As of today I am in the final stage of schizophrenia, and I experiencing the negative symptoms - like anhedonia and lack of motivation. But the thing is… I am not completely anhedonic, meaning I still feel pleasure and emotion. You don’t become anhedonic overnight; in my particular situation, it is a gradual process. It’s been several years since I first noticed I was becoming more and more anhedonic, my ability to feel pleasure and emotion was gradually declining over the years. At some point I realized I was enjoying music less and less.
When you listen to a song or watch a music video that you enjoy, for example, you feel something - that happy feeling, “stimulation”, aroused, or excitement, however you describe it. I did things I enjoyed, like watching music videos on the internet, several days a week, and I realized that the satisfaction or stimulation I got from watching the music videos, and other things I enjoyed, was steadily decreasing, week by week. I guess I could say it happened in real time because I was observing or watching as it happened. That “stimulation” a healthy person would feel from doing an activity they enjoyed, was disappearing, in my case. It’s been a handful of years, and I still am not completely anhedonic, as in I still feel a sense of pleasure, just not nearly as much as I used to.
Currently on a scale of 1 to 100, just to describe my experience, I have lost at least 50 percent of my sense of pleasure, if I compare how much pleasure I’m able to feel right now, to how much pleasure I was able to feel several years ago - before I started experiencing negative symptoms. I’ve had schizophrenia since adolescence, but I always could feel pleasure during my schizophrenia then, pleasure to the maximum degree. Then the years went by, and during my middle 20’s the anhedonia initiated.
Right now, I can still enjoy music to some degree. Other activities like socializing, browsing the internet, consuming food and drink, I still enjoy, even though I am in the process of losing my sense of pleasure.
So, what I would like to know is: Can the progression of my anhedonia be ‘deliberately slowed down’ somehow? Can I fight it with medication or a supplement like vitamins? Like Omega 3’s?
Or am I simply doomed? I’m willing to try anything that is sensible or practical, as soon as possible.