So I listen to pandora radio. Sometimes weezer plays on my station. Today I was listening to one of those songs and it brought up a lot of nostalgia. The feeling of having a crush. Playing crazy taxi on the dreamcast. It was like it opened a portal back to when I was younger. It was awesome, made me reflect that I had a pretty good childhood and teen years. Memories I had lost touch with. Maybe this is a sign of recovery. To get to re-know myself. Make me feel whole again, not just a psychotic mess. What kind of stuff do you get nostalgic about?
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I used to be really nostalgic, and think back on my college days and my oilfield days and my days before I got ill, but you know what? happy memories can make you just as sad as sad ones because those days are gone. I just look forward to the future and try not to dwell too much on the past.
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I was really nostalgic. At the same time I listen to Paul’s advice in Philippians 3:13
Forgetting the things behind and stretching forward to the things ahead.
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That’s the point. And possibly sign of recovery. It is good to reform our lives as continuousness, from childhood up until now.
I think it kind of woke up that abstract sense of feeling things for me. Like now I know what to look for in my daily life instead of just fear and paranoia. I used to be so preoccupied with video games, even some shitty ones. Now I barely have the motivation at all to play them. I blame the meds. Puts the brakes on the dopamine system. Things are less enjoyable.
Christmas makes me nostalgic. Sometimes I get nostalgic about what it was like when I first came to Lake Francis Assisted Living. Life was one long drinking party of one person for me. Now I’m feeling pressure living where I am. Sometimes I get nostalgic for sweet moments of my youth.
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The times having fun with my friends. Going to the beach or the mountains or getting up early and riding our bikes to the ponds to spend the day fishing. Pushing a power lawn mower around the neighborhood, knocking on doors to see if people would pay us a little money to mow their lawns.Then taking the money and going to the pizza parlor to split a small pizza and play Pong and Pinball and watch old Laural and Hardy movies on a 6" x 6" screen.
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I’m glad your starting to get in touch with your old self… rediscover some of the happiness in your life before the head circus. Congratulations on finding some peace… even just a few moments of peace…
Mostly I’ve been nostalgic about all the change in my neighborhood. Places I used to hang out in being turned into office buildings… condos… oh well… it’s what happens to a city.
For me… nostalgia has been kicking me down. There is an element of my life that is growing up… moving on… meeting people I’ve never heard of… I’m feeling a bit nervous about being left behind.
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Thanks J. Just gotta live one moment at a time. I’m sure you’ll be alright. Being nervous just makes things more difficult it is a stupid human function. Maybe it keeps people from acting a fool.?
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i don’t get nostalgic really. i was so young when i was attacked that my life just sort of came to a halt in some ways right there and then. i was only 15 yrs old and i can remember lookin over my shoulder to watch for attackers if i walked anywhere, crossing the street if i saw a man coming the other way, checking the back seat of my car once i got a licence, before i got in to make sure no attackers were hiding there. not wearing skirts often because they made me feel vulnerable. i was still feminine by wearing make up doing my hair and nails and such but i mostly wore jeans and boots and jumpers unless i was in a safe place with people i knew. i was never carefree from the age of 15 onward. before the age of 15? i was a typical teenage girl, a show off who loved to sing and dance, loved horses and spent lots of time at the stables with my horse, i wrote poetry, stories and drew fantasy pictures, i designed clothes, wrote songs. i wanted to be somebody, make my mark on the world. i had a couple of crushes on boys but funnily enough the one i actually went out with i didn’t feel that strongly for. i felt more attraction to the boy i saw on the bus every day. we were both shy so nothing ever came of it but it felt good nonetheless. after the attacks relationships became difficult for me. i never really felt anything close to the boy on the bus till i met my husband at age 20/21. i lived with 2 guys but they didn’t really mean a lot to me. i had my own problems. i fancied people but the innocence had gone…it’s a very special thing to have and hold onto…once it’s gone you never get it back. then i met my husband, i fancied him, got to know him, fell in love, had kids, split up, became best friends, he got cancer, got back together, he died and here i am. i thinkthe only thing i feel nostalgia for is the feeling i got when i look at that boy on the bus every day, not for him, but for myself. i guess i kind of lost myself after that…i never did find myself again…not yet anyway…but i’ll keep looking anyway, just in case. you never know… i may come back one day. x
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I find when I get nervous about stuff like the future… like being left behind… like having my sis growing up and not need me anymore even as a friend… it’s all just catastrophic thinking… all paranoia and fear… creeping in. I sure wish it kept me from acting like a fool.
It’s something I need to remember… it’s time for me to let go… appreciate the here and now.
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Good luck Jayne it’s never to late.
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no you’re right, it’s not too late and never will be so long as i’m breathing. i’m doing a college course or two next year so maybe i’ll make some new friends, male or female, i don’t really care. i’ve been looking after my kids for nearly 18 years and i’ve met some lovely parents and teens because of that but now it’s time to do something for me. so i’ve been looking at a powerpoint presentation course, a desktop publishing course, a dress making course and i’d like to retake the web design course i did a few years ago. what i’d really like to do is coding but i need to re take my g.c.s.e’s to even get on the course so that’s another thing i’m looking at, unless i can do it online or something…i’d also like to study hypnosis. i can do that online and have downloaded the first module. i just need to apply myself. stop thinking and start doing. 
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I had that same problem on Risperdal till I switched to Zyprexa. It became very hard for me to just sit down and zone out to a video game or even movie. A lot of time on Risperdal was spent just laying in bed and waiting for the next thing to do with my dad like go to the store. I don’t know how much akathisia may have contributed to that, but it was the reason for the med switch. I think it might have played a big role since the times I was able to put my attention into something after about 15 minutes I would start feeling like I just couldn’t sit still or focus at all. I hope things work out for you.
awww jayne you’re breaking my heart. that was a very sweet post. I hope you feel like you can wear a skirt again some day. such a shame for such a pretty woman to hide it.
At this church camp I went to years ago as a councilor to straighten myself out (too much drug use and severe depression
in one of our learning sessions the leader had us close our eyes and ask if God has anything to show us. (Keep in mind 3 months prior I did a bunch of mdma)
So I closed my eyes and so vividly I saw like a portal then this bright rainbow color in a room around this little boy that was just crying and crying and someone was comforting him saying “it’s ok, everything’s going to be ok.”
I asked the leader what is was and he described it as “that’s you the little boy is you, and the rainbow is a sign of a promise that you will be ok”
That was pretty intense for me to see that. It looked so real and felt real
I’m not sure if that’s nostalgia or what but it was pretty heavy stuff
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aaww thanks michael…maybe i’ll wear a skirt on boxing day…oh hang on…i don’t actually own a skirt anymore lol…maybe that should be another new year’s resolution to add to the footlong list…i shall buy a skirt! or better still maybe i’ll make one! 
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