Crazy scared

People I walk up to talk to say I look like I’m going to beat them up. I can’t help it. I try to be smiley don’t feel right. My question is to them why are they so sensitive. The way I look makes them crazy scared. Changes heart rate. I hate these people who will be all up in your ■■■■ like “YOU ALRIGHT MAN”? like what do I look like I need a physician. Sensitive heart they have. They up their heart flight response. Which pisses me off I know they can’t harm me and its all a physiological response. I’m just trying to train my heart breathing to not get excited by people who react crazy. I know my face doesn’t show giddyness but damn why y’all got to react like that. Like some animal that can’t control it self. I just wish I could do away with the whole judging thing altogether.

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i try not to look at anyone, that way there is no interaction.
forget what others think of you , it is immaterial, if you are contented then that is all that matters…
take care


I know what u mean! Ppl always think im mad or got a problem but im not gonna walk around cheezin all day lol

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Happens to me to. I try hard to hide what’s happening inside but I don’t do a very good job of it. I can’t stand those comments and funny looks.

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If it wasn’t in the way of my recovery I could care less. But being a better schizophrenic involves dealing with others. We get anxiety, watch how they appear to you, while monitoring your heart rate with theirs and especially your breathing. Most people just want to prove to you that they are more superior. A challenge if you will. At least in my domain. When I get happy wish I could get more of no doubt I become some kind of feel good reaction from everybody. Jealousy is obviously one of the main starters of gossip. Real people don’t talk ■■■■. Just have true confidence in yourself regardless of your physical health. When I do MMA I tell myself I can’t lose. And I don’t. My opponents breathing is fast and their hearts beating. While I’m in calm deep breathing mode. Using my muscles only when needed to avoid defeat.

Leave the sphere of influence that makes you flight or fight mode. Throw around some weights is what works best for me. Animals like dogs that do that sleazy go around your back and sniff at your heels. There is one like that in the street I live in I want to call animal control but its like it will just cause the neighbors issues and I guess we’re cool them hell I don’t know. They let it roam free when the law says otherwise, I’m going to get pissed and call animal control one day. It follows the children shits in peoples yards and is just a crappy mutt. Hell our neighbors aren’t the highest homo sapiens in the chain either. Well talk to yall later be safe calm, relax, remember they cant move you.

people think I’m grumpy or sad all the time because I don’t smile 24 hours a day. Well maybe I am a little mad at times or sad, but that isn’t why I’m not smiling. I just don’t smile that much. Am I supposed to plaster on a fake smile when I just don’t feel like smiling?

I’m told that I scare people. I never pick up on it. I don’t think I scare anybody. I make it a point not to make people scared of me due to my illness because that makes me feel like crap and it’s counter-productive and it will make people shun me and I don’t want that. And just as bad, it might make people laugh at me and attract negative attention.

I do know one thing, we are always going to be scrutinized by other people. The other day I had a minor disagreement with my brothers wife- I disagreed with her opinion. My over reactive insecure brother slams me saying I am irritable, Im changing, I need a med change etc… We are always going to be targets just because of our schizophrenic symptoms - its all part of stigma and ignorance. Others need to be more tolerant and patient and understanding with us - it aint easy living with a mental illness

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I think you should of slammed your insecure brother physically. No just saying. I know. When they criticize the meds you need to take daily to survive then thats like a low blow wouldn’t u think also? I don’t appear to SZ I’m quite calm among people its people that can’t control their self give off this toxins thru my heart and veins that last a long time. That is actually true glands secrete feel bad toxins when encountered stress. Cortisol. My advice and I’ve been cool through many situations was let them talk while you breathe and think. Don’t say anything if u pls not to. Always be aware of who’s running their mouth gossip an such and avoid those people cause they will talk behind your back.

I didnt slam him, I basically left the gathering with my folks. I plan on giving him a superficial on the surface type of fraternal relationship. I tried to reach out to him, he is a very complex and difficult person to get close to. He will eventually push away. I know he has issues of his own so I plan to give him plenty of space. I will not seek him out or open up to him like I did in the past

I smile a lot, but my lip quivers and blows my whole thing I’m trying to do to let people know I’m okay. Rats.