I’m not sure what to do. I have twenty years of psychosis behind me but I still hallucinate a lot of people being cruel to me. I feel so sad. What have I done to deserve this? What should I do? Not even Clozapine is working because it has too many side effects and I’m scared of trying a higher dose coupled with more sedation…
I get that some times, though not as much now. The best thing for me has not paying attention to it, because it is very highly unlikely.
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Thanks catsrcool! I do try turning my attention to the tv or conversation but then I end up hallucinating concurrently… I must try blocking them out…
Personally trying to block them out has caused me distress in the past. I think accepting that you experience hallucinations and delusions helps greatly to reduce the distress they bring, while also potentially minimizing the symptoms.
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I don’t think you deserve this.
There’s common grounds somewhere out there, and peace with it all.
Thank you! Sometimes, I add up all the bad things that I did or things I’m embarrassed about and despite the good I was on the whole wonder if that’s why I’m in trouble…
I watched a program awhile ago that showed a brain scan of someone who heard voices. It showed in the ear that it actually showed signs of hearing something while he heard voices, so in essence the voices are actually real in the hearing sense. You actually hear and register them in the brain.
The comprehension comes from understanding that the ear as part of your head registers sound as though it were real, although it is hallucinatory. the concept that your brain is causing upset and causing an aural hallucination, rather than what it says is the beginning of understanding. Then the hallucination itself comes as the subconscious alter opposite as an idea whether friend or foe becomes a concept.
The notion that ideas are passing and can be let go of just as easily as the hallucination is the ultimate realisation. They are real as an hallucination is, but their meaning is just a let go thought that can be dismissed as most other thoughts are.
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That’s really great insight… I am supposed to practice mindfulness which is about getting to this stage where thoughts pass through the mind without me making too much of them… but it’s easier said than done…
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I am being taught now to be mindful. I am taught to ground myself and focus on something. I like candy because it’s easy to focus on it. You can focus on the flavor of the candy, it’s shape, etc. This has helped me with my delusions. I don’t have auditory hallucinations that often so I don’t know if this will help with it but I guess you can give it a try if you want.
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Great to hear that… and I’m much more motivated bearing in mind this works for you… back to mindfulness videos on YouTube!
Good luck to you
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Yes, mindfulness is perfect. Once you understand that each moment is passing and to dismiss the last, as the present always is, you can be at peace, however, to think too much upon the meaning of a voice that was present and real s not easy.
Perhaps, realising the voice is part of your subconscious and is hard to grasp meaning from when it can so easily be the opposite of what you are or think just shows the capability of the all encompassing mind and that takes in all perspectives whether you agree with them or not. i.e the mind understands and sees more than the individual consciousness of 'I" to a greater degree than “I” can comprehend. This is based upon the knowledge that the mind automatically lets go of most things it sees and remembers only the important things.
Understanding thyself and that it hallucinates is the first step to dismissing voices.
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Yes, I should increase my understanding of my broken mind as much as possible so hopefully peace will follow…
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If you can understand that your sense of self is a fraction of your mind. The part where your inner voice is a tiny part of the mind then you can begin to understand that your sense of “I” is merely a part of you. For example, If I read a page of a book i can remember the story, but not the exact words I have just read then you can see that only a part of you comprehends what you have seen.
If a voice develops that has read the same page as you (which of course it has) then parts of your mind can correlate the words to be something else and convey a different meaning. The voice may represent this. It is not you, but a subconscious self that is confused in a disordered brain.
Let go of it as easily as it was acquired and place no meaning on it, as part of you, it has no value.
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That’s really well written… I think I get it… the voices are my perspective, my mind reflecting on itself. I need to practice thinking this…
The voices are parts of your perspective and have no real meaning that has any value. Only your sense of “I” is you. The voices are part of your subconscious mind that picks up everything the eyes see, but doesn’t perceive and understand. It adds meaning when it has none and portrays itself in a voice.
The mind is vast and sees everything and on a subconscious level it can get confused, What it dismisses and dismissed before you got ill you can’t remember, but the confusion with this illness is what the mind would have dismissed before now equates in a voice. It is worthless. Dismiss it.
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Aha. Thanks for taking the time to write this. I will be thinking about it at length. I have 20 years bad habits to break but I won’t give up…
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