Avoidant behaviour

How many of you are avoidant? It has been 10 days since the assessment with Richmond fellowship and still I haven’t been to see if I can easily get to one of the places. The reasons it involves veering slightly from my comfort zone. This is just one example of my avoidant tendencies. Another part is a reluctance often to go out of the house unless I really have to.
It seems that avoidance often goes with paranoia, or at least avoidant PD can often go with paranoid PD .

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I hope a befriender can help you get out and give this a try.

I feel there was a period that I was very avoidant. I was afraid to get outside my area for anything. But with my family still around… they took me places.

Sometimes… I feel very brave about being able to go new places… but when it comes down to it… I’m not going alone. I have my sis or parent or brother with me.

Maybe you could call the befriender place and get help getting the ball rolling?

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Unfortunately the befriender service went with cuts and a restructuring of the charity that provided it. Richmond fellowship turn up at groups they provide but don’t accompany people to different places.

I am so sorry to hear that this service is gone. Do you have a visiting nurse or someone who does wellness checks?

Unfortunately no visiting nurse as II don’t fit in the acutely ill/ what they see as ‘in crisis’ grouping.

Hope you don`t mind me asking…how do you get your laundry done, grocery shopping etc…

Laundry- I have a washing machine. Lost the manual ages ago so no idea what all the buttons do. Chuck clothes in and turn dial to 40 degrees… If the washing machine broke I’d struggle(couldn’t do it) to plumb in a new one/remove the old one. When I first went on consta and got a moderate case of akathisia I anxiously obsessed about the machine breaking down. To the point I started washing clothes in the bath to minimise using it That went on for over a month.

Grocery shopping- almost all online, occasionally go to the supermarket for a few things.

Housework- major struggle due to struggling to break it down to small manageable parts. Poor organisational/planning skills. Do better if someone takes over and I’m assigned a small area to do. Youngest step daughter has a blitz when she visits. She arranged for cleaners to come in but that only lasted for a few months- didn’t like coming to the block of flat, didn’t like cleaning for a mentally ill not physically disabled person. After 2 cleaners the company were reluctant to send anyone else and I stopped the contract.

Getting places- if it’s outside my comfort/safe zone I don’t go unless accompanied by someone.

GPs- very avoidant -only seen once in 9.5years and that was when accompanied by two of the rehab and recovery team.when I was seeing them.

I know that not all that is strictly ‘avoidant’ but I hope you get the picture.

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**Yeah-my son is slipping. Of course hes been off meds for months. Bathing is getting bad, not doing his laundry ( he has to go to a place to do his laundry ) I take him to the grocery. When hes on his meds, he is the opposite. **

I just went out today to get cash and beer after months inside…

. I don’t know I’m trying to contribute

I workout everyday at the park near my house,I have no problem doing the push-up and jogging but I also had to go pull up,at the places where I do the pullup there are sometimes a lot of young people,teenager and children.when I see those young people at the pull up bar I would get anxious and have avoid behavior as I would not do the pull up and chance to do other strength stuff,I find teenagers and kids is more tougher for me to socialize with than adult,I think it’s because I feel I rather get embarrassed by adults of my age or older than people who are younger

I think I will continue my daily life and try to be active and less avoidance as possible and hope I can improve and not avoid people or things that much

I don’t like my bath so hardly ever use it (too narrow and shallow)… I have a strip wash every 4-5 days. The strip wash goes along with changing my clothes. I try to wear my clothes as long as possible to use the washer less((the extreme anxiety over it has gone but there is still the chronic anxiety of it breaking down and my being stuck). Also, truth be told , motivating myself to change clothes and wash more often is an additional problem.

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If I did not work I would be stuck at home so I force myself out there… it’s not easy I spent years avoiding going out in my late teens to early 20s but it does get better trust me but you have to work at it.


I try to wear clothes too long too.
I used to take long showers and scrub a lot and was tiring since standing is tough too long with MS.
Now I’ve mastered get wet, turn water off. Use soft soap all over. Rinse. 15 minutes tops.

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C. is the opposite. He is washing now. He goes to extremes whem not on meds. Either overly clean ( including his place) or letting everything go for awhile…

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I avoid most task oriented things I do it at the last possible minute or I just end up not getting it done. It sucks, the tasks big or small just seem impossibly difficult to get started on.
Once I get started though I can get it done.

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I’ve been diagnosed with “avoidant personality disorder” before. I avoid everything.

I’ve got worse to the point of (I think) being really irrational . For example I have put off changing my laptop because I was thinking it would be too difficult to get it set up with the software I have on this one, and something will go wrong that cuts me off from being online. The thing is I have changed laptop before and just popped into the computer shop and bought a new one without thinking twice.
It’s hard to avoid “If I do it things will go wrong” thinking over the smallest of things. If I can avoid/ put things off I will.