The old me was funny and cheerful, positive and introverted.
I mean, with my first symtomps of schizophrenia, I changed completely, now I’m medicated, but I can never go back to being her.
4 Likes
Yes I miss it I use to be motivated and carefree
1 Like
I miss it so much. I was so capable. So involved with life. Now I just barely get by.
2 Likes
Yeah, i was way more compassionate, positive and motivated before. Im like a totally different person now too.
1 Like
It’s been so long, 11 years now. I don’t remember myself and who I was. I struggled with depression, then I was prodromal.
I have an inner strength when it comes to combating this illness now. With meds and not letting my mind wander into odd places, I’m stronger because of that.
2 Likes
Kinda I guess. I miss laughing with friends and the connection with people. I’m disconnected as hell. I still kinda get by, but there is a real emptiness there.
1 Like
I try not to think about it anymore. It doesn’t bring anything positive or good to me, only negativity to my current state. Normies say that the past is passed. I think that’s applicable to disability especially - health has passed and it’s of no benefit to feel sorry for yourself for it (in my case)
1 Like
The old me was an alcoholic drug user. The current me is a family man and professional and I am respected in my community. I like me now better.
8 Likes
Without meds, I’m weird and think I’m doing government work and solving puzzles.
While I do have a high IQ, and I did have the highest standing in my college graduation class, I’m not in intelligence for the government. I’m not solving anything
I’m unable to do that type of work due to my many imperfections.
I went back and forth before meds trying to tell myself I couldn’t really be doing it and yes I was doing it. It was a constant battle. I’m relieved to be lowly old me now.
So no. I don’t miss the old me. Not one bit.
3 Likes
my old me is still here but buried, i feel like he is hiding in the background trying to help me along the way. e has come out of his shell a little bit over the years, i seem to have rediscovered the old me, that is a good thing for me.
1 Like
No I prefer myself on meds, i just feel happier than in my teens overall.
2 Likes
Everyday I think of this
I want my life back
Yes I miss the old one. I was more motivated. I could easily hold up conversations even with unknown people. alot slower now
My schizophrenia seems to have started around my 17 birthday.
As a child I was a conservative. I thought drug dealers should be shot. I had little trouble standing up or speaking up for myself. I didn’t especially try to avoid criticism from others. I had a strong sense of self.
Now I am 74 years old. I have had nearly 60 years of schizophrenia. I have voted, when I was able to vote, almost exclusively with thought to liberal ideas. I now take criticism with very much pain. I tiptoe around angry people now. Don’t rock the boat, don’t tip the boat over.
I miss some of my ability to deal with others. I had a sense of confidence in my abilities that I do not have now.
I’ve always been very introverted so if anything over the years I’ve had a better social life but I do miss the old me. I grieve myself even after all these years. My creative side has changed too.
Even before the severe mental illness I was an undxed autistic person . So have never been conventionally ‘normal’ . The SMI just added an extra layer to being markedly different than most other people.
The old me is dead and buried
But still think about things I did and said that I regret
1 Like
I don’t think that I’m terribly different in central character from the person I was when I was about 13 or 14 years old. I think that I’ve gotten more understanding, and maybe even some wisdom.
If we are talking about before and after psychosis (at 31), it does feel sort of dependent to be dependent on medication by a controlled substance (in my case, Haldol). I’ve accepted that I am not an Island, despite that old song.
I feel that medication is preferable to being hit hard in the head, as I was near the end of my psychotic episode in 2007. Maybe it knocked some sense into me temporarily; but, medication seems like a better long-term solution, to me. That spot on my head still itches sometimes.(Unlike the “Clint” in the movies, a pretty lady didn’t cognitively recalibrate me.)
At least some of my ability to think in quick, short spurts seems to have returned after I got prescribed slightly lower doses of Haldol, and started drinking coffee.
(Edit) So, no, I guess I don’t really miss the old me.
(/Edit)
Yes and no.
I was a lot more emboldened back before I got ill, so I kinda took the world by the balls— but that also meant I was doing a lotttt more stupid stuff, some of which could have gone very badly (and luckily didn’t).
I cringe now at the person I was before diagnosis, but also miss certain aspects of my previous self.
4 Likes
You couldn’t pay me a million dollars to go back to my teen years. Definitely much happier now.