sometimes i find it very hard to believe some of the things that people say on this forum
now i’m not calling you all liars tho but when someone says says something that is totally bizarre i sometimes think ‘not even a schizophrenic could think that’
but maybe that is wrong of me,
i have had many beliefs and things happen to me that were bizarre and i guess its not a competition (sometimes i use to think people were competing for the best delusions) i thought people were actually having these delusions on purpose to prove to others how sick they were and i was like ‘you dont need to prove anything to me’
but i have had symptoms before but i was not delusional all the time, like i couldn’t bang out a delusion every night on que just to discuss on a forum (to give me something to talk about) btw this is more to do with the old forum as i saw it more there i think and it was only from a very rare few.
but seriously i know a guy that seems to have a personality change every time he goes away like we will be talking on chat then he will go away and then come back and i’m like who is this guy (seems like he is not in control of his delusions) or maybe unmedicated is another word ‘maybe’ still i know that sometimes meds can be ineffective in some cases.
i have had my fair share of delusions but i have had no real symptoms since 2010 which is a blessing so maybe that is why i am writing this post maybe i am losing touch of my schizophrenic roots but can someone tell me is that a bad thing? i have been symptom free so long i think i am starting to forget what it is like to be a schizophrenic,
i want to be normal so much that it is almost a fantasy based on reality and hope for the future, i believe that it is not just the meds making me better but my own self healing, i believe that i have put up certain barriers in my mind to block all the rubbish out, mental blocks that cannot be broken unless pushed to the limit, i have also used the fullness of coping techniques (not mechanisms) which use distraction as a main offence and reward maybe some cbt or a lot.
anyway i seemed to have veered off of the topic from a disbelief of certain delusional thinking on to recovery, sorry for making this so long,
good on you for getting better.
it is okay to see sz in the rear view mirror.
i see wierd things on a regular basis, i guess because i am not on meds, i have known nothing else.
it would be very sad if someone was competing on here to be the wierdest, it is not really a race you want to win.
reading other peoples delusions real or not real has helped me enormously and also posting my own.
i feel safe on this forum, and understood , for the first time in my life.
take care
forgive me but i am a little bit sensitive today…
but i think it is important to remember that sz is multi layered like an onion…
some of us see many things, hear voices mostly bad, be paranoid…etc…
some of us see similar things, but mostly our onion is very individual.
personally for me i see/hear things like i am on ’ speed ', they are all real to me.
i am sensitive today , so i took your post to heart, if i was not able to talk about my delusions/reality freely there would be no point in being here.
take care
I have a delusion (?) where I think people are writing down what I say, and if I don’t like the last word I have just said, I’ll say something, a random word, to replace the other one I didn’t like. I’m not sure if that’s a delusion. Maybe it isn’t.
Glad you are doing well…But you can google ‘gang stalking’ or ‘cause stalking’ and see 1.5 million complaints about ‘social problem’ symptoms if you just knew what to search so you understand complains of others…
Mental care policy is to call this ‘delusional’ and refuse to assist with this despite fact some of the closet schizos & even diagnosed ones admit they follow orders from the voices to stalk specific strangers and verbally harass them about something private. This takes the new schizo confusion and turns many insane, resulting in self harm frequently and sometimes the armed rages to commonly in the news. (If you get confrontational with your mental care staff, you will be disciplined with forced mental hospitalizations at your own expense. The psych doctor office is not the place to discuss. Complaining about need for reform needs to be done with your politicians. But complaining publicly in your community will get many of the victims talking it up tortured worse…)
Lots of nutty folks claim God talks to them and unfortunately some crazy pastors tell their congregations to follow orders from voices to mistreat specific people, especially at the really large non-denominational churches with no church hierarchy to monitor the pastor. These biggest of churches just follow a pastor many times and some of these pastors are nuts who advocate the gang stalking behaviors and will have their parishioners harass unwanted people inside the church even. There is a lot of hatred about able bodied mental care consumers on SSDI or SSI so this happens. ‘Christian’ is convoluted term for many people who got called schizo…I’ve met many victims of this kind of mistreatment who just gave up on religion…
I advise against participating in this behavior as most of the people bothering strangers will not be able to hold down a job and must live with their parents forever. These are forced by their psych symptoms to engage in more and more illegal stuff & behavior that will get them fired – vandalism, trespassing, theft, harming acquaintances, dating specific person with intent to harm, ruining work for customers & harassing coworkers…EVentually these people end up in jail for it then forced mental care… Just not worth it IMHO.
Right there… That is it exactly. There have been some times with my youngest brother this past year where I look at him rapidly talking and racing thought ranting about his brimming charisma and how he can control people and I’ve been shaking my head thinking… “This kid has lost it. Just lost it”
Yet, when I’m convinced that I’m hearing predictions of the future in the wind… that makes perfect sense to me.
As far as not believing other peoples delusions… I go back to my journals and reread some of my past and it’s hard for me to believe some of my very own delusions. There are some that I’m so embarrassed about. There as some that were deeply engrained yet harmless enough I just have to look back and shake my head and try not to slip into them again.
But for me… the worst one, the big bad wolf of them all is my paranoia/ delusions about kidnappers. Because kidnappers exist. Kidnapping happens. I have the worst time with stuff that is simply real.
