I’ve got a job interview on Monday at Goodwill. Wish me luck.
Six years wasn’t a bad run, right? This janitor job lasted longer than any other job I ever had. But I am counting on a position that will not hurt my back.
I have arthritis in my lower back from unloading heavy merchandise off of 52 foot truck trailers for four years in the early nineties . And I did it with breakneck speed and I was one of the top workers on our 9 man crew. My competition were a bunch of guys in their late teens and early twenties. I was 35 years old.
But at my work lately, I have been making big errors and forgetting stuff and I get around very slowly. The tasks that used to take me an hour to do just a year ago are now taking 3 hours, This morning when I got into work, they gave me two assignments that should have taken me three hours at the most but I didn’t get finished until 5 hours went by.
I know my supervisors must be discussing this with each other but for now, they are giving me chance after chance to get better and nobody talks about it in front of me. The only reason I haven’t gotten fired already is because they like me and I used to be a good worker before my troubles and I have been there so long. I’m actually amazed that they haven’t fired me. Another part of the reason is that after doing this job for six years I know the job pretty well and it would be a hassle to replace me. But just a month ago I did really well on a time study of my work and my productivity was way up and bosses complimented me for the improvement
Anyway, all the stressful things that have happened to me in the past year including my mom’s death have taken their toll. My memory is shot, my back hurts and I can’t bend at the waist and last night I literally got amnesia. A big chunk of my memory is gone. Disappeared. Kaput. At this point, I have to ignore it for now and just carry on. That’s all I can do for now. I’ll tell my shrink and my therapist and see if they have any ideas on getting my memory back.
I’m stressed as hell. I have been running around like a chicken with his head cut off and I stopped a few a weeks ago and I realized that, that isn’t normal. I could handle physical and mental stress in my thirties and forties but now I’m 55 years old and I am also suffering from crippling fatigue. I try to ignore it at work but it is always there and with all the stress and pressure I am seriously, seriously afraid I might have a heart attack, like my dad did.
Sorry, I hate to bring people down but this is what my situation is. It’s not all bad though. I literally have moments of peace and reflection. I look back on my life and I often wonder, "How on earth did I do that, lol? I look back on all my jobs and going to college and doing stuff with friends and I stand in awe of myself, lol. But 55 is too young to give up.
I have a realistic shot at getting my old productive life back. I have a few more obstacles than I did when I was younger, but like my step-dad, who I’ve known for 25 years, told me a month ago in an, e-mail.
He said he has always admired me for my ability to achieve my goals, no matter what else is going on in my life at the time. He’s an extremely bright guy and he’s traveled to other parts of the world, so that was a big compliment coming from someone like him.
Anyway, I’m looking forward to the weekend. The weather has been mild and warm and sunny. I got gas in the car, I’ve got a little money and two days to explore the big city. My goal is to go downtown for some sushi. I might go to the park, I’ve done that several times this month. Yep. Tomorrow is “good food day”, I will definitely go out to eat somewhere even if it is just driving down 10 blocks to McDonald’s.
I hope you guys have a great night. See you in the funny papers and be kind to your rats, dogs, and cats.