Schizophrenia.com

Demigod or energy vampier... both trigger


#1

Demigods have been triggering my panic mode. I have been feeing severe disconnection from myself. It’s like an out of body experience that just drains my energy. I’ve been acing out a bit and I just don’t feel completely in control when the Demigods are around. Plus I’m irritated and a upset when one is around.

The Demigod is still around. I’ve told my sis about the narcissism and how many books and sites have been reaffirming that narcissist are simply incapable of caring for others. So far my reading has been saying that… They can only use others for their own purposes and have no care or time for the feelings of others.

We’ve both been fairly blunt I think. We’ve been trying to get him to just go away. Why won’t he just go away? Is it lack of insight? He has insight to his SZ which is why he goes to an Sz group. But still… since he is a demigod among us mere mortals… why does he come here? He’s not allowed into the house. My sis respects that and won’t bring him in. But he still comes by.

My brother who is just one year younger is also calling me more often to tell me how he’s richer then me, smarter then me and I’m not worth his time… then why call me?

Both of them just make me so tired. It takes a while to sit and recharge my batteries after dealing with either of them. When my energy is low, my head circus likes to amp up. It’s like they suck all the energy right out of me.

I’m trying very very hard NOT to think they are doing this on purpose. But it feels like they are trying to make me ill… on purpose.

I feel like it’s a waiting game… I just give in… “Yes… you are super and amazing and smarter then everyone on the planet and the best looking human on the planet, and all should recognize your superiority. I sure do… I recognize your superiority… so Please go away and stand over there and be super and I’ll just go hit the waves.”

The part that is SO puzzling too is… the fist demigod broke up with my sis. He’s the one who told her she wasn’t worthy… then why come over? Why ask me about her at group? Why try and call her? If she’s not worthy… then why bother? I’ve been so tired lately.


#2

Try to distance yourself from this. Trying to understand behaviors that don’t make sense can be an uphill battle. I don’t think they are doing it on purpose. They are too self-absorbed right now to see what it is doing to you. This boy’s actions may be symptoms of his SZ rather then narcissism. Once I looked up psychopath… Unfortunately at the time my son was exhibiting these symptoms but they were being caused by his psychosis. A lot of ego, lack of insight and a very small view of the world. The ego can be part of grandiose delusions regarding self.

If you have to, turn off the phones, take more walks or baths but don’t let these feelings build up and start messing with your paranoia or head circus. Unfortunately we cannot control other people so you will need to find a way to cope until things start to slow down again. And I think they will just not fast enough for you to be happy about it :smile:


#3

Hey J - This guy could have a strong bipolar element to him. Mania can make people feel invincible, self absorbed, grandiose, arrogant etc - etc I know all about mania. Please try to ignore his behaviour, for your own sanity.
I just wanted to add that I hope you feel better with what is going on


#4

Thank you for that… for shout out and the insight. I’m working on it. I feel like I’m floating out of my body watching myself acting like an idiot again. It feels like a five year olds temper tantrum is coming on.

The sanity has slipped a few times… The word Narcissist turned into Sadist which turned into Ted Bundy which got me right back to Kidnapper. Round and round the wheel spins. I’ve talked myself down, my sis has talked me down. My brother has talked me down…

Logically I know the guy is not a kidnapper. Plus I just have to trust that my sis can hold her own. But the word Kidnapper is the spark that cues the circus music… Plus I feel bad for having such a negative opinion of a person who is also suffering through this. Irritated, self-disappointed and tired.

I just can’t get over this question… If this guy thinks my sis is such a looser… then why even contact her in any way? If he’s NOT interested in any simple friendship… why drive over here? (we live on a dead end point… no one just “happens to be passing” it takes some work to get out here.)

I’ve been pondering this to the point of sleep walking again, and I’ve been waking up on the floor in the front room.

I would never wish ill will to befall another person, but I will rejoice when this person decides to just go away.


#5

Even if this guy has problems, you still have to take care of yourself first. You can still be compassionate and say " Go away!" You are right about your sister–she can handle herself and the situation. You do not have to deal with this guy if you do not want to. Dont feel guilty and you also dont have to take him on. I wish you well and a good night`s rest.


#6

I have been trying to stop pondering this odd behavior out of people. But I’m still hung up on it. So many other things have been happening in life and it seems the better things have been getting for me… the more others want to come around and tell me how worthless I am.


#7

Others don’t determine your self-worth. You do. You have come too far to let anyone bring you back down. Start a list of all the things that you have accomplished and continue to accomplish. I’m sure kidsis could help with that. An ego, a new car or a big house doesn’t make someone an awesome person. You are true to yourself. You are the awesome person.


#8

I’ve been called an energy vampire before.

But that was only after two bouts of homelessness and two psychoses that nearly killed me, i became dead inside, i just shut down and hate everything now because of pain.

Maybe they are similar?


#9

I can understand that… if there is nothing inside you suck in the energy around you to fill the hollow space.


#10

But it was stolen from me, i was so happy before all of this, completely content and energetic and active.


#11

I understand that it was taken from you. I get that part. Do you think there is anyway to get any or it back?


#12

nah, the beating just continues on and on, can’t heal just getting beaten forever.


#13

**Look at anyone that has something good going on for themselves. People gravitate towards them. Even the ones who dont have anything. My youngest daughter is like that. She has a light inside of her that attracts everyone. She doesnt have to say anything-it is just there. Reading your posts, I would have to say you also have a great light. People who have that don` t have to talk about. I hope you can get some relief for yourself. Wishing peace for you…think I rambled too much;{


#14

AND-you are NOT worthless ( which you already know! )