I don’t think that I’m terribly different in central character from the person I was when I was about 13 or 14 years old. I think that I’ve gotten more understanding, and maybe even some wisdom.
If we are talking about before and after psychosis (at 31), it does feel sort of dependent to be dependent on medication by a controlled substance (in my case, Haldol). I’ve accepted that I am not an Island, despite that old song.
I feel that medication is preferable to being hit hard in the head, as I was near the end of my psychotic episode in 2007. Maybe it knocked some sense into me temporarily; but, medication seems like a better long-term solution, to me. That spot on my head still itches sometimes.(Unlike the “Clint” in the movies, a pretty lady didn’t cognitively recalibrate me.)
At least some of my ability to think in quick, short spurts seems to have returned after I got prescribed slightly lower doses of Haldol, and started drinking coffee.
(Edit) So, no, I guess I don’t really miss the old me.
(/Edit)