Hi! New here and I’ve been hearing voices since I was 17. I am now 22. There’s 2 of them and they have names. A girl named Vivian who’s about 24 years old and a guy named Jonathan who’s about 27. I haven’t been on meds for a loooooong time. I actually never really been on meds out of the hospital. They don’t seem to help. I hear my voices ALL the time. ALL day, EVERY day for the past 5 years. They NEVER go away and they only say mean things. About a year and a half in (3 & 1/2 years ago), I started to physically hit myself. And when I say “I”, I mean my voices… They physically control me to beat myself. Purple eyes, swollen cheeks, busted lip. I have no control over this but basically it’s me punching myself in my face. They tell me they will stab me if I don’t cry. I obviously cry but I’m emotionally numb if that makes sense. I’m afraid that they will control me to stab myself one day. I haven’t told anyone about this not even my family and they’ve been threatening to do it for over a year. I’m depressed, helpless, scared but at the same time I feel nothing. I don’t want to die but I want to sleep forever and never wake up. 
I’m so sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. I really do think you need meds though, if you stop taking them as soon as you get out of hospital you are not giving your self a chance to recover on them. It can take time and patience to find the right meds, I totally understand that having been through numerous combos myself. But don’t quit your meds thinking they won’t work, you just need to find the right med that works for you. It isn’t an easy process, but you can reach a state of stability if you persevere. My sympathy is with you though, all of us here understand how hard it can be.
May I ask how long you tried meds before you decided they didn’t help?
Some meds take months to properly function, and it can take even longer to notice the effects.
It sounds like you need to give the medications another try, and to be patient while waiting for improvement.
I would also advice you to tell someone in your family about this, so you don’t have to go through it alone.
… And to tell a therapist or psychiatrist.
You need to be on meds. It took me 4 years of trial and error with meds before I found the right ones.
Heavy sedatives might be the solution for you 
It takes some time for them to work, I remember that they aren’t instant in their anti psychotic effect.
They might make you really fat, and you will probably wont like this part. But if you’ll eat smart and be disciplined enough it won’t affect you.
But you see, I’m in delusion that my voices are people I know from my old neighborhood. Not friends, never really had a convo with them but I did have a crush on Jonathan (one of my voices), he disappeared in Jan 2017, he hasn’t said a word but I can still feel him around. I strongly believe that they did something to me such as Santeria or voodoo kos Vivian (the other voice but also the real girl) believes in that religion. I feel them poke my body and she uses drugs. She sniffs meth. And idk how this works but when she does I can feel my nose start to burn as if I was sniffing a line. Is that normal? Is it common? To feel pokes on your body and get bruises from your voices?
Yep, hallucinations can come in all forms, in all of your senses including touch. Honestly, you really need to be on medication, it is the only answer. I know it all feels real, but it isn’t .
I really should! I have no one to talk to about this kos they don’t really know what to say and in the state at which I’m currently living, I have to work for my meds kos they denied me Medicare. Their laws are stupid. I can’t work, it’s a struggle. I beat myself at work 
but marijuana helps! That’s why I don’t take meds that’s why I stopped taking them kos they basically cross cancel. But I will definitely see a doctor soon kos I can’t do this anymore thanks for replying! Gave me some insight.
Marijuana can be problematic for positive symptoms like voices. We all respond differently to things but pot can be a trigger and it can cause psychosis or increase it’s effects.
Sounds like you need meds and I know it’s tough but giving up the weed for a bit so you can isolate what is happening is the way to go! And see a psychiatrist. Most decent shrinks have seen most of it all before!
If you feel like causing serious harm to yourself at any time consider being hospitalized.
As for hitting yourself and all that, that can be physically and emotionally scarring. Work with a doctor or therapist to find options which will help you stop that behavior.
It takes time for the meds to start working. Also, you have to find the right dosage. 5mg abilify did nothing for me, but 10mg stopped me from being scared of everything and seeing things that were not there.
This topic was automatically closed 95 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.