Do you remember your psychosis

The FBI never replied to me :slightly_frowning_face:

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My psychosis felt so good but thats dangerous. I felt like God and extremely high probably from too much dopamine. I was too grandiose.

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I remember that I fb messaged someone confessing that he’s been on my mind a lot, I’ve been thinking about him a lot. And this is a guy who is happily married. With a baby.

Well, actually, the first message was ‘shall I bring the mangoes?’ because the voice told me that was the code message for him to know that I’ve been hearing him in my head.

:smile:

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I messaged girls out of nowhere: Lets go eat breakfast together. I havent spoken to them for years. I also messaged the son of a priest and told him that I want to be the highest priest in the church and to tell that to his father.

His father came to our house and asked me if I wanted to be a priest. I was out of my mind. I also wanted to be president of Germany, finding cancer cure, cure all mental illnesses and all illnesses, making miracles, bringing heaven to earth etc

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Did you accept the priest offer?

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No I didnt as I had too many plans in my head and never knew what I want.

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I went to arab churches in Germany and told them that a priest in Syria sent me to become a priest. They gave me free food and offered me free housing but I refused the housing as I missed my parents. I cant live without my parents :slightly_frowning_face:

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I was scared that they would bring me to mental hospital too.

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Oh right, so you had some insight, it just seems like you were completely out of it.

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It fluctuated, sometimes I had insight sometimes I didnt at all like throwing knives at my brother. I lose my mind completely sometimes when psychotic.

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Did he get injured? Like seriously?

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My voices have never told me to kill. I am quite proud of that.

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Just a scratch on his arm, he bled a bit. My parents threatened to call cops, they did but didnt tell them what I did. They told me that I have to take my pills otherwise I cant live with them. Cops calmed me and told me to never stop my meds again.

It was 2 police cars, 4 cops, I think my mother told them that I am violent when she called them. They brought me to the emergency. The cops stayed with me until an emergency psychiatrist gave me pills. They kept watching me while I was with the psychiatrist.

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I am not violent on my current meds, 4mg Risperdal. My family says that now I am the best they have seen of me since my sz symptoms appeared which was a few years before my 1st psychosis at 20.

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I told the voice please take my mum to hell instead of me.

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I still have bad thoughts sometimes like blaming my parents for giving me sz genes.

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Does sz run in your family?

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No one has any mental illness or genetic disease in both families but they can be carriers of inactive sz genes. These genes got activated in me.

I hope one day we will all understand the true cause behind sz. No one really knows.

@anon80629714, I’m sorry for derailing your thread a little bit.

It is nice to see you back on here. :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

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I know, i know exactly what causes mental illness, it seems so simple to me but i doubt i’d be able to talk about it here on this forum, they will say i am feeding my own delusions but its not a delusion to me it is a fact of life.

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