I helped develop or design (I have delusions I did in another life) and that it made me crazy by going inside my head and saying something like “remember what happened at college”. I don’t know if it’s aliens or not. I have delusions of aliens and time travel and simulation theory among other things.
Since 2017, I started getting better. I am healing.
I had severe severe dissociation that caused mental pain and agony and messed up sensory input (eyes, touch, etc.) like I was dead or something and was just existing as a 2-dimensional information on the edge of a black hole…
thats sounds very manic like in that psychosis. very grandiose
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