Bad Feelings

Hi,
Been off meds since Feb of this year. Been doing great but now I am struggling with voices which keep telling me all manner of things, including calling me names. The things they say are those I have been told much of my life which are quite unappealing.

As well feeling betrayed because I feel like there are quite a handful of people who treat me like trash just because they can. Mental illness seems to give a number of people a licence to treat me as they feel like.

Who has any thoughts on this? Can’t afford alternatives for now.

Annie

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You mean you can’t afford meds? That would be sad, No meds I slowly get ill and lose touch with reality

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Why did you stop your meds? If it’s a question of side effects, you can always try different meds. If it’s a question of money, there are cheaper drugs out there.

If you don’t have any access to health care right now, here’s a trick I used to use when my voices got bad. It takes a lot of practice, but it really helps.

I take a few deep, calming breaths, and find a balanced center. I don’t let myself get upset. I remind myself that the voices are just a product of my own thoughts, and I have control over them. I tell myself that voices don’t have to be mean. I wait until I truly believe it.

Then, I imagine there is a dial that controls the “channel” I’m listening to. I reach out and turn it, focusing on what I’d rather hear. If I’m feeling calm and balanced, I can switch the voices from angry yelling to a more relaxing background noise. I usually concentrate on the voice of my friend talking about video games. I could never make the voices disappear entirely without meds, but being able to change them to more friendly voices really helped me.

Another thing you can do is listen to an audiobook or music to drown out the voices. My husband discovered that when he talks to me, I don’t hallucinate as badly. So he recorded himself reading from a boring textbook for three hours. When I have a bad night, I can play his recording while I go to sleep.

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I can afford meds but I dont want to take any as I feel really unwell when I do.

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OK, thanks. Great technique there.

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Not all meds have the same side effects. You should work with your pdoc and explore some other options med-wise. Maybe you can come up with something that works for you.

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Annie,
I hate to hear you are suffering. Did you try a lot of meds? They really can help!

I just cannot do medicine anymore

Most are not nice for me. Hate the side effects mainly.

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Almost all meds have side effects but I know for myself prefer the side effects than do without medications. They keep sza symptoms more manageable

I used to hate meds but I found Paliperidone, it keeps the positive symptoms low without too many bad side effects. It doesn’t slow my thinking down noticeably, making me feel any slower than I am used to. That was initially my deal breaker. The weight gain is manageable with diet.

Some people do better off vs on meds. By better, that does not mean your life will be perfect. Accepting and working around your limitations is key.

People who are not sick are not perfect either. You may have to learn to be around people you trust. You may have to find an easy setting with no triggers or conflict.

For me, conflict is a big trigger.

Being on meds was not a sustainable state for me. In future there may be atypical antipsychotics like lumateperone and roluperidone. These medications will likely eliminate many of the issues we face with the currently available drugs.

It may be long in the future, but CBD is also another possibility. CBD is a compound in cannabis which some have argued would help with the types of symptoms you are struggling from.

Look at it this way…human interaction may be more than people like us can manage at times. I know it is for me.

It is not that we are less than normal people, we are just wired a bit differently than they are. Like any rare disease, parts of our social control center (the brain) are off, and as such, we might find modern life hard to manage.

This is not a failing on our part. We must simply find a way to build a supportive community of people around us who can help us pick ourselves up when we cannot handle the things other people might be able to hurdle past.

This is what we must do to survive. Rather than fighting, we must rely on our smarts, as well as those around us, to make it.

Where someone else might make it because they feel no anxiety, we must find a different way of making it.

We might have to stay home on days other people show up. We might have to rely on certain medications at times. We may have to have a dialogue with our fellow sufferers. We may have to have a dialogue with our psychiatrists and caregivers.

We may have to learn patience. We may have to reconcile that we might need to take a passive rather than active role in life at times. We may have to forget our egos in the interest of survival.

Having this illness is a full time job. These things I’ve written are lessons I am trying to learn myself.

Yeah, I agree with you. Its not easy to stay on meds and for me as well, bad relationships are a trigger.

Thinking of affordable alternatives.

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Your life is everything but boring. I envy you. They are people taking drugs to hear voices because there life is dull.

What? The condition can be devastating and very painful. Its not anything to envy. Those taking drugs to hear voices don’t get all symptoms.

Why don’t you take medication when it is so devastating and painful.? You are risking your and other lifes.

Not really risking anything. The voices are what have lingered, but I know they will be gone in no time.

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