There is a guy from my Sz group who has been around just bragging it up. I don’t do well with this constant level of bragging. It really does feel like bullying after a while… (I just have to come around one more time and tell you that I’m better then you in every way.) It makes me nauseous and I end up blocking them out. I just feel queazy around over the top braggers.
I asked the forum for an idea and gotten some reading and I was sure he was just demigod narcissistic. My sis held fast and firm to the belief of him being symptomatic.
I threw her lack of mental illness in her face. I told her that I’M the one with Sz not her… so I KNOW this guy is just being a narcissist demigod. She was still convinced he was displaying signs of crumbling… and against my request… she continued to offer the hand of friendship. She did distance herself, but she said she could still be nice to this person. I really wanted this guy to just go far far away.
He is a very fit guy, but he is NOT a swimmer. Three times he has come to the pool where my sis works and hasn’t listened to my sis and three times he’s almost drowned and three times my sis and the other guards have had to do a rescue.
Yesterday was the third rescue and it was bad enough that they called 911 and he got taken to hospital for drowning observation (make sure there is no water in the lungs). We were thinking that he would probably be observed for other conditions and admitted. But no. He was checked out as physically fine, and released.
Last night, he’s pounded on our door and said that he is SO MAD at my sis for pulling him out of the water and putting him in the hospital that he will never speak to her again. Two weeks ago, this would have been the music to my ears.
Now that I see he thinks he can walk on water, and stop cars with the power of his mind, he’s above the law, he’s immune to physical injury… he’s going to get seriously injured if not dead. Now I’m actually worried for the guy and I wish there was a way to help him. Now I’m wishing there was a way to help out.
I also feel very bad for being a jerk to my kid sis. I’ve written this lesson down… just because someone hasn’t suffered from SZ doesn’t mean they can’t recognize suffering in others.
I have to go back soon. I’ve been avoiding the group due to this person. But it’s time to go back. I’m wondering if 3 near drownings might have opened his eyes a bit. If it hasn’t, I’m thinking of a discrete word in the ear of the therapist.
I’m also surprised with myself because My sis was unshakable in her decision that this guy was becoming delusional. I can’t believe I actually told her… “You’re not SZ, so you wouldn’t know.”
Very uncharacteristic for me. Half of me is glad he might never speak to us again. I’m going to try and make it up to my sis and see if that makes me feel better first.
I think you have a great idea with the discrete word to the therapist. This guy needs help, whether he’s delusional or a sociopath. Something tells me that the near-drowning incidents won’t shake his grandiose views of himself.
Other than the therapist, I wouldn’t get any more involved with this guy. He sounds on the verge of getting dangerous. And I wouldn’t want your sis getting hurt.
maybe he wants and thinks that he is a stone, and he wants to sink to the bottom of the swimming pool to contemplate the existance of being a stone , rather than being a stone on the surface.
maybe he is a demi god, a stone demi god of stone land !
long live the stone people !
take care
But I’m usually the one who sits on the bottom and contemplates being a stone, or a starfish. Granted I usually have a fast release scuba belt and a mini tank.
I’ve got an hour per tank. But it’s nice being a stone in a warm pool. I love hanging out down there and listening to all the underwater noise.
Thank you for this. I am going to try and be discrete. My sis has distanced herself. (As much as she can for working at a public pool.) She’s is steadfast in her decision.
She still says she can keep her distance, talk to his parents who she says are nice people that are very scared right now. She says she’ll keep the bridge open if he ever comes back to himself.
This guy has serious problems.I don’t even understand why he goes swimming when he doesn’t know how. That’s beyond delusional if his survival instincts aren’t working. If he is not talking to you two anymore I would say good riddance and consider yourself lucky you got rid of him. I kinda don’t understand why you guys would waste your time on someone who is bothering you. You don’t owe him ANYTHING. If you want to put out effort to help someone, find someone who is decent and deserves to be helped. I don’t consider myself overly cynical but in this case I would mind my own business. Choose your battles.Worry about yourself.
I agree with @77nick77. This guy is trouble and I feel like you narrowly missed him wanting your sister. Or maybe he did?
Anyways, it sounds to me like the whole “you don’t have sz” this was just panic on your part. You said (and you seem like) someone who wouldn’t say this unless they got scared. I think you sensed how dangerous this guy is and were trying to pull your sister away by any means necessary.
Your sister is strong, but it’s always best to remember the strongest people make mistakes too.
Thank you. I didn’t look at it like that. This started off as something just between C and I. He is an ex-boyfriend. I met him at my brothers Sz support group so I knew going in he was fighting off Sz. I did fall for him pretty hard. But he wanted to go further then I did physically and since I didn’t go as far as he wanted, he began cheating on me. I tried to keep the drama low. Eventually my Ex-bf and I were good. No hard feelings, he has his life, I had mine and all was well.
The Ex-Bf is back now, and not doing well at all. I was hoping that I could help. But I find, he needs more help then I can give. I feel I have been clouded by my previous feelings for him. Again I tried to keep the drama out of my family. Sometimes I don’t always see things as objectively as I should. There is a lot of confusing stuff in play right now.
I could beat myself about it, or I could just chalk it up to a learning experience. I’ll probably do a little bit of both. I hate giving up on people. At the same time, I hate upsetting my brother.
idk if these sz support groups are any good, i have never been to one,
all i remember is being scared of the people that were in the waiting area of the old clinic waiting on depot injections and i thought ‘i dont really want to know these people’ (no offence)
but when i was in hospital getting help i met some really nice people there, its like when you are in the army and you have the ‘band of brothers’ type thing, i remember we all helped each other out esp if some of the patients were pretty fkd up, some of them you couldnt help and you had to stay away from them and keep an eye on them,
idk what i’d be like if we were all in a support group together lol that be weird lol
I thought of you and your situation in my DBT group this morning. We are talking about how to deal with difficult people and the acronym DEARMAN.
Describe - the current situation, tell the person what you are reacting to. Express - feelings and opinions about the situation. Assert - ask for what you want or say NO clearly. Reinforce - by explaining consequences. Mindful - keep your focus on the objective you are after. Act like a broken record, ignore threats, comments, diversions, just keep making your point. Appear Confident - Appear effective and competent. No stammering. Negotiate - be willing to give to get. And turn the tables “what do YOU think we should do?”
