Ovwr the past 7 years it seems like ive destrpyed my confidence, health, and mind trying to dig inside myself looking for answers and undersranding. I’ve neglected so much of my real life and good things I had searching the pain for truth. I don’t understand it. I’m not who I once was and Idk if I ever will be.
I used to be strong hard headed and unmoved by the world, now I feel like I’m just a big washed up pussy. I feel utterly beat down. My body my head and my brain hurts. My soul hurts
I feel u man. I really do…
Your body replenishes evrry cell every 7 years, it’s thecycle of life. No surprise you don’t feel the same as you once did, it’s natures way of moving forward.
You’d think I’d feel better lol
It can go either way I guess. If we never changed, we’d still be in díapers.
That is true. I doubt I’ll make it here long enough to be back in diapers
You’d be surprised at how fast life goes, plan as if you’re going to live untill your 100 years old, that way you won’t still be struggling at 82 wondering what happened (like my dad and aunt).
I think I got to a point where I realized all the self analysis in the world wasn’t going to cure me. However I did gain a lot of helpful information from it like learning my triggers, dangerous situations, warning signs of an oncoming episode, different patterns, etc. So it’s definitely not a bad thing to know yourself. But if you’re trying to look for one particular reason as to why you’re messed up it’s pointless. There’s too many possible different factors.
Can you shrink your world a little? Try to minimize everything so that you have as little outside noise as possible and then let yourself recoup. That often helps me.
Thank you 
you’re right!
That’s what I’m trying to do but the pressure is insane atm
Write everything down in a journal that you think of, it will help take these thoughts and instead of ruminating about them like a NASCAR race track of unwanted thoughts in your head, put them on paper, and let them go. It has helped me tremendously. Keep your head up! At least none of us (At least I hope not) are rectal thermometer testers for medical equipment, like come on lol it could be worse. So if you think the world is on your shoulders, the entire WORLD’S WEIGHT, take a deep breath and write down what is on your mind and keep it safely stored, relay your thoughts to psychiatrist and psychologist, and try Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, it helps! Good luck!
Thanks alot. I do these things and it helps. I start suffering more when I get fed up having to be so complex and weird and I throw all my coping mechisms out the window
Is there a particular train of thought causing you trouble or is it just a lot of questions all together?
Here with you man,
these past four weeks I’ve been crushed under a rock,
For a long time I had many defeats/having a will to live / so to speak and been through many times finding and emerging in new grounds,
Different attitudes and moods and ways I see the whole picture and my life.
And I’m starting to actually believe and understand this may never end.
And I’m going through all the actions and emotions of that.
I’m in a bad place myself.
Hang in there man,
Even if you are the biggest pussy in the universe today,
Your just at a low, and I think it’s ok to be at a low you know.
Because I swear to god,
You are real, man, and strength can’t be defined/ it’s probably is your own uniqueness and style at this point.
Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.
Madness is the 1st or 2nd worst mental illness in this world,
And it takes way more than “guts” to get through it.
Hoping you the best man. Hoping you the best.
Thanks brother. Holler at me anytime
Pressure, noise/voices and head pain and sensations mostly . I’m the time that needs pure silence and some crickets and space to clear my head and it seems like I can’t find that lately.
I’ve been trying to pray more. Everyrhing feels in vain
It’s funny. (Not funny you feel bad just in how we are different) When I get like that, I need music. I guess it is sort of the same if you think about it. But I put on my noise cancelling headphones and listen to music so I don’t have to listen to myself think.
My voices are very snakish and do alot of harm harassment wise. I enjoy music as well but they see it as a time to get as close as possible
My voices are like that too. Technically voice. I can only remember one consistent voice. I guess since it is me, it really knows how to hurt me. Sometimes I almost admire how good it is at making me feel horrible. It often seems smarter than me. Like if I was trying to mentally torture someone for some weird reason, I don’t think I could do nearly as good of a job.