I keep a Journal about my stress levels, voices, how I’m feeling. I try to do it every day but it’s hard because I’m forgetful but iv seen it help me somewhat in understanding myself. So do you guys keep one? And what about and how often, and does it help you?
This is today’s so far on my phones notes
“Feeling soo edgy. Iv been trying to manage it by trying to act normal (fake) but it’s leaning me over the edge. I’ve reduced the conversations I have with them by 50% and talking to electronics 100% but this is getting severely bothersome. The voices are pushing me more and more to talk to them and trying to bring up the aliens and electronics several times a day. I’m going to flip out… paranoia at 60% from 100 before meds. Don’t want to go back to pysch ward ever again. I don’t want to hurt anyone or myself but they keep pushing me occasionally but less often now to hurt people. To myself seldomly only if I ignore them completely for more than half the day. If I do ignore them half way into it, it’s more of an hourly thing of them telling me to hurt myself. So solution keep talking to them regularly.”
I’m sorry to hear you’re having such a rough time, but yeah I think journaling can be helpful, just getting it out on paper. I used to keep a journal, years ago, need to start doing it again. It feels weird when I go back and read journal entries from during my first psychotic break, which was not too long before I started journaling less and eventually stopped. I wrote some pretty wild stuff during that break.
I have 2 journals… one is writing and the other is drawings… I keep track of my days in the writing one and emotions in the drawings cause I can’t seem to put my emotions in words…
I kept a journal since about the time I first got sick in 2002 or so. Unfortunately I threw out some of them when I got better so I lost valuable information from my first breakdown. But in 2005 I started keeping a journal again and never stopped after that. I am now writing in Journal no. 29.
I don’t think I could survive without writing. It’s in my blood and is an extension of me. I found writing kept me sane throughout my life, my illness and marriage. Without it is would cut much more and maybe would have tried suicide too. It’s my therapist. Truly.
Yeah journals are great, but it’s always weird for me to read back some of the things like did I seriously come up with this? But it’s helping me understand myself. Hope others keep a journal
I kept one until I noticed they were quoting it on to catch a predator now not so much I don’t keep one anymore dateline NBC s show the one about perverts they embellished the scenario
i use to journal quite a big but i lost my journals when i moved out of my parents house and in with my in laws because i was sick of my partner fighting with my brother and mom. (i know big mistake) anyway my brother threw out all the journals and then i started to keep a journal again and i did for maybe a year but i quickly lost track of time and it turned into a disaster after my in laws found it and read it so i stopped keeping a journal for fear others will read it.
my current therapist wants me to start a new journal but i haven’t done it yet.
I journal every single day. I have been journaling daily since my first psychotic break a year and a half ago. I have filled up many journals. Being the crazy-case that I am, I fill up a journal and then throw it in the recycle bin because I am convinced ‘they’ are going to retrieve it and keep it as a part of history.
I would draw. That sounds relaxing and fun but I literally can’t draw anything except stick figures. I suck. Kinda takes the fun out of it.
I keep a journal where I pray my Lectio Divina everyday. This is a journal where God Himself speaks to me. And I speak back to Him. I pray in this journal every day, in the morning usually. I have stacks of them.
Today, I went to a one on one counseling session with my drug and alcohol counselor. She asked me about how I was doing and I felt comfortable opening up to her about my mental health and schizoaffective diagnosis. Turns out her bio mom has the same thing. So we clicked on that. She told me I was more high functioning than a lot of people without mental illness. She said being employed is huge. She gave me instructions to write and read and journal daily about how my mental health felt on a 1-10. And if I’m stable or not and if not then how can I be stable again. So here goes:
I would rate my mental health at a 7 today. I feel well rested but am getting cabin fever. And some visual and auditory hallucinations. The visuals I get with running, I ran today for the first time in a long time, and it hurt. My lungs were on fire. I want to do it again though because it’s such a great, healthy activity. I love it. Sweet release of energy. I’ll get better, right?
Another question I am trying to solve is am I an alcoholic? Alcohol may have caused my last medicine, Invega, to stop working. I was recently switched to Abilify. I am drawn to alcohol for its sociable properties, but I believe I may have overdone it in the past. Blacking out in college, peeing in the garbage can, trying to fight one of my best friends, and that’s only what I remember. And following my dx, I would drink as much as I could every day to forget. Have a beer at home, take a shot at the bar, followed by more beer or cocktails. Ugh I’d like to think I don’t struggle with alcoholism because everyone drinks too much in their 20’s…
I think I’m stable today because I can ask and answer that myself. I want to work on communicating better and socializing. It’s something I am not super pro at. Again just feeding my ego here to make me happy. All in all a good life is within reach if you want it, living with schizophrenia.
