I’m sorry that this is happening to you. Just know that I and others are also experiencing what you are, and you are not alone.
I really sympathize since I’ve been also trying to get a proper diagnoses for years. At this time all I can say about my hallucinations and delusions is that I suffer from psychosis. If you are hearing voices chances are something isn’t right.
It’s really a personal choice if you want a diagnoses, if you want to label yourself to feel more comfortable, or to just try and help alleviate your symptoms. I personally want to be able to put a name to my suffering, so I can better understand my illness.
I have some bad news. Unfortunately there is a chance that a Pdoc won’t take you seriously (speaking from experience). Talking to multiple mental health professionals throughout the years, I had reason to believe that they think if you are delusional or hallucinating you must think these things are real at all times. (Ex. Scizophrenics must not know that they’re experiencing delusions or hallucinations, instead think it’s real, which btw I think is a load of BS)
I have tried explaining the things I see and my problems with delusional thinking, but it seems like they think you cannot be self aware about your hallucinations or delusions in the age of the internet, which is ridiculous.
I am not always able to distinguish if all of my hallucinations are real (I see realistic bugs, shadow people ect) but I can always tell that the bright neon random ■■■■ I see is a hallucination.
I can, with some help, come to the conclusion that the things I believe might be delusions, but some doctors believe that if you are delusional it means you believe it without a doubt. And I mean I do, but I also know that I’m just probably being ridiculous.
I think it’s dumb that they don’t realize that mentally ill people can have insight for certain things. Like really, what would any person do if they started hearing voices or seeing crazy things? They would google the ■■■■ out of it and try and figure out what they’re going through to better help themselves.
This is just my experience, try not to let that interfere from you getting the help you need.
Anyways sorry if I explained that really poorly, I’m having a hard time putting together words today.