I will be a junior this year, I am majoring in psychology, concentrating in behavioral neuroscience. It sort of sucks. I take only 13-15 hours each semester, I have AP credits from high school so I have wiggle room. I might take an extra semester to graduate, but that is worth staying sane. I am in the honors program and I am on a full ride so I have to take honors classes, which are basically twice as hard. I havent made a C in my college career, and have made just a few B’s and the rest A’s. It isnt fun. I hate it. I wish I was done with this ■■■■. There are some professors and classes which are fun but the others are just not enjoyable at all.
I need at least a masters, then I can get a job in psychology. I just have to plug away at school and function like a robot, drink coffee, study, go to class, repeat. Honestly, after the first two years, school starts to suck, it gets old, yeah it is a good place to meet people, and I do meet people and have made friends, but to be honest, I dont like to think about school. I take my classes in the afternoons and night because I take forever to wake up, drink coffee, eat and take my meds. Getting out of bed takes me half an hour.
Once I get into the swing of things every semester, my (I know this is arrogant) very high IQ takes over and I just end up with a 3.9 or 4.0 for the semester. I went to an elite high school, I am pretty bright, I earned a free college education with my test scores and GPA, so I go to school for free and remind myself that I must take what is mine- a bachelors in psychology is mine for the taking, and if I make straight A’s in honors classes, I might earn a scholarship to graduate school.
Don’t worry about anything but if you think you belong in school. If you think you belong in the classroom, then go to school. It’s not right for everyone, I can tell you that.
The worst thing about college is being single. I have never had a long-term relationship and it hurts. I am so good at all of this other ■■■■ but cant get a boyfriend or girlfriend. I can make an A+ in a class which the professor said most people dropout of and then half who stay fail, (Formal Logic), I have done crazy ■■■■ in the gym as powerlifter and have recently switched to bodybuilding and look like a middleweight UFC fighter, but I can’t seem to find a significant other, just friends with benefits.
And then a lot of the people I meet in college are schizo-biased, into drugs and alcohol, already have boyfriends, ect. I am bisexual and predominantly homosexual, so you could basically call me gay. That makes it even harder.
Honestly, unless you are just think you are supposed to be in school, for whatever reason, think long and hard about it. Finals can trigger psychosis, the stress can break you.
And I got to school in Memphis, there are all sorts of people at the University. It’s quite diverse but there are also a fair number of old people and really not-so-smart people who say dumb things and ask stupid questions, people who work while theyre in school and therefore make bad grades, (not all but some students who work do that) people who just want to make a C and pass, then there are occasionally kids in the honors program who give even better presentations that I do.
I have been fixated on finding a significant other lately and school just sounds like no fun right now. I think I need to move somewhere else for grad school, everyone in the gay community knows each other in my city. There are a few nice parts of town where people my age socialize and the rest of the city is dangerous. The gay club was not the right place for me, too many low class people there. I got too much attention and was being hit on by even the employees, the bartender was hitting on me a lot in particular. I dated a few people from the club, one was low class, one was sketchy, one was flaky and would text me asking me how I was and then I would reply and then he just didnt text back. I’ve dated people from class who were either into drugs or alcohol or both, things I cannot and will not put up with in a relationship. I cant date someone who trips or gets plastered every weekend.
Ugh school. I just want a degree and be free to move to another city to work and start a fresh life. I have been here in memphis ever since I was born. I feel like the hell I have endured should mean I am older, but no, I feel like I am 27 or 30 trapped inside a 21 year olds body.
