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Breakdown in my kitchen

#1

I was tearing the pill packs off the sample boxes my pdoc gave me and Idk. I started tearing faster and then I just broke down crying on my kitchen floor for so long

I will be crazy and taking meds everyday for my whole life. And that felt like too much.

I spent the entire Saturday sleeping and then drank with friends at a birthday party that night. I drank four beer and I’m still recovering. No headaches just very worn down, and agitated. I can’t keep up with my family right now and I’m getting angry.

Does anyone else become angry at their limitations? Do you ever accept that you can’t do it all or do you try anyway? I’m feeling so lonely in this today. I was supposed to be home alone today but the weather is so bad there’s no school. I’m letting my kids down today.

#2

YOU HAVE THE POWER

#3

I have accepted the illness, just part of my life, yes I go through times I ask myself why do I bother, there is no joy or anyone in my life, So I do understand where your coming from.

#4

Hugs :hugs:
I had a breakdown yesterday. Just got fed up with the illness and all that it entails. I feel like my life is no longer my own because I require so much care now. Totally get how you feel.

#5

With the illness I got new tastes, needs and ambitions; therefore now I would like to be sick because I want to live in my mental world and with my schizo friends forever. :slight_smile:

#6

I feel your pain.

I want to do all the things I used to be able to do, and I have a hard time accepting that I can’t. I try hard to keep up with the regular world, and I get frustrated when I can’t :confused:

#7

Exactly. I don’t like that I started a life for myself pre illness and now I can’t keep up with it. People notice changes and I don’t like questions and anyone noticing me. I can’t really deal.

#8

I get a bit down about them sometimes but I don’t get angry about them.

There’s the 5 stages of mourning and anger is one of them though.

#9

You make me feel lucky that I got sick before sleepwalking into marriage or serious projects. :confused:

Is anger a thing for ‘stabilized’ schizos? :slight_smile:

#10

Yes. I believe so. Meds stabilise you but psychologically you end up bouncing around the 5 stages of grief for a while. That’s what I believe anyway.

#11

I’m sorry that you broke down @StripedShirtBoy.
Please hang in there, you’ll feel better soon.

#12

I’ve had my moments where I get fed up with it and with myself. Sometimes I actually blame myself, even, like “What if I had hidden it from people less? I might have gotten better treatment by now.”

#13

It’s just a rough life dealing with sz.i lost a lot in my twenties that I’ll never get back again.im sorry you’re sick. I hope for you to feel better.

#14

@StripedShirtBoy

I’m sorry that you broke down from a feeling of despair, and that’s okay, but things can and do get better.

All people are interdependent, so no one does it all by themselves. No man (or woman) is an island. Yes, schizophrenia has forced me to adapt, so I look at it as an adaptation not limitation.

There are many medical conditions that require a person to take medication on a daily basis for the rest of their life: heart disease, diabetes, thyroid, HIV, blood clotting disorders, etc.

My brother-in-law seemed to have it all; wife, kids, good job, nice house, dog–even a white picket fence. Well, a few years ago he started feeling faint and collapsed on the kitchen floor. He was rushed to the hospital where the doctor said he was in critical condition. He had an embolism. He survived, but the doctor told him he had to take a clot buster drug for the rest of his life.

Yeah, schizophrenia isn’t on anyone’s bucket list, but it’s also not the end of the world. You can still live a fulfilling life. This may have been of no solace, but I just wanted to tell you this, and I hope you feel better. :hugs:

#15

I’m sort of worried about taking an anti-psychotic for the rest of my life, so I’m in the process of switching from Paliperidone, which is sedating and causes weight gain, to Geodon, which is more weight-neutral and not as sedating, and better for motivation. Also going to use the lowest dose I can get away with.

About anxiety, ever since I started drinking a gallon of ionized water a day, I’ve had much reduced anxiety and no more night panics. Just saying.

#16

Hey @StripedShirtBoy and @antidepressant044

Sorry you guys had a bad time recently, i hope you feel better soon, meds are hard but you find the right ones and its better than being symptomatic all the time, its a relief,

I had a breakdown last month at my clubhouse :frowning: its not nice, i remember one time i went in there and just sat and cried at the table out in the open, i didnt really care that people could see the tears running down my face, they were my scars,

maybe you should talk to your dr about it, i talked to mine xxx

#17

I had five beers last thursday and it messed up my whole weekend…

It’s all part of growing up more or less… just a few wrong thoughts with the wrong intensity can change the way one feels in the long run… and alcohol is a very dramatic substance.

I can’t wait to live all that down.