so i started my counselling course today and luckily it was only a half day because it really took a lot out of my psychologically, it was pretty intense and even though i hide it well i was still struggling and beginning to doubt if i could do it or not, so i am still doubting and thinking that its not as easy as i thought, i think if the crowd was any bigger then i might struggle even more as i don’t trust people easily and we had to tell people about ourselves so i told then a bit about myself and that i had mental health problems and i was asked a few questions (i was well out of my comfort zones) later we all sat in a circle, its really hard 
started getting chest pains as i came out too i think i’m still in shock really
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Now would be a good time to take it easy, decompress and breathe.
But hey… congratulations on starting to open up. IT’s NOT easy to start to open up. It hurts and it’s scary and it used to make me hyperventilate and sweat. But it DID get easier as I opened up more and got more comfortable with myself and the situation.
It’s nice that people asked you some questions and didn’t just judge and run away. I know your are far out of your comfort zone, but little by little you will get stronger.
I don’t doubt that this is not an easy class. But if you can hang in there and finish, you’ll have a huge accomplishment under your belt.
Since you did open up about your illness just a little… I’d say tell the professor that when things get too intense, you DO need a moment to step outside and collect and decompress and then you can come back in.
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Kudos to you for being able to stick it out today! 
First day of class is always hard. I’ve been in college for some time now and I still get butterflies on the first day. I hate the icebreakers when we have to talk about ourselves. I’ve never disclosed that I have a mental illness, I worry how people will react. But I think the fact that you did in a class such as the one you are taking could be quite beneficial. You know how people with mental illness struggle and you can probably come up with more innovative techniques to revolutionize therapy in some way.
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I would not tell anyone about the illness unless they find out or if they ask specifically about schizophrenia. People are mostly ignorant, remember that. Step outside of the psych department in a university and everyone has stupid conceptions of what schizophrenia is, you would be surprised at how even PhD’s in other subjects dont even know what schizophrenia is. My world civilization professor thought it was split personality disorder, and she got her PhD in history crap from Notre Dame. Guess she never took a psychology class as an elective. Lol
And dont tell first dates or it will be your first and last date with that person.
Stigma is bad. ALS ice bucket challenges are everywhere, bipolar and schizophrenia get zero sympathy because we arent visibly messed up like Stephen Hawking in his frankly pathetic chair, no, I look like this
“This” is a very athletic young man who is on scholarship to a university who has had only 3 B’s and the rest A’s in his four semesters of university. He also has a very bad case of paranoid schizophrenia and takes three psychiatric medications, two of them multiple times a day. He was referred to a therapist who specializes in highly functioning patients. Said therapist costs 150 USD/hour
Don’t tell a class you have schizophrenia unless you feel like you are fully recovered and doing so goes against the stigma and stereotypes. I did tell a class one time, in honors abnormal psych, the teacher asked us if a video she showed us of a psychotic episode was accurate, to see if we had done our reading. I spoke up and said “I have a paranoid schizophrenia and I would have to say that video was spot on.” That was the only time I mentioned it to others publicly, and now everyone in the honors psych program knows me as the muscular paranoid schizophrenic who wears a lot of black.
And chest pains? You need some Klonopin. Im serious. I have told professors about my condition when things go wrong- like falling asleep in a night class- I then told the professor what medications I was on and what was wrong with me. Like when I had an episode and quit participating in a class which I had been very active in- I brought in a doctors note. Stuff like that, when you are actually handicapped by your illness.
I have been in school full-time for going on my third year. I have trouble and get a little symptomatic the first and last week of each semester- nerves going in and nerves during finals. It sucks.
College is maybe the most stressful thing you can do. I know plenty of intelligent people who either drop out or resort to heavy use of drugs or alcohol or both to handle the stress. There is a reason so many normal people drop out- it will test your limits and make you freakout. That is how the education system works. If you do endure it, you are instantly in the middle class. I think it is a fair game. I just want a graduate degree and doing what I enjoy (abnormal psychology) and to live comfortably. If I am still kicking after a masters program, I will take a shot at a doctorate.
And just to clarify, I am no exception to the drug and alcohol approach to college- I was a binge drinker for my freshman year and a heavy smoker for my first two years. I quit smoking a little over a month ago and had a dream about smoking a cigarette while driving last night. I used to be Alky McEthanol, majoring in cheap liquor and minoring in cigarettes with some electives in psychology.
Private message me if you want. I get on here every morning with my coffee and I am a full time student, and to keep my scholarship I have to keep a high GPA. Talk about stress. Everyone tells me that I am a perfectionist. Well clinical psych graduate programs only take about a dozen new people every year. I don’'t have a choice, I have to be a perfectionist.
Stress runs high. My meds help but I also lift weights intensely and engage in sex/masturbation regularly to keep my brain from hating life. Like last night I jerked off and had trouble feeling like I wanted to because I was not in a good mood.
Then winter and summer breaks are hilarious, I lay on the couch and watch anime all day then go lift weights, then hangout with my friends. I go from “such a fine young man” as my grandparents say to “a lazy piece of ■■■■” as I admittedly am when I am not in school.
Last winter break, one of my best friends from high school was also on break an in town, and all we did was watch anime, lift weights and then watch more anime every single day. We also ate a lot of food. I mean we spent so much time just laying on the couch watching anime and eating panda express that I think we should both have honorary doctorates in Asian studies. But he’s Korean.
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i didn’t tell anyone i had schizophrenia today i just said i had mental health problems since i was about 20 and i am 32 now but i’ve been doing college for a couple of years and i want to add to my list of qualifications and see where it takes me,
this class is intense and its going to get even more intense next week as more people join, think of it as talking to a therapist and then picture that but with another 20 people all around listening and thinking about what you say while trying to teach you at the same time.
the other thing that is different from last year is the fact that this class is about 5 hrs long compared to 1or2 hours a class before, like before when i was doing the other course last year i could have breathers every 1 or 2 hours now its like the same subject but i still have breaks only it is more intense.
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This does sound intense. I could only imagine how hard it would be.
Learning how to listen and not try to pen people into actions, but just finding the real questions underneath the uncertainty and the fear can be very hard work. I do hope the best for you as you go through this.
It’s not an easy class at all. A class that long is pretty high up on the credit system too. It’s like a working lab. I can imagine how great you will feel when you finish this class. I’m sending you the best wishes I can.
I once took a class on how to be an effective volunteer with an AIDS clinic. I was being trained to listen and hand out correct information and connect people with the clinic. Just that little bit required many very intense training sessions.
There was a lot of training on how to open up just enough, how to listen and how to gently suggest a course of action. We were NOT supposed to bully people into going to the clinic. We were taught to encourage.
It was very hard work. I bet it’s that intense for you as well. I am really proud of you for taking on this class.
Good luck and I hope it goes easier for you as you get to know the other students and work together toward becoming good counselors.
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thanks Riley, i had a tough night tonight but coming on here cheered me up, i think it was all of that group work that must have stirred up a lot of emotions in me, i came home and my mood just kind of nose dived at about 2pm and i was sparkled until about 9pm when sweep tempted me out and we went for a walk outside and had a drink,
i hope i don’t make a fool of myself while there, its hard to believe but i thought i heard the teacher call me weird today and that is a bit annoying and i think people are going to judge me and stuff, mostly about work and benefit related items or maybe even my mental state, another thing is that i am not use to listening to people talk for a long period of time and it stresses me out so that could be a problem too.
i’ll keep doing it as long as i can tho, i don’t want to fall at the first hurdle x
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classes like that are very intense, I’m sure everyone is nervous about opening up to strangers. It doesn’t make it any easier, and everyone is out of their comfort zone opening up and learning counseling skills.
It was very emotional when I was just taking volunteer classes like that. Most people go into those classes with a lot of personal motivations. Some have family afflicted, some are battling an illness themselves, some have survivors guilt. As this class goes on, it will get pretty intense, but remember to take breaks as you need, maybe set something cheerful up before you leave so you have something nice to come home to.
I’m glad you managed a walk and some decompression time. You might need to ask Sweep to hang with you as a friend for next time too. Don’t be afraid to say you need some cheering up.
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