I just got out of that flipping long episode and now I’m so stressed out from all the papers I have to write and the finals I need to study for that I’m scared I’ll send myself into another episode. W h y. I mean my god why can’t something kill me already??
The school therapist I met with today told me I needed to work on accepting I’m stressed without immediately jumping to “I want to die.” But that’s just how it is. God is cruel for keeping me here. Yeah I’m talking to you Father!! 
You are looking after yourself aren’t you? Can’t expect to work like 18hrs a day and survive. All a case of work rest play and socializing.
Yes well the end of the semester is work work and more work. Dire stress is really not good for me (or anyone for that matter) But I can’t keep myself in a bubble so I’ve got to learn how to deal with it without imminently wanting to off myself. At this point it’s a childish fit.
Hmm seems an idea to limit study as you seem to be over stressed. You are in recovery. Wouldn’t expect yourself to fight cancer with chemotherapy at the same time you run in the Olympics would you?
Well I can’t just put everything off. Then I’ll be dying of stress when I have to do it all the day before. I’m already attempting to break my work into smaller pieces and focus on what needs to get done first but you’re right I’m recovering and I kind of wish I had a week to get back on my feet instead of being thrown from the pan into the fire with finals time.
@anna you are really young!!! I am 26. My goal is to graduate college by age 30 or so… And i’m not sure I’ll be able to do that. Pace yourself!
i literally feel like killing myself every day and I have no stress. I don’t have to work, already finished college, Im basically retired at 39 waiting for the meds to kill me or give me diabetes and then kill me. Im a prisoner of flashbacks from all of my episodes, intrusive thoughts too, Im trapped like a prisoner in my jail cell of a mind that won’t let me go out in public because Im afraid to lose touch with reality and be embarrassed I guess.
lifes a bitch and cocaine is a hell of a drug
Amen to that. A lot of times I also feel like a prisoner in my mind. If I’m already at that point and I’m only 21 I don’t want to know how things will be when I’m your age. I’m hoping I’ll have a job I enjoy. If not…
@Anna I would check with your professors and see if you could get out of the classes gracefully so it doesn’t stress you out?
@MeghillaGorilla1 I hope you feel better soon.
I only have a couple weeks left in the semester, it’d be ridiculous to bow out now. I just have to work overtime to manage my stress levels.
wouldn’t want to leave ungracefully. I did that and my college slapped me with a 4k dollar debt. 
Be a hard decision to bow out now so close to the end of year. Might be an idea to increase support if you can. Maybe anther apt with your tdoc a week or so stuff like that to get you through.
Feel close to the same way man. Read my latest post. Best comfort i get is from knowing im not alone.