Demigods have been triggering my panic mode. I have been feeing severe disconnection from myself. It’s like an out of body experience that just drains my energy. I’ve been acing out a bit and I just don’t feel completely in control when the Demigods are around. Plus I’m irritated and a upset when one is around.
The Demigod is still around. I’ve told my sis about the narcissism and how many books and sites have been reaffirming that narcissist are simply incapable of caring for others. So far my reading has been saying that… They can only use others for their own purposes and have no care or time for the feelings of others.
We’ve both been fairly blunt I think. We’ve been trying to get him to just go away. Why won’t he just go away? Is it lack of insight? He has insight to his SZ which is why he goes to an Sz group. But still… since he is a demigod among us mere mortals… why does he come here? He’s not allowed into the house. My sis respects that and won’t bring him in. But he still comes by.
My brother who is just one year younger is also calling me more often to tell me how he’s richer then me, smarter then me and I’m not worth his time… then why call me?
Both of them just make me so tired. It takes a while to sit and recharge my batteries after dealing with either of them. When my energy is low, my head circus likes to amp up. It’s like they suck all the energy right out of me.
I’m trying very very hard NOT to think they are doing this on purpose. But it feels like they are trying to make me ill… on purpose.
I feel like it’s a waiting game… I just give in… “Yes… you are super and amazing and smarter then everyone on the planet and the best looking human on the planet, and all should recognize your superiority. I sure do… I recognize your superiority… so Please go away and stand over there and be super and I’ll just go hit the waves.”
The part that is SO puzzling too is… the fist demigod broke up with my sis. He’s the one who told her she wasn’t worthy… then why come over? Why ask me about her at group? Why try and call her? If she’s not worthy… then why bother? I’ve been so tired lately.