sometimes i find it very hard to believe some of the things that people say on this forum
now i’m not calling you all liars tho but when someone says says something that is totally bizarre i sometimes think ‘not even a schizophrenic could think that’
but maybe that is wrong of me,
i have had many beliefs and things happen to me that were bizarre and i guess its not a competition (sometimes i use to think people were competing for the best delusions) i thought people were actually having these delusions on purpose to prove to others how sick they were and i was like ‘you dont need to prove anything to me’
but i have had symptoms before but i was not delusional all the time, like i couldn’t bang out a delusion every night on que just to discuss on a forum (to give me something to talk about) btw this is more to do with the old forum as i saw it more there i think and it was only from a very rare few.
but seriously i know a guy that seems to have a personality change every time he goes away like we will be talking on chat then he will go away and then come back and i’m like who is this guy (seems like he is not in control of his delusions) or maybe unmedicated is another word ‘maybe’ still i know that sometimes meds can be ineffective in some cases.
i have had my fair share of delusions but i have had no real symptoms since 2010 which is a blessing so maybe that is why i am writing this post maybe i am losing touch of my schizophrenic roots but can someone tell me is that a bad thing? i have been symptom free so long i think i am starting to forget what it is like to be a schizophrenic,
i want to be normal so much that it is almost a fantasy based on reality and hope for the future, i believe that it is not just the meds making me better but my own self healing, i believe that i have put up certain barriers in my mind to block all the rubbish out, mental blocks that cannot be broken unless pushed to the limit, i have also used the fullness of coping techniques (not mechanisms) which use distraction as a main offence and reward maybe some cbt or a lot.
anyway i seemed to have veered off of the topic from a disbelief of certain delusional thinking on to recovery, sorry for making this so long,