Constant fear of psychosis

Every day, everywhere I go, things I hear and see or feel reminds me of past episodes. I fear psychosis with my whole being.

Do you also get these constant triggers and reminders of your past or present paranoia and delusions?

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Yes because my paranoia and voices come back once a week on average and they are hell

I don’t hear voices but I can only start to imagine how much hell that is.

It is hell the feeling of being watched is unpleasant to
Mind you the episodes aren’t as severe any more and don’t last as long

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I nearly ended up in hospital end of last year because of my delusions and paranoia. I was on the max dosage for my AP and it didn’t help. So my psychiatrist prescribed for me a benzo for the first time. Thanks to the benzo and my AP I came out of the break without having to go to hospital.

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I’m with you; my psychosis was hellish, literally, and the tiniest things remind me of it. I wish memory removal were a thing.

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It’s also the stupid things we do when psychotic. I often wonder what people, especially my family think of me after an episode. It is then that I wish that I couldn’t remember anything.

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Oh yes, I definitely said some stupid things when I was really out of it. And some of the stuff I did…omg. I would black out randomly at work so I had to have a lot of help just to do my tasks there, then when things escalated, I hugged random people at the hospital. :sweat_smile:

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I hugged the nurse man too lol more than once cos the voices told me too, and I said some things I wish I had never. But I just am fearful for its return cos I don’t like losing control of my mind it freaks me out. I get where you are coming from I think

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constant. I always ask myself whether I think I’m being chased. Whether my emotions are correct. Whether I assess the situation well. I worry about it all day and can not stop it. Maybe you have some tips?

I hope it does not turn into a psychosis. I am so desperate. I have thoughts that I do not want and I always think back to them. pdoc says I am depressed and i need antidepressants. But it seems to be that you first get symptoms before you feel better.

I’ve already tried mindfulness and that helps a bit. But in the end the crisis always follows. It is as if I have no control over what I think.

But yeah. The tip I am now using is to leave the thoughts as they are. And do not go into it further. I hope it helps. Because when I start to respond to those thoughts, I am even further away from home.

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@stefan24 how does mindfulness help you, what do you do? In that sense the only thing that seems to help me is positive affirmations

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relax and concentrate on my breathing. Good for you that positive affirmations work for you. It is like the law of attraction right? Just believe in something untill it becomes reality.

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I am afraid that I may relapse. I’ve been doing fine for now.

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dude, i swear you. psychosis is so ■■■■■■ up. You can not help it. But the suffering is intense. That is why I try to prevent relapse. But you can not prevent relapse. Course studies simply show that 80% get psychosis within 5 years after first psychosis. So I would say to you enjoy your psychosis-free days.

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When I was in full blown psychosis my sister bombarded me with positive affirmations. It felt like my brain was breaking into pieces. I can’t remember ■■■■ of any of those affirmations but it sure helped to pull me through psychosis hell.

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That’s a nice sister you have. It’s true they actually make such a difference when you are in crisis point as long as you try to truly believe them as much as possible and have faith in them

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