Schizophrenia.com

"Better alone than in bad company"

It’s a saying in my country.

I’m prefering my own company for the moment, tired of all the drama surrounding my friends.

I didn’t catch a break when I was in Amsterdam, the drama followed me there also. I need a break!!!

Venting here.

Have a great day everyone

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Hope you get a break from all the drama now. It’s such a waste of time and energy. Good luck! :relaxed:

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I hope so too. I didn’t reply to a text in two hours got another one saying “are you mad at me?” Jeeeesshhh Nooooooooo

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It’s a good saying. I’ll make it my motto for today.

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The truffles should have taken care of that.

No room for drama with your good pal the amsterdamian truffle.

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hope you feel better soon Minnii xxx

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You’re right, I shall ask the truffles for company.

Thank you @asgoodasitgets

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Your saying is particularly true of drinking and drugging. It’s too easy to get a lot of bosom buddies when you have mind altering substances in your possession. That bond is stronger than you’d think, and it is always so easy to find someone who wants to drink with you. This is my 113th day of not drinking, greatly helped by the fact that there are no longer stores that sell beer in town.

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Yeah… True. Not the case in this situation but very true anyway.

It looks like goblin poop.

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Okay that was a good one.

Im stealing that from you.

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I agree "Better alone than in Bad Company"
and it reminds me of a song -

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Is it possible that you don’t express your own anger enough? I wonder because your own therapeutic approach for yourself sometimes seems to be this forced-positivity / fake-it-til-you-make-it thing, and IME people who seem to be never angry are often people who are secretly angry all the time. Of course you could be a genuinely unusually mellow person in that department, but a lot of people are not, so it might give some people “vibes” like maybe you are secretly mad if you never express normal, healthy, moderate anger about things. Such as being annoyed half to death by needy friends lol. I’ve noticed that you even seem to get uncomfortable by other people’s anger, too. I could be wrong if course it’s just an impression. Your friends should still work on themselves as far as not caring so much and focusing on their own feelings/stability, but just something I wondered about.

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I express my anger… In an educated manner so to speak. I don’t get angry a lot but I say what’s on my mind. I just can’t keep saying what’s on my mind every time something comes up, it gets exhausting. Either it’s their own issues, or their irresponsibility or their genuine lack of support.

Like, it was my birthday, and only one person didn’t make up an excuse to not go. One was working, all right no big deal, the other came up with a terrible headache (the one that asked if I’m angry), and the other could go. I reschedulled it to yesterday and then didn’t feel like it so I cancelled it, made up an excuse. No need to tell anyone that they were being bad friends, they know.

I’m not into conflict really, it triggers my symptoms so I avoid it. I tend to say things in a way people understand my frustration but don’t engage into unnecessary conflict. Or, I keep quiet if I feel it’s not going to be good for my mental health.

She’s just codependent. If I don’t talk to her for a few days she thinks I’m angry at her. I hate being on the other end of that. I tried helping her, she refused. She doesn’t want labels or treatments, she wants to dwell on her misery and I’m not into that.

I’m genuinely positive and disappointment is a constant in my life.

That’s kind of what I mean, though. Like I totally get trying to be strategic so as not to get triggered. I grew up with a rager of a father and a snapper of a mother, so I also get nervous IRL trying to be assertive, I get nervous the other person will get mad at me and that it will give me an anxiety attack, etc. But isn’t that also what can get people stuck in these dysfunctional relations, too? Like did you tell your friend that you don’t like it when she freaks out if you don’t always respond to her right away, or did you just reassure her (to avoid upsetting her, avoid conflict) which will reinforce the behavior? It’s not your responsibility to change others’ behaviors of course, but what about your own boundaries and standing up for yourself? Anger doesn’t have to be RAWR sometimes it’s just an assertive oomph response like hey, please knock it off, this isn’t cool.

You’re right. I reassured her. The funny thing is, since that she didn’t say anything. So it’s like she knows I’m pissed at being her cleanex for her drama, but at the same time she wants the comfort of not being told the truth.

The thing is, I can be mean in telling people the truth, I don’t always know how to measure words like that and it can come off as being just aggressive. I fear that so I keep quiet if I know I won’t put the words nicely together. Sometimes it’s better that I keep quiet. I don’t want to provoke unnecessary drama to an already dramatic person.

But it’s not just her, I’m really tired of all the rest of my friends problems and issues. It’s like not one f*cking neurotypical around to ground me and it gets tiresome.

Yeah I kind of know what you mean. I’ve wondered how you perceive these things because we seem to have some somewhat similar issues. If I remember your posts right, we both grew with unstable parents, we’ve both been in abusive romantic relationships, and IRL we both seem to attract needy friends. So I figure there is something about us that is attracting these people, and possibly because of our childhood experiences. So I’ve been wondering how it looks from your perspective and how you’ve been navigating it since your therapy you mentioned, if I remember right. I took a similar approach starting years ago and just started dropping people who seemed to take advantage, but I never learned how to forge healthy relations with healthy people, so at this point in my life I have no in-person friends at all. I feel like it’s better (better lone than in bad company, like you said) but still not really ideal.

This is what I’m working on in therapy right now. The best advice my therapist gave was really “take a breath and let it go” meaning, I can’t help them all, I can’t be there for them all, I don’t have to like everyone, it’s okay not to, it’s okay to turn my back if it’s bad for me. Some people are just toxic and then it’s not even possible to build healthy relationships, so instead of getting frustrated I turn my back and let it go.

I think in all of this, and when this phase is over, I’ll have two friends, and right now it seems more than enough to be honest.

Alrighty, I see then the reason behind your approaches, as far as

So maybe this is a phase in the overall healing process, like you gotta start with letting go of bad ■■■■ before learning how to build the good ■■■■.