Difficulty being agnostic/atheist

DX'd - Other
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Something I’m starting to notice, having a lot of religious folks in my family. Most people don’t seem to give a ■■■■, but it’s a major disconnect from people in the long term.

On one hand atheism feels great. Nothing to fear(also nothing to take comfort in aka gods “love”)

I mean I’m more agnostic when it really comes down to it, but in my experience there has been no indication of anything greater than human intelligence aside from the sheer number of people who believe there is.

But after a long day out of the house I returned to my room and laid on my bed. Staring at the ceiling. Then I found myself asking out loud “is there a god?”

Maybe it would be easier to just believe there is.

But then I got into more questions, like what is the nature of this god? Is it like the Christian God? Is it purely just a creator or is it also the manager.

Nah there is no one managing this ■■■■ show.

My voices are dumb as hell, if they were smarter like a truly separate and ancient intelligence they could have probably talked me into killing myself a few times over.

It’s kind of arrogant to say that I’m rational and open minded, because that would mean that other people are wrong for not being so.

Man life was definitely better before sz.

You all believe in a telepathic God ruler of the cosmos?

I mean it pretty much boils down to physics, economics, psychology. If you really want to understand how the world works.

Well I’m losing track of my point here.

Religion isn’t going to go away… It’s something I’m going to have to think about for the rest of my life.

Maybe the real issue here is that I see everyone else as being so much happier and fit for life. Utterly stupid at the same time. No offense intended to anyone I’m pretty stupid too.

I just rationalize things differently than other people. Can’t really find anyone to relate to, people don’t wear there believes in there sleeves, well tolerable people don’t anyway. Gotta probe for people’s beliefs and that can be sensitive.

I just had a trippy conversation with my grand ma the other week.

“Well God has a plan for you”

“you never know what’s up there trying to destroy you”

Crazy talk.

Why the ■■■■ doesn’t god just put ■■■■ in order?

The only answer I can see is that things are more interesting this way. Then I fall back to my atheist rationalization that we exist in a small ordered patch of existence inside a likely infinite amount of chaotic recombinations.

I certainly don’t hate god, but he just makes no sense. Makes the universe make less sense when you include him or it.

One thing that does boggle me is evolution. I completely understand the mechanisms and they are proven to work, but it’s just really ■■■■■■■ crazy that things take to certain shapes and these shapes are transferable generation to generation. It’s just amazing. Linear chemical code is capable of coordinating the shape of cellular clusters and organs. When I look at a cat it is like, they have whiskers. Special hairs that grow only where they need to grow. Well I guess I don’t really know when whiskers first developed in the tree of life. It does make sense that an animal that had them would outlive a similar animal that didn’t. But just looking at the end product of evolution, it’s like damn someone put this ■■■■ together…
Then science comes in and shows how it operates entirely unconsciously and automatically as a process of chemicals.

■■■■, yeah I’m an atheist. I do question it sometimes though, wish I didn’t have to.

Live and let live I guess.

Btw spending an eternity in hell is completely out of proportion for anything that you could do in 60 to 100 years on this planet. The people who wrote that ■■■■ were assholes who knew that the masses will simply believe what they are told. They were trying to control them and guess what it didn’t really work. Religion did nothing to stop the forces of “evil” and in some cases instigated it itself.

This world kind of sucks you know, life doesn’t suck, but the world is slow to change and holds onto to the past with an iron grip. I guess the world has pretty much forgiven Germany.

It’s just that nothing will change it. I can imagine the ideal life with the ideal culture and from that the ideal society. I can see it but I’ll never live it. That’s what sucks.

I do believe the world will move in that direction, but it’s gonna take a long time.

Makes me want to believe in reincarnation, but what is the point if you don’t remember it. You probably live a series of short shitty lives before you got set up with a good one again. The way this world is.

This is supposed to be about atheism, but I know a lot of you on the boards probably don’t care to read about that.

To some extent it’s impossible to avoid making people question their beliefs. I’m not trying to convert anyone here, but I will say just being around religiosity makes me wonder if I should take another look at things and there is a lot of religiosity on this board.

Anyways I may burn in hell for not playing God’s little game, but if that’s the case so be it. I won’t take the concept of free will for granted, I will find my own path.

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I guess I’m just in ideological minority which lacks the backbone of a community that rivaling ideologies have established. Internet communication just doesn’t really cut it. I want real life experiences with likeminded individuals. It’s going to take a long time to find and establish satisfying friendships. I mean those who are religious do make it more interesting, but I just don’t really relate to the experience of those people. I’ve got a small group of people who see things similarly to me but that group is still few and far between.

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I think it would be fun to believe in Christianity. I mean, the whole religion is based on a zombie who is the son of an ■■■■■■■ that occasionally kills off or just screws with his own creations for the fun of it.

Apparently God has a plan. This plan involves a lot of people dying…THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is terrorism…and a sin and should not go unpunished.

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hey apokalypz ,

if you see aYlias tell her I said whats up …

also that I lyke tha I MISS YOU songgG …

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I miss the comfort of being able to pray to God to help me and fix this and that. Turning from it initially killed my hope. But I’ve come to terms with it.

I even tried to believe in god again but I just can’t my brain won’t let me do it. It just doesn’t making any ■■■■■■■ sense anymore.

I’d put myself in the agnostic category

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Yeah agnostic is the way to be, ultimately no one can know they can only believe.

Maybe that is why it is possible for people to get along.

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My dad’s a very devout Christian. And the first time I told him I was open to the possibility of heaven and he’ll not being real. Or god. And I said I still want to be a good person and to help others in this world.

First thing he says to me… what’s the point though? If there’s no god then who cares? Why be a good person? You can do whatever you want.

basically he was probably shocked I’d even question what I was taught and reacted in a defensive way.

But at the same time he understands why I believe the way I do now due to having my world shattered into a billion pieces several times because of religious delusions and hallucinations.

My family line has generations upon generations of very religious christians

Morals should be there regardless

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i do wonder about it sometimes…mostly when i’m pondering the shitty hand i and my family have been dealt but then i look at other people around the world that are far worse of than me and i think maybe it’s not so bad afterall. god has played no part in my life, just evil men and i do wonder how a benevolent god can allow child sex abuse to happen at all but when i look at the story of adam and eve and the mechanics of how they were supposed to populate the earth it kinda makes you wonder about the sexual orientation of a god in the first place. afterall there would’ve have to have been incest at the very least to get the human population off the ground and that pisses me off big time. if god were a human in this day and age he’d be locked up for child abuse and yet christians of all denominations worship this being? it’s sick. what kind of deity needs, neigh demands that you worship him and place him above all others, you’ve gotta be pretty ■■■■■■ up to need that kind of adoration and unquestionable devotion right? it makes you woner what kind of being needs that kind of worship and the answer is not very pretty. the excuse of free will is a cop out on god’s part i think. it’s almost like a vanity game and we, the masses fall for it if we believe in this deity. and what of the story of jesus christ. why would you even need to sacrifice your own son in the first place? all it tells me is that god didn’t give a ■■■■ about himin the first lace which kinda sucks i think. yet another absentee father paying no maintenance and yet still being loved for allowing his only son to die…and of course it had to be a son right and not a daughter. the bible smacks of a power trip from a vain, ego driven being that is a control freak where his "children are concerned. i could go on all day at the injustice of there being a god at all, esecially a benevolent one. where was he when a child was being abused? nowhere in sight, that’s where. i hate god for allowing this to happen to innocent children. why strike down the innocent and not the perpetrator (s); it my well be that being given free will is a test sent to tempt us into the wrong path or just ignoring what ales you. ofcourse there are multiple religions scattered across the world and they can’t all be right and to be honest, it’s not for me but then i look round at the mathematical model and it all seems to be a mathematical equation as it is in a virtual reality program, which if true basically means that god, allah, whatever you want to call him is just a jumped up software engineer, coding history as we speak. that’s my take on it anyway. it a;so makes him a peadophile, rapist and murderer otherwise these things wouldn’t be written in to the program. i don’t believe there is any such thing as free will. i thnk it’s all pre determined, unless of course you have time travel. then and only then can you change the past present or future/ god is a wanker so far as i can see. he’s just like the lil fat dude in jurassic park, playing atound with the software to make life for us sims interesting. that’s my take on it anyway.

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That’s one of the main things that steers me away from religion. How do you choose which one is right? I don’t know what this whole religion thing gets to me. Especially recently. I just hate hallucinating. In my mind it’s like fear leads to hallucination and hallucination leads to fear. If I could just find something worth thinking about maybe I could take my mind off this ■■■■ and just relax. Maybe I need to up the dose of my meds. Really would rather not but at least Itd give me a secure feeling.

4 hours, I’ve been sitting here hearing voices for 4 hours. They just don’t give up. They don’t fade away. It’s still a lot better than the first year and a half of this ■■■■.

Religion freaks me out. To think people actually believe that ■■■■. That it’s a reality to them. Man trippy ■■■■. I don’t even see demons in my dreams anymore. Got rid of all that ■■■■ by not believing in it.

There’s just not enough going on in my days. I don’t even want to think about this crap any more.

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That kind of lifted my spirits.

Yeah religion is dumb.

I just know that my mind has the power to hallucinate. It’s not such a matter of what’s real or more about what I can believe or imagine. ■■■■ what’s going on in my head is complicated right now. Knowing with almost absolute certainty that there is nothing to be afraid of, yet still being afraid because I know of the possibilities. The essence of paranoia.

Anyways thanks Jayne. The whole God thing doesn’t make any sense you’ve cleared things up for me.

I shouldn’t have started this thread. I apologize if any one was offended that wasn’t my point. Just going through a late night pondering the nature of our existence.

How do you know that God has saved you? How can you say with any confidence your going to heaven?

■■■■ I should just stop. That was rhetoric don’t answer.

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Do you ever try talking to the voices in your head? Maybe try to get them to admit that they are just your brain. If they would admit it maybe you can tell them now you know what’s up and maybe they will settle and quiet down

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Don’t really form words any more unless I focus on them. They always used to say, this is your brain stem. Still annoying to hear anything at all. If I quit playing solitaire or talking on this site then I have nothing to do but listen to that ■■■■.

It’s kind of weird, my minds been strangled, I barely have room to think, it feels like I seldom do think anymore.

The days are much better than the nights.

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The story of Christ works for me as a metaphor. I don’t subscribe to a literal interpretation of the Bible, though. No thinking person can.

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It’s very interesting how you’ve put it. I’d read rest of your topic tomorrow but at the moment I want to share a quote from Nietzsche: If you want to achieve peace of mind and happiness, have faith. If you want to be a disciple of truth, then search.

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Thoughtful post there. There are many religions started my MEN that are dead and buried and are still fought over.

But Christianity was started by Jesus Christ our Lord, sent by God the Father to die for our sins. He can also live as spirit in our hearts and minds.

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